Doug Johnson of Puck Buddys sells his sword to Russian Machine. @PuckBuddys wants your tweet.

The Pre Game: “And here’s my theory of punctuation. At the end of every sentence there should be a tiny clock that shows you how long it took you to write that sentence.” – Laurie Anderson.

Watching Capitals games is becoming an existential exercise, based on the obscene, neutered device we call the clock. As in: Caps score first by the clock: we lose. Caps trail in the second by the clock: we win. Watch the game, watch the clock; we score first, we lose last.

Call me crazy. Call me late for dinner, but consarnit, the Caps are just not behaving by the clock. Headline from Saturday: Caps Lose, Broadside of Barn Safe! What went wrong? Coach Juggles’ shoot-out changes? The Caps total lacking D?  #BadSasha? #EvilSasha? #HailSatanSasha?

Here’s the thing: Caps, every time you take a lead and blow it, you smoke a tiny bit of our time. Think about that: every game you go forward at the first, only to surrender… you surrender a few minutes of our lives.  The clock is ticking. What will you do with it?

The Puck Drop

Blurf, so here we have to smile and pretend we’re all happy to be in Nashville, America’s mildewed trashcan. Really? You ever look around you while you’re there? Is it Nashville, or Knoxville (home to Wigsphere)? Stickville, Twigville or Branchville? Really Mr. Gore, don’t even try it on me; I’ve toured around Tennessee and found it to be exactly as it seems: stones, swine, and mines. And the occasional Democrat.

So before we start on Smashville, here comes this dump from the NYPost, alleging that the Capitals aren’t as forthcoming on merch as the players union would have. Seriously: this is something GMGM needs to address (or remedy on QVC).

What Makes Them Hot

#1: First line: Colin Wilson (3G-6A-9P), Craig Smith (7G-7A-14P), and Patric Hornqvist (7G-4A-11P). Remember those names. Between them, these three have been steering the Preds to all the victories they can eke out. They’re almost too good for us to note…except for the dreamy Craig Smith.

Mike Fisher

#2: Not line: Line 2 with Sergei Kostitstyn (3G-5A-8P), Mike Fisher (2G-2A-Underwood), and Someone has all but vanished (someone whistlin’ too much country music?) leaving the third line with little more than Tootoo. NoNoo, Jordin Tootoo (0G-3A-3P). As in: fill in your own lame joke.

#3: Last line.  Pekka Rinne (2.28 GAA), long mocked in the NHL, is proving his worth and then some. At .929%, we would bet with this Finn anytime.

What Makes Them Not

Jordin Tootoo

#1: Us: Caps, here you are. You know you’re a better team than the Preds. You know you can outskate just about anyone, including Smith. You know you want vengeance after the Devils. You are pumped. You are ready. Seriously: stop looking at the clock and just win. Close the damn deal.

#2: Them: The Preds are averaging 25.8 shots per game, the mark of a middling team, but they’re at 33.1 shots against, more than all teams but the Dallas Stars and Florida Panthers. Neither of which we choose to acknowledge.

#3 :It Coach Boudreau, you don’t seem to be channeling into your spirit wingding that grants you victory lately. You’re moving, juggling, shifting…what are you doing? Seriously: grip yourself, recognize who you have, and stop getting in your way and theirs. Short bench, long bench, bag skates, optional skates, accountability, or Antiestablishmentarianism – whatevs, you have world-class hockey players. Make it work.

The OT

Sergei Kostitsyn

We’re not expecting great things in this game. Cut our legs and serve ‘em up soup! Serious, we have three road games ahead, and we anticipate spotty play with Greenie out, the Hammer hurting, and Boudreau coming back from Hershey empty-handed.

A loss against the Predators wouldn’t surprise us; the first road game is rarely a win, but more a learn. The slow pace of the October schedule has given way to a very busy November. It seems like we have games almost every other day through Thanksgiving. What time is it? It’s sack grab o’clock.

Existential Time Out

As Kierkegaard said, this world can only be understood if lived backward. And to demonstrate that, look for Peter’s game recap in a mere moments after the final horn. It’s probably already written.

Anze Kopitar celebrates a goal last year against the Blackhawks. (Photo credit: Harry How)

Editor’s note: You can win a 1-year subscription to ESPN Insider and a $25 gift certificate to Front Page VA by guessing Neil’s first two draft picks tonight. Check out the details on our Facebook page.

As part of ESPN.com’s NHL family, I was invited to participate in their fantasy hockey draft this past Tuesday. Just me and guys like Craig Custance, John Buccigross, and Scott Cullen.

No pressure.

Victoria Matiash has already given a bird’s eye view of the draft, but I thought I would run through my thought process on various picks and give you some ideas for your fantasy draft. Plus, you can see how I do for the season because we are making the results public.

Here were the ground rules for the draft:

Participants included, in original order, Craig Custance, Tristan Cockcroft, Tim Kavanagh, John Buccigross, Pierre Becquey, Michael Hume, Victoria Matiash, Neil Greenberg, Sean Allen and Scott Cullen. Categories include goals, assists, power-play points, plus/minus, penalty minutes, shots on goal and average time on ice for skaters and wins, save percentage and goals-against average for goaltenders. Slots to fill include nine forwards, five defensemen, one “utility” skater, two goaltenders and a five-man bench.

My philosophy was simple: grab young, healthy, talented players with upside. Let others worry if Patrick Kane would be healthy or if Sergei Kostitsyn can once again score 20 goals on less than 100 shots.

I had the eight pick. With my editor Mike Hume drafting before me (he knows which players I fancy) and Cullen having back-to-back picks behind me I knew I had to make strategic decisions.

Not surprisingly, Alex Ovechkin, Steven Stamkos, and Daniel Sedin went in the first three picks. Hume knows I think Corey Perry was no fluke, so the chances of him dropping to me were nil. That left me with Anze Kopitar (who I think will contend for the Art Ross) or Henrik Lundqvist as my first pick. Luckily for me, I got both of them.

My third choice was also an easy one: Duncan Keith. His boxcar stats may have fallen, but he is as fundamentally sound as he has ever been, and he remains my preseason favorite for another Norris-caliber performance.

My next pick caused some raised eyebrows:

Also noteworthy was Greenberg’s choice of Jeff Skinner ahead of Eric Staal. Ranked higher in ESPN.com’s projections, the captain of the Carolina Hurricanes is expected to put up superior numbers across the board. But obviously, Greenberg preferred to put his fantasy faith in the reigning Calder Trophy winner.

Fantasy hockey is about looking forward. While there is no doubt Eric Staal is a 70-point player, Jeff Skinner is (conservatively) a 60-point player who could put up over 70 points next year. So I got a player who may put up five points less or 10-15 points more than Eric Staal. In a rotisserie league with hockey geniuses it was worth the gamble, in my opinion.

I struggled with my fifth pick a little. I had Phil Kessel, John Tavares, and Loui Eriksson queued up but pulled the trigger on Kessel, thinking that one or both of the others would be there for me on my next picks.

I was right about Loui Eriksson, who I took with my sixth pick, but not Tavares, who went three picks before me in round seven.

With Tavares and Matt Duchene off the board, both of whom I think can post 30 goals in 2011-12, I decided to shore up my goaltending and took Jimmy Howard.

A quick note on goaltenders: I only considered drafting Henrik Lundqvist, Pekka Rinne, Cam Ward, Jimmy Howard, or Corey Crawford. Why? Too long to explain here, but I did some analysis on when goaltenders have their breakout season based on age and experience and these five fit the bill. I did the same thing last year and had only two goaltenders on my list: Pekka Rinne and Cam Ward.

In round eight I took Joe Pavelski, which was a solid pick there and then my first miscalculation of the draft came at the hands of Scott Cullen.

I feel Jamie Benn is this year’s sleeper. I think he has 30-goal potential and could end up surprising many people. With my ninth pick I took Evander Kane, thinking Benn would slip past another four picks. Nope.

Cullen: “I’ve been touting Jamie Benn going back to the second half of last year, when his ice time went up dramatically; he’s been my preferred pick as a breakthrough/sleeper forward since. So, by the ninth round, when I had already addressed all my positions to some degree, it felt right to take a young player that has a chance at 70 points. “

If you have a chance to pick up Benn in your league, do it.

Right now. I’ll wait.

It will be him and Eriksson that pick up the slack left by Brad Richard’s departure, not Michael Ryder. In the draft room Hume asked how many of Benn’s goals the last two years came via a Brad Richards primary assist. One. And Richards had only one secondary assist the year before that. Benn is the real deal.

I took Alex Pietrangelo after I misjudged the “sleepiness” of Benn. The D corps looked to be thinning after Dion Phaneuf and James Wisniewski were taken off the board, so I grabbed Pietrangelo. “Good for 45 points, I think he’s a solid fantasy pick.”

Next picks were unremarkable, but ones I believe have some big upside: Erik Karlsson, Tyler Ennis, Patric Hornqvist, Tyler Kennedy, Mikael Backlund, Patrik Berglund, Jakub Voracek and Nathan Gerbe.

I did have two moments of weakness where I got homesick and drafted Dennis Wideman (15th round) and Brooks Laich (20th round).

So there you have it. Be sure to check out how I am doing from time to time. Also, if you would have drafted differently or just want to comment on the draft in general, let us know in the comments.