Sunday night, something incredibly awkward occurred at the 89th Academy Awards.
In the spirit of Steve Harvey, presenters Warren Beatty and Faye Dunaway were given the wrong card before announcing the night’s final award for Best Picture. La La Land was erroneously declared winner, and what resulted was catastrophically uncomfortable.
The Red Carpet: Oh Lorda Mercy. Sunday = Oscars. Monday = Trade deadline. We don’t know which town is more nervous, Hollywood or Washington.
Larfs, what a silly question! Of course we do. Exactly because we’ve served our time in both, and we know which town is more bloodless:
Phone call in DC: “Hello. Yeah, but what can you do for me tomorrow?”
Phone call in Hollyood: “What? You again?” *click.*
Check it out. Starshines like Julia Roberts or Harrison Ford disappear from the screen. A little too… seasoned. Anonymous tradesmen like James Cromwell or Melissa McCarthy: can’t book you enough. Proven winners… and we hate this more than you do… like Brad Pitt or Meryl Someoneorother. Well, they win. Because they’re winners. Until they don’t.
Russian Machine Never Breaks is not associated with the Washington Capitals; Monumental Sports, the NHL, or its properties. Not even a little bit.
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