Peter said it best a few weeks ago. RMNB has zero interest in covering the actual lockout. “Financial negotiations (and their public face) are all about posturing, tedium, and equivocation,” he said. “Whereas our principal interest in hockey has always been scoar, moar, and goals.” We have gone to great lengths to cover hockey and try to make things fun as possible while patiently waiting for the NHL to end the madness.
But now that Washington Capitals players are bickering with each other through the media, we feel compelled.
Roman Hamrlik was good for two things this season: “Hamr”-related puns, and being used as a comparison point to demonstrate how young or old other people are, such as Dmitry Orlov (three years old when Hamrlik’s career began!) or Marc Bergevin (played hockey with Hamrlik!).
There’s one more year remaining on Hamrlik’s contract with the Caps, which means there’s one more year for the Caps game entertainment crew to make him an MC Hamr montage. They are officially on the clock.
Get your time machines. We’ve got to go tell the Caps from November to play exactly like this right here.
Alex Semin collected a rebound in front of the net and Alex Semin Sniped™ the first goal past Tim Thomas. Matt Hendricks got right into the crease and made it 2-0 within 25 seconds. Milan Lucic went five-hole on Vokoun to get the Bruins back in it. Marchand capitalized on an Orlov giveaway to tie the game. League MVP Jay Beagle finished off a sparkly pass from Semin. Brooks Laich scored on the PP–yes, you read that right, he scored on the PP. Boychuk scored with three minutes to go to make it a little uncomfortable. Caps beat Bruins, 4-3.
George McPhee has not seen a season this tumultuous since the events that led up to the acquisition of Alex Ovechkin back in 2004. He’s dismissed a coach and watched his team fall from the top of the standings to a precarious spot on the proverbial bubble.
Now, as the Washington Capitals prepare for one last playoffs push, McPhee has the challenge of managing assets at all stages of their careers. That includes 37-year-old Roman Hamrlik, who was signed over the offseason to a two-year, $7 million deal, and 39-year old Mike Knuble, who will be an unrestricted free agent at season’s end — both of whom have been scratched from recent games.
McPhee’s attitude towards his veteran players, however, is anything but cynical. In his 14 years as general manager of the Capitals, McPhee, whose nickname is The Undertaker, has revealed something of a softer side.
On February 13, 2012, In Game Recap, By Ana Hansen
This goal bounced off Holtby’s helmet and rolled down his back. It was that kind of night. (Photo credit: Greg Flume)
This game actually started out all right, but if you’ve seen the Caps play the Sharks lately, you knew that it could only get bad somehow. What is it with those guys, seriously, every time. Did the Caps all watch “Jaws” too many times as children, or what?
Joe Pavelski opened the scoring with a weirdo bounce on a harmless shot from Dan Boyle that black magicked itself over Braden Holtby’s shoulder. He put a second goal on the board when the Caps let the entire Sharks roster camp out in front of the net, because that’s a really good way to get a goal scored against you. Then the puck rolled down Holtby’s back to the goal line for Patrick Marleau to tap it in. Dmitry Orlov scored with one of those Dmitry Orlov blasts from the point with half a second left to go in the second. Brent Burns pinballed a Joe Thornton shot behind Holtby. Marleau scored the third Sharks PPG of the night to make it 5-1. Roman Hamrlik backhanded one past Greiss, which we have to admit we didn’t really see coming. Jeff Schultz upped the weirdness by scoring from the blueline to cut the deficit to two. Sharks beat Caps, 5-3.
So much almost. (Photo credit: Phelan M. Ebenhack)
Whew, what a relief that the All-Star Weekend is over! We’re all so sick of watching haphazard, sloppy, firewagon hockey that turns over pucks and gives up chances every few seconds, it’s such a relief to get back to the responsible, disciplined team we all missed so much.
Hahaha! Let’s all have a good laugh at that one for a minute, and then to the recap. I am pleased to inform you that the curse of my recaps was broken tonight. Actual goals were scored.
Matt Hendricks opened the scoring with the ol’ Brooks-Laich-diving-poke-check-pass, fan-on-the-initial-and-then-wildly-backhand-it move. Classic. Teddy Purcell scored two shifts later on a feed from Steve Downie, who mysteriously hadn’t had his face punched in yet at this point. All Martin St. Louis had to do was skate past Hamrlik lying face-down on the ice to make it 2-1. Nate Thompson banged one in on a good cycle from Tampa in front of the net. Mathieu Perreault was in the right place at the right time to take credit for a hilarious own goal off Thompson’s stick. Good pressure from Laich forced a puck loose for Troy Brouwer, who put it in the back of the net. The game went to overtime, and Steven Stamkos scored on a defensive breakdown from John Carlson. Caps lose, 4-3.
On December 26, 2011, In Game Recap, By Peter Hassett
Alex Ovechkin appeals to the ref. (Photo credit: Bill Wippert)
The Washington Capitals might have had too much figgy pudding, as their post-Christmas match-up with the Buffalo Sabres was one of their ugliest of the season. Maybe the worst.
Exactly how bad was it? So bad that we’re exercising The Option. The option is an obscure RMNB bylaw that allows us to not really write about a game because it was so wretched our primitive language cannot adequately describe it.
On November 29, 2011, In Game Recap, By Peter Hassett
Photo credit: Nick Wass
Dale Hunter hoped to lead the Washington Capitals to victory in his first game as head coach. He’d have to go through Jaroslav Halak to get there, but more importantly he’d have to get a flagging Capitals offense moving.
Alex Ovechkin threaded the needle, setting up Nick Backstrom to record the first goal of the game. T.J. Oshie cleaned up a Alex Steen’s slapshot to tie the score at 1-1. Matt D’Agostini caught a lucky bounce and wrapped it around to give St. Louis the lead. Despite a late-game flurry, it ended like that. Blues beat Caps 2-1.
On November 26, 2011, In Game Recap, By Peter Hassett
Zack Kassian beats Tomas Vokoun. (Photo credit: Dave Sandford)
The Washington Capitals hopped on up to Buffalo, intending to shake off last night’s bad beat by whipping the Sabres. The injury-wracked Buffalo team missed a big chunk of its lineup, but they did not miss many scoring chances. And the Caps were just plain awful.
Luke Adam caught an easy bounce after Dennis Wideman’s failed clearing attempt. Jason Pominville scored his ninth of the year when Tomas Vokoun couldn’t find the puck. Jason Chimera drew a penalty shot and fired it so hard it disintegrated in the net. The very next shift– just half a minute later, toddler Zack Kassian recorded his first NHL goal– making it 3-1. Luke Adam opened the third period with a mean snapshot. Jochen Hecht beat Mathieu Perreault to record a shorthanded goal and finalize it. Sabres beat Caps 5-1.
On November 11, 2011, In Game Recap, By Peter Hassett
(Photo credit: Mitchell Layton from like 3 years ago)
Live from Verizon Center… it’s Saturday night! The Washington Capitals bested the New Jersey Devils in hostile territory on Friday, so they invited the conquered down to Chinatown for another round. Mike Green, injured in the first duel, did not dress, replaced by the Giraffe Jeff Schultz. Brooks Laich played defense, and Alex Semin returned to action, where he immediately took an offensive zone penalty.
Troy Brouwer stole the puck and beat Hedberg for the night’s first goal. Carlson did his 70-footer thing, and a screening Chimera tipped it in to make it 2-0. Petr Sykora scored on a set play off the face off to end the shutout. Ryan Carter got a deflection to tie it up. From there we entered the shoot out, where way more stuff happened than I can record here. Suffice it to say: Devils beat Caps 3-2 via shoot out.