Gordon Opens the Floodgates! Caps Beat Habs 5-1.


Ovechkin hails his Canadiens fans after his second-period goal (AP Photo/The Canadian Press,Ryan Remiorz)

Finally, the Washingon Capitals finish a game in sixty minutes. But tonight’s soaring victory over the Montreal Canadiens nearly wasn’t such. Without Boyd Gordon’s brilliant short-handed goal early in the second period, the Caps might not have detonated the goalsplosion that followed.

Relying mostly on that 20 minute score buffet, the Caps easily bested the Nads 5-1.  Caps take the series lead 2-1.  Natch.

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Following Ovie’s first goal, the fourth of the game, Nicklas Backstrom cradled Alex Ovechkin by the face and showed him how to celebrate the French way. Enjoy.


Credit: Your boy Neil Greenberg

UPDATE: Bonus video from @ClancyKolzig!  Thanks!

#beardpact Day 5: Welcome to the Work Week


It’s game day, Caps soldiers!  We’re only a few minutes from puck drop, so we’ll keep this quick.

I’ve got a wedding on Friday, but I ain’t shaving.  I’ve gotta grow this facial hair because I know that John Carlson and Nick Backstrom cannot.   Way up in frozen Canadia, I feel certain that the Capitals know we’re at home supporting them.  And by supporting, I mean we look like idiots.

Hey, how are the RMNB souljahz?

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Coach: Please Start Jose Theodore on Monday


Semyon Varlamov takes over for Jose Theodore (Photo by Bruce Bennett/Getty Images)

In his last appearance in net, Jose Theodore allowed two goals on two shots and was subsequently given the hook. Russian boy wonder Semyon Varlamov stepped up and did an acceptable job (.863) in a game fraught with defensive missteps. But now that the Washington Capitals have traveled to the Canadiens’ home territory of Montreal, who should start in net?

Answer: Jose friggin’ Theodore

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#beardpact Days 3 and 4: Not Unlike a Wool Sweater


Whew!  How ’bout that game last night?  The Washington Capitals beat the Montreal Canadiens in a plum zinger of a hockey game.  John Carlson and Nick Backstrom summoned some playoff heroics for us, but there’s a problem: they’re both clean-shaven.  Do they know something we don’t?

Just between you and me, RMNB might have taken the celebration too far.  The word hangover seems understated; it’s more like an aftermath.  Compounding the problem, Caps Nation is looking increasingly more haggard.  Scanning the #beardpact channel, I’m seeing a broad spectrum of growth.  Before we get to the parade of stubble, let’s check in with the Russian Machinists.

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Ovechkin celebrates during Nick Backstrom's hat trick effort in playoff win over Montreal Canadiens

[Ed. note – Our apologies, but tonight’s game mandates celebration.  We’re going to cut the recap short so that we can celebrate!]

Nick Backstrom scores his first playoff hat trick!

Nicky Backstrom secures his first playoff hat trick

Nearing the end of the second period, the Washington Capitals trailed the Montreal Canadiens 4-1.  But there was still the tiny matter of Nicklas Lars Bäckström.   The blonde swede superstar (who is still waiting on that new contract) made this a historic game all by his damn self.   Sinking his first playoff hat trick, Backy is definitely worthy of the “Nine Million Dollar Man” nom de guerre that Craig Laughlin bestowed upon him.  We’ll be talking about slapshot goal 31 seconds into overtime for months.

Captain America John Carlson scored the tying goal at the tail end of the third period, instantly carving his name into franchise history.  The 20-year old is frankly phenomenal, playing with more consistency than Norris slam-dunk Mike Green.

Also, Alex Ovechkin finally got on the board, tipping in a shot from… JOHN CARLSON.

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#beardpact Day 2: Grumpy People with Itchy Necks


How much did last night suck?  True story:  Peter and Ian had a big fight about writing the game recap.  Peter was too grumpy to write it, and Ian was too grumpy to put up with Peter’s hissy fit.  Today, they exchanged LOLcats and everything seems fine again.  For now.

Is the change of mood due to the Caps’ pathetic overtime loss, or is something more sinister behind it?  Could it be that our nascent facial hair is turning us into hyper-masculine, moody bastards?  The intention of #beardpact was to create levity and togetherness among Caps fans, but it may have gone awry.  Let’s take this time to redouble our efforts.  No change from yesterday: sixteen wins stand between our team and glory.  Within that increment there must be a lot of dudes with itchy necks and annoyed girlfriends/wives/platonic opposite-sex companions.

Let’s check in with the RMNB staff, all of whom could use a hug today.

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#beardpact Day 1: Razors Down, Spirits Up!


Caps Nation begins its parallel march to victory.  Fans across D.C., Virginia, and Maryland, have shaved their last shave until summertime.  Russian Machine is here to solemnly document the personal hell that we put ourselves through in the name of our team.  Here we shall offer moral support and gentle mocking in equal portions.   #beardpact brings fans together.

Let’s begin our daily recap of the RMNB scruff, most of whom started with a fresh shave yesterday.

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RMNB Presents #beardpact

In accordance with no one in particular, Russian Machine Never Breaks proudly presents #beardpact. From Thursday morning until the night Alex Ovechkin hoists the Stanley Cup, we vow not to shave.

That’s stupid. Why?

Beards are the zenith of manliness. First, they are scratchy and unpleasant to womenfolk. Second, they look awesome. Third, if you have something tasty for lunch, you can enjoy the smell all the way until dinnertime.

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NO DUH: Jose Theodore is the Caps’ Playoff Goalie

Via Tarik El-Bashir, Bruce Boudreau has confirmed what we all freakin’ knew: Jose Theodore is our man.

Jose has a  .911% save percentage this season, and sterling numbers across the board since early January.  Jose is a former winner of the Vezina and Hart Trophies, and has simply marvelous facial hair.  Many (i.e. – me) consider Theo the main architect of the Caps’ historic winning streak.  Fun fact:  He also has two assists this year.

Obviously, Jose has a history with Montreal — which is a good thing, because this Stanley Cup Playoffs thing was running a little low on drama.