Sometimes when it’s the summer and there’s no hockey to write about, our hockey blog covers things that are not about hockey. We’ve covered NASCAR, the cowboy monkey rodeo, and Rugrats inspired minor league baseball jerseys. Two Augusts ago, I even blacked out for a minute and wrote a long feature for the Washington Post on Orioles’ pitcher Dylan Bundy.
On Monday, my talented friend Susi, who plays in a volleyball league, was at Baltimore Beach for a game. Then for whatever reason reigning NFL MVP Cam Newton showed up in a white van ready to play with a dozen of his Carolina Panther teammates. That seemed… interesting. I also noticed it was uncovered by other news media, so I wrote about it with Susi’s help. The next night, Newton showed up to play volleyball again. My talented and infinitely more handsome coworker at Visual Data Systems, Brandon Serfass, took humorous video of Newton getting blocked while trying to spike the ball past a girl. I posted his video.
Wednesday at noon, RMNB ended up on SportsCenter for its football-player-playing-volleyball coverage.
Miller Lite, Crispy M&Ms, the AARP.. and now Russian Machine Never Breaks. With tonight’s Sprint Cup Series race at Phoenix International Raceway, we entered the rarefied air of NASCAR sponsors. After a rain delay of nearly seven hours, our boy Ryan Ellis took to the track in his #33 ScienceLogic/RMNB Chevy SS for his debut race in NASCAR’s top series.
As we noted in our profile of him, Ryan is a huge Caps fan, former GMU hockey player, and RMNB reader from Ashburn. Ellis said his goal for the race was to learn and avoid accidents in the penultimate race of the year. He did just that, bringing his car home undamaged in 40th in a hectic race filled with uncertainties and the heat of NASCAR’s playoffs. The race was called due to rain after drivers completed 219 of the scheduled 312 laps. Going forward, Ryan hopes to build on this opportunity to get a full-time ride next year and continue to make Sprint Cup Series starts. Congrats to Ryan on a safe first race! This was one of the coolest things we’ve done as a blog. It was a thrill to share it with him. Let this be a lesson: RMNB readers are awesome!
Photo: Chris Gordon
We’ve been covering Evgeny Kuznetsov for the last five years with unequaled vigor. From the wacky celebrations to the KHL/NHL waffling, Kuznetsov’s been the focus of our website and my personal favorite hockey player even before he crossed the ocean last year. So relaying this next story is wild.
Before game seven on Monday, RMNB’s Chris Gordon was asked at practice through a spokesman where he got his new iPhone case. The case is white and has the RMNB logo on it. The person inquiring was Evgeny Kuznetsov.
Alex Ovechkin scored his 50th goal of the season on Tuesday night. That milestone naturally gave reporters the opportunity to reflect on exactly how great the Capitals captain has been.
Speaking with Michael Jenkins, CSN Washington’s Jill Sorenson (follow her on Twitter here) said it was Ovechkin’s durability over the last nine seasons that has impressed her most.
Basically, Russian machine never breaks.
Check this out.
You’re not gonna be surprised which was RMNB’s most popular story of 2013. Out of almost 1200 posts this year, the one that garnered the most attention was our blow-by-blow recap of the meteor strike in Evgeny Kuznetsov’s hometown of Chelyabinsk, Russia, on Valentine’s Day. It was a weird story, one that we had a peculiar perspective on, and as a result it went viral to a degree I doubt we’ll ever see again.
But we wrote about a lot more than astrophysics this year, so let’s take a real quick stroll in the wayback machine to check out the stories you guys loved the most. This should be fun. See if you can guess what’s in the top five.
RMNB’s new “Hahaha Ice” T-Shirts can be purchased here.
While we dedicate a lot of our time to RMNB, our team slaves away at full-time jobs just like you. Peter is an information architect, I’m a web designer/email marketer, and Fedor is a full-time student in Moscow and a journalist for VOA. Then there’s Igor.
Four score and seven years ago… okay, maybe not that long – but long enough that Scott Stevens was still a Capital and the Soviet Union was still a thing, Igor– fresh out of college– left St. Petersburg and the crumbling empire for America. Within a couple of months after getting off the proverbial boat, Igor landed his first job: an engineering position at the NASA Goddard Space Flight Center.
People don’t understand the true meaning of Halloween. It’s not about collecting candy or doing keg stands at Peter’s house; it’s about scaring the living bejesus out of children. Knowing this, RMNB reader Mandy expertly extched Ovi’s cretinous countrenance into a pumpkin, and we couldn’t be prouder. There’s nothing scarier than an angry, 235 lbs. Russian with fiery eyes and the will to break you.
We spent a bunch of pixels bragging about all the cool stuff we did in the last year. That’s cool, ’cause we really are proud. But we’re totally rank amateurs. False rumors, worse typing, and bad luck charms; that’s just us. We’ve surpassed our peers by a long stretch of internet miles when it comes to screwing up.
After looking at all this, I can’t blame Mike Green for blocking us on Twitter. We’re a wandering band of fools and idiots, sauntering into town, breaking everything we touch and offending the locals. At this point, that you’re still reading this post speaks more to your failings than ours. You really should know better.
If you have any other screw-ups we should know about, use the comments to have your voice heard. Tomorrow, we’ll list our resolutions for next year. We promise to do better, people.
Russian Machine Never Breaks is not associated with the Washington Capitals; Monumental Sports, the NHL, or its properties. Not even a little bit.
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