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You know things are bad when even the Canadians are trolling. At least they’re nice about it.

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Scoared Alex Brandon

Photo: Alex Brandon

It has been eleven long days since the Capitals won a game.  We’ve had like three or four completely different seasons of weather since the last time they added a point to the standings and after a sparsely attended sixty minutes in snowy Washington, D.C., that streak is gonna get even longer. You’ll be planting succulents and buying beach towels before these guys win again.

Skip this paragraph. After a scoreless first, Kyle Turris got past Karl Alzner and beat Holtby to put the Senators up 1-0. Jason Spezza scored a powerplay marker in the third while Erat was in the box.

That’s it. The Ottawa Senators beat the Caps 2-0. A shutout. That’s six straight losses for the Capitals.

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Senators beat Caps 3-1 to Close Out 2013

Oleksy face  - Jana Chytilova

Leksy’s face. (Photo: Jana Chytilova)

After losing to Buffalo despite dominating play on Sunday, the Capitals hoped to close out 2013 with a road win in Ottawa. Unfortunately, without the whole “goals” part of hockey, wins are hard to come by. Prepositions are easy to end sentences with.

Joel Ward notched his 12th of the year just two minutes in as Craig Anderson deflected his shot (which was going wide) into the Ottawa net. The Sens stuck back with a two-on-one series executed by Mika Zibanejad. In the second, Kyle Turris put the Sens up with a gorgeous goal, shaking off a hook and tricking Grubauer before scoring. The Caps couldn’t beat Anderson in a late-game flurry, and Clarke MacArthur got the empty netter. The Caps have dropped their last game of the year.

Sens beat Caps 3-1. Goodnight, 2013.

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Festival of (Red) Lights: Sens Edge Caps 6-4

SensGoal

Photo credit: Patrick McDermott

Blame Rachel Cohen for this.

Blame Rachel Cohen for this.

[Note: This recap is Chanukah-themed tonight. Why? Because there's literally no one on the Internet right now.]

Last week, there was only one way to describe the play of the Washington Capitals: shameful. After winning three straight, the Capitals allowed seven unanswered goals at Verizon Center, before showing some life late against Montreal. Saturday’s game, though, was markedly different. The Capitals still lost, but they put 50 shots on goal, Washington’s highest total since 2010. On the first night of Chanukah, the Caps looked to continue that output against the lowly Ottawa Senators. They did — at first.

It started with a sublime play by yelling person-cum-Jewish pun Michael Latta, who skated into the offensive zone, got tripped, and then pole vaulted over a Sens defender. The loose puck went to Eric Fehr, who unleashed a lovely wrist shot to put the Caps on the board. Ottawa tied it up less than a minute and a half  later, however, when Bobby Ryan tipped one past Braden Holtby on the man-advantage. However, Marcus Johansson whacked in a loose puck in front on the power play just 38 seconds after the Sens tally, giving the Caps a 2-1 lead. BUT WAIT! A mere 47 seconds later, Brooks Laich backhanded home a loose puck in front. Four goals in under five minutes. Whew!

The second period was all Sens. Chris Philips put them within one with a blast on the power play, before Colin Greening tied the game at three.

In the final frame Mika Zibanejad added another PP tally. Ugh. The game looked hopeless until John Carlson tied it late. Prepare to cry, though, because just over a minute later Zach Smith beat Mike Green and Nate Schmidt to win the ballgame. Ryan added an empty netter. Sad face. Vodka. Sens edge Caps 6-4

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Senators beat Caps 2-1 (OT) Because Mike Ribeiro

Patrick McDermott

Check out the Hendyface! (Photo credit: Patrick McDermott)

I was expecting some kind of letdown after the Washington Capitals ensured themselves a playoff spot on Tuesday, but dude. Thursday’s game against the Ottawa Senators wasn’t bad by any stretch, but it didn’t carry the same gravitas now that the Caps are locked in third place. Erik Karlsson’s unlikely return to service was heartening for pure hockey fans, but it’s way too late in the season for us to muster up that kind of neighborliness. Besides, it’s totally possible this is the team the Caps will have to face in the playoffs, so we should probably get the enmity brewing now.

Karlsson got one, then Ovi got one. Then overtime, where ex-Cap Sergei Gonchar won it all because Mike Ribeiro is a liability.

Sens beat Caps 2-1. Ottawa makes the playoffs.

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Streak Ends Here: Senators beat Caps 3-1

Andre Ringuette

Riding high on an eight-game win streak, the Washington Capitals had all kinds of confidence before their game at the home of the Ottawa Senators. Confidence apparently doesn’t translate into puck possession, as the Capitals got totally tyrannized by the Senators. The Capitals had only a nominal offense and seemed to be suffering from some rare disease that you see on House that disables your ability to pass the puck. Meanwhile, the Senators were smothering and aggressive and a pretty darn hockey team. Don’t wanna see them in the first round playoffs– knock on Joel Rechlicz’s stick.

Senators beat Caps 3-1.

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Typical Ottawa: Sens beat Caps 3-2

Sean-Kilpatrick-backstrom

Photo credit: Sean Kilpatrick

The Washington Capitals started something with their first win on Sunday and sought to keep that going against the Ottawa Senators. The Caps brought a sense of coherence and confidence to their game that we haven’t seen in a long time, but the game’s back half started sagging and one bad penalty cost them everything.

The Capitals gave Troy Brouwer his second goal of the year, a net-crashing backhand set up by some hardworking hockey from Wojtek Wolksi and the Caps D-corps. Matt Hendricks deflected Jay Beagle’s wide-angle shot into the net to give the Caps a 2-0 lead. The Senators got on the board with a Condra shot deflected off of Jim O’Brien. Milan Michalek tied it up with a tricky backhand off the faceoff that eluded Neuvirth. Former Cap Sergei Gonchar got the game-winning goal on an undeserved power play in the games final minutes.

Sens beat Caps 3-2.

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Sens beat Caps 5-2, Ovechkin on the Shelf

There’s not much to say, really. The Washington Capitals got their asses kicked thoroughly by the Ottawa Senators.

Erik Karlsson went five-hole on Tomas Vokou to make it 1-0, and Milan Michalek beat Dennis Wideman to make it 2-0.  Number three was Michalek again, who tipped a power play shot to make it 3-0. On another power play, Chris Phillips made it 4-0.

The Caps got serious in the third. John Carlson broke the shutout, and Matty Perreault deflected in a goal off his pretty French Canadian face. But Nick Foligno secured the empty netter. Sens beat Caps 5-2.

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Ottawa Senators Pregame: The Post Apocalypse

Kathy Kmonicek

Here’s Doug Johnson of Puck Buddys with your pregame report. Follow @PuckBuddys.

The Pregame: Well, hello you! Pollyanna Sunshine, reporting for duty! And here’s my colleague, Peppy Miller! Rah Team!

OK, glum-dums. Tides have a way of turning. Or so Barbara Streisand tells me. Sure, watching the Capitals this season has been exactly like watching the tides rush in and out, depositing a fresh crop of flotsam and hope on the shore at high tide before sucking it all back out to sea, leaving behind dead jellyfish and despair. But…

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Caps beat Sens 5-3, Can We Play Them Every Game?

????? (Photo credit: Jana Chytilova)

The Washington Capitals’ only win under Coach Hunter came from the Ottawa Senators, whom they met again on Wednesday. It was their second meeting in a week, and it was freaking terrific.

Jeff Halpern recovered Dennis Wideman’s rebound to make it 1-0. With Vokoun and Erskine bobbling the puck, Erik Condra took a stab and tied it up.  Nick Foligno combined speed and patience to score just as the power play expired. Brooks Laich set up Nick Backstrom, who roofed the tying goal on the power play. Alex Ovechkin looped around the Ottawa net, suckered his defender, and loosed the go-ahead goal. Troy Brouwer piled on 15 seconds later with his Gordie Howe Hat Trick goal. Milan Michalek needed like 5 milliseconds to score on a late-game power play. John Carlson sniped the empty netter. Caps beat Sens 5-3.

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