Photo illustration by Ian Oland.

Guess what tomorrow is? That’s right! Canada Day!

It also happens to be NHL Free Agency, the wildest and kookiest hockey day of the year. The Capitals aren’t expected to make any world-shaking moves this year, but you never know. The spirit of capitalism can possess even the most level-headed of GMs and make them act like crazy people, so stay tuned here tomorrow while we update you on what’s going down. The Caps have a few holes to fill, a few free agents who will find new homes — and who knows, maybe McPhee will trade Backstrom for Jeff Skinner or something, and we’ll all have to drink ourselves into oblivion.

Anything is possible! But luckily, not everything is likely, so follow us below the jump for your Guide to Free Agency 2012.

How much cap space do the Caps have?

from capgeek.com

The Caps have $20,805,428 to spend this offseason, but they also have a good part of their own roster to re-sign. Expect most of the unrestricted free agents to walk; expect most of the restricted free agents to sign. The Caps have made qualifying offers to Jay Beagle, Mathieu Perreault, Mike Green, and John Carlson, and though Perreault and Green may warrant some thought, they will likely be signed.

Once the Capitals have taken care of their own free agents, expect them to have anywhere from $10-15 M to spend. With that, they could buy this beautiful home in McLean, Virginia! Alternately, they could sign some hockey players.

Who is likely leaving?

Photo credit: Clydeorama

Mike Knuble:  Shut up. We’re not crying, it’s raining on our faces.

Jeff Halpern:  We bear no ill feelings for the former Caps captain as he gets set to leave Washington. Quite the opposite, in fact, Halpern filled the role that he was brought in to fill admirably, and was good-natured about adversity when things weren’t going his way. Jay Beagle seems set to step into his shoes, but we have no issues recommending Halpern’s services to a good home. Four stars, would acquire again.

Dennis Wideman:  Already traded and signed with the Calgary Flames, to a 5-year, $5.25 M/year contract with a no-movement clause. Well okay. You do whatever you feel is good, Calgary.

Where will Semin go?

Photo credit: Greg Flume

Sadly, probably not here. For the first time in his NHL career, Semin will explore the possibility of signing with a team other than the Washington Capitals, maybe even in the KHL. We love him, but that’s why we’re letting him go. We heard that in a country song one time.

What are the Caps’ needs?

Photo credit: Kathy Kmonicek

The Caps have gone a long way towards replacing Semin’s production with the acquisition of Mike Ribeiro, who scores 20 goals like clockwork and will be a capable 2C. However, as far as positional depth goes, we still have big hole on wing that will need to be filled. There aren’t many top-six quality wingers on the free agency market, and the Caps probably won’t be in on any of the big names. Nonetheless, here’s who’s available.

P.A. Parenteau: The 29-year-old winger is a relative unknown, which is a side effect of playing with the New York Islanders. Caps fans should know him, however, as the pain in the neck who seemed to score against us at every opportunity.  We recognize this as the cry for help that it is, and would be happy to rescue him from Long Island Purgatory if the price is right.

Ray Whitney:  Another underrated winger playing some of the best hockey of his life at the age of 40. The Caps haven’t been too kind to their senior citizens in recent years, but maybe new coach Adam Oates can tempt a fellow playmaker into our ranks. Of course, the rumor is that he wants to go back to Carolina where he still owns a home — which leads us to wonder, why does everyone always want to go to Carolina? Do they know something we don’t? Is it the weather, what is it?

Dustin Penner:  Penner hasn’t played up to expectations for awhile now, but this last season with the L.A. Kings was a disaster, with the left winger scoring only seven goals in 65 games, not to mention his unfortunate run-in with a stack of pancakes. Still, L.A. fans weren’t complaining when he scored the OT goal to send the Kings to the Stanley Cup Finals. He can’t hear you, he’s got his two Stanley Cup Rings plugging his ears.

What about defense?

Photo credit: Jim McIsaac

Dmitry Orlov stepped up as a surprisingly NHL-ready defenseman last year, which means we have one less hole to fill, but with with Dennis Wideman’s absence the Caps are in need of one more solid D.

Jason Garrisson: Garrison is coming off a career year with the Panthers, scoring 16 goals and 33 points as a defenseman. He’s recently been credited as a player who “does everything Wideman does and more”, a power play quarterback who can actually defend as well. A defenseman who can defend? Sign us up!

Matt Carle: The Caps would do well to stay away from this one. Wideman’s signing made the market for an offensive defenseman look awfully scary, and there will be many teams who will be interested in the former Flyer’s services. That said, he’s a heck of a player, and we wouldn’t be upset about acquiring him as long as we didn’t have to sell any limbs to do it.

Bryan Allen: A much more reasonable option. Canes’ GM Jim Rutherford made Allen an offer, but Allen wasn’t interested, choosing to go to free agency instead. Allen won’t get the kind of paydays that some of his more offensive counterparts will, a defensive defenseman who logs tons of minutes and regularly kills penalties, who also led the Canes with 188 blocked shots. That sounds fine by us.

Who should the Caps avoid like the plague?

Jaromir Jagr: NOPE.

Martin Brodeur:  Brodeur is a legend, and one of the best who ever played. He can go be a legend somewhere else, we prefer hot-blooded up-and-coming goalies to elder statesmen.

Andrei Kostitsyn: Unless we plan on trading a problem for a problem, avoid like the plague. Kostitsyn is a poor man’s Alex Semin with bonus coaching issues and mob connections. Nope.

Wishful thinking

Zach Parise: Regular 30-goal scorer Parise is a prize in a shallow field, and we estimate he will sign a 20-year deal for 500 gold bricks a year. It’s unlikely that the Caps will make a play for Parise — in fact, the most likely suitors seems to be the Minnesota Wild and the Pittsburgh Penguins, so we should probably be preparing ourselves to hate his guts instead.

Don’t do it, Zach. Make good choices.

Bobby Ryan:  Now this one is a little more likely. Once Parise finds a home, Ryan will be the next biggest prize on the market, and one that the Caps are a little more likely to take a shot at. He’s one of the best deals in the league when it comes to salary versus production, having scored at least 30 goals for the last four season at a cap hit of $5.1 million. We’ve love to see him in a Capitals uniform, but the asking price is still steep. Put in a good word for us, Bruce?

Ryan Suter: What Zach Parise is to the forward market, Suter is to the defenseman market. In the Caps’ case, that means he’s an elaborate distraction meant to draw all eyes and offers so we can quietly slip in and talk to the others. We’ve got little to no chance at landing him. We will probably survive.

Shane Doan:  Doan bleeds Coyotes red and it would be tough to pry him out of Phoenix, but July 1st has rolled around and he is still unsigned. This guy plays like a prototype for a Canadian supersoldier, tough, gritty, productive, and would be a dream in the Caps’ lineup. Has he had enough of the constant ownership issues? Is he looking to go to a contender? Do we ask the same leading questions about Shane Doan every year?

Don’t expect too much of a splash tomorrow. George McPhee has never been inclined to throw money around in free agency, because he’s not stupid because he prefers to build through the draft and through trade instead. But a serious rebuild of the core has been threatening for some time now, and perhaps this is the year that core finally splits up.

At least one of the former Young Guns seems set to leave town tomorrow. Will it be more than one? Will we be shocked and angry, or underwhelmed? Will our favorite players still be in Caps red at the end of the day? We’ll have to wait and see.

Photo credit: Mike Stobe

After ripping up Carolina like (forgive us) a hurricane, the Caps hopped on plane and flew on up to the Island to take on Tavares & co. The Isles were looking to break a six game losing streak and it didn’t start well for them — it ended differently.

This picture isn't photoshopped. This really happened. (Photo credit: Mike Stobe)

Joel Ward opened the scoring 5:24 into the game when he batted the rebound from John Carlson’s point blast out of the air, did a fancy-dancy 180º spin and fired the puck top shelf on Rick DiPeitro. Later in the period, skating four-on-four, Alex Ovechkin took a twirl behind the net, dished it off to Nicky Backstrom, before one-time’ing number 19′s feed into the back of the net at light-speed.

Just under two minutes into the second, however, the Isles got one back when Frans Nielsen scooped up a big rebound and potted it five-hole on Tomas Vokoun. I’m not saying it was a weak goal, just that it was as soft as my ferrets (they’re really soft, just to make sure we’re totally clear here). Then, in the waning minutes of the frame, Brian Rolston got in on the action with — stop us if you’ve heard this before — a five-hole cheapy on Tomas. The man must be upset Neuvy got a bobblehead today and not him.

The third period… well, it wasn’t pretty for Washington. Six minutes in, the Islanders took their first lead of the night when Matt Martin flipped in the rebound on the backhand while falling over. Graceful. Brooks Laich, however, doesn’t like (it took all our strength not to spell that differently) losing and three minutes later he rifled a wrister top-shelf on the power-play. All tied up. And, for a while, it looked like we might be getting some O.T., but with 106 ticks left on the clock, P.A. Parenteau tapped in — wait for it — the rebound off Milan Jurcina’s shot that squeezed through — wait for it again — Vokoun’s five-hole. Forty-five seconds later John Tavares sealed the deal with the empty-netter. Sigh. Isles down Caps, 5-3.

• So I had it all planned out. My first bullet was going to say I’m not sure which is worse: the Islanders or their non-existent fans. But then Brian Rolston scored in the second period and CSN panned to these adorable little boogers. Ugh. Not helping, guys! Then after Martin scored in the third period, Locker said “it sounds like an Isles playoff game during the eighties in here.” Eff! Okay, forget it.

• Tonight marks the first time the Islanders have beat the Capitals in regulation since Oct. 18, 2007. Ugh.
• Tomas Vokoun was spectacular in the opening period, turning away 11 Islanders shots and giving a tired Caps team a legitimate shot at winning. Then the second and third periods happened and the wheels came completely off the Vokeswagen. On Nielsen’s goal, the defense sagged meekly, but it was Vokoun who gave up a huge rebound and then failed to get his stick down on the backhander that went in. On Rolston’s goal, Tomas once again failed to get his goalie stick in proper position to make an easy save. Finally, on Parenteau’s game-winner, he couldn’t hold onto Milan Jurcina’s shot from the point. Like my faucet in college, Tomas was real leaky. With tonight’s loss, he still holds the bizarre distinction of never winning at Nassau Coliseum.
• Brooks Laich might have scored the game-tying goal, but it was Alex Ovechkin‘s rump which made it happen. As Ovi crossed in front of the net, DePietro lost sight of the puck which allowed Laich to hit the top corner of the net with a perfectly placed wrist shot. Wait, did I really just type that? Shouldn’t there have been 45 fancy passes and then a slap-shot that misses the net and karooms all the way back into their defensive zone? I guess things HAVE changed from last year. And hey, the rest of Alex Ovechkin also played well tonight. His nifty moves in the offensive zone drew the interference minor on Steve Staios which led to Laich’s salvo. His one-time goal during the first period was also made possible because of some awesome cycling between him and Nick Backstrom. I love how Ovechkin’s finding different ways to score and contribute.
• Speaking of Nick Backstrom, with his two assists tonight, he now has 18 points on the year which is good for third place in the NHL. Talk about a bounce back year.
• Dennis Wideman was a -4. Mathieu Perreault was a -3.
• At one point during the first period, Islanders fans were chanting Al Montoya’s name. There’s no punch line. Islanders fans were chanting Al Montoya’s name. How awful must it be to a fan of this team? If the Capitals could have gotten another goal early in the second period, they could have blown this game wide-open. Instead, we’re stuck here wondering what might have been.

Joe B Suit of the Night

If you were wondering why this recap was more awful than usual, Peter was living it up tonight at our expense. (Really? You’re going to diss us for a 10 year high school reunion? I know your friends, Peter. I went to Frederick High too. There’s no way they’re cooler than a Saturday night Islanders game. Oh wait, reading Jane Eyre sober is cooler than writing about a Saturday night Islanders game.) No worries though, he’ll be back Tuesday when the Stars come to town.

The Capitals really need to reflect after this one. Yes, it’s only their third loss of the year, but this is a bad one. The team simply stopped playing in the second period and never was able to regain momentum after that. How much should we blame Boudreau for screwing with the lines and scratching Cody Eakin, a day after scoring his first NHL goal? You tell us in the comments below.

Additional words by Chris Gordon (everything from the bullets up; you know, the parts that don’t require you to know anything).