Russian Machine Never Breaks » Sacrificing Cows http://www.russianmachineneverbreaks.com A cheerfully demented Washington Capitals site with a healthy fixation on Alex Ovechkin and his Russian bros. CRASH THE NET! Thu, 23 May 2013 15:38:46 +0000 en-US hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.5.1 After Horrible Start, Washington Capitals Fans Sacrifice Rubber Cow and Goat to Hockey Gods http://www.russianmachineneverbreaks.com/2013/02/09/after-horrible-start-washington-capitals-fans-sacrifice-rubber-cow-and-goat-to-hockey-gods/ http://www.russianmachineneverbreaks.com/2013/02/09/after-horrible-start-washington-capitals-fans-sacrifice-rubber-cow-and-goat-to-hockey-gods/#comments Sat, 09 Feb 2013 17:07:23 +0000 Chris Gordon http://www.russianmachineneverbreaks.com/?p=44017 Cow Sacrifice (9 of 9)

Photo credit: Chris Gordon

As you might have heard, the Caps have lost a few games recently. No one really has good answer for why that’s happened. George McPhee wants the team to take fewer penalties. Jay Beagle wants to sacrifice a cow. Well, Caps fans can only take action on the latter. And they did. In the parking lot of Kettler Capitals Iceplex following the club’s morning skate before Saturday’s game against the Panthers, rubber cows and goats had their noggins chopped off for a good cause. In the vein of a similar (and successful) plea to the heavens when the Nationals were in the dumps, Jenn Rubenstein of Arlington, Virginia led the ceremonial hacking while the Nats’ rubber chicken man Hugh Kaufman, who spearheaded the baseball version, joined in.

“It was blessed by a rabbi,” she said. “I have a friend from college who went on to rabbinical school and she very graciously agreed to bless the sacrificial animals via Twitter.”

“I went to Toys R. Us, I went to pet stores,” Rubenstein added. “I could find nothing that was remotely like a goat. Luckily my neighbor happens to have an Amazon Prime subscription so she graciously agreed to do the actual ordering. We got it rush delivery overnight. Both a rubber goat and a rubber cow. They were the only animals of each of those that I could find. They are actually technically dog toys. I did some minor surgery to remove the stuffing from inside because I figured it would be too hard to cut through otherwise.”

So does this brilliant idea mean the Caps headed for a Stanley Cup now? Rubenstein wouldn’t go that far.

“Maybe this is just the nudge they need to get over the hump,” she said. “I don’t know if I need to be on record claiming that. I think there’s still plenty of time to make it a good season.”

Cow Sacrifice (1 of 9)

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Cow Sacrifice (8 of 9)

]]> http://www.russianmachineneverbreaks.com/2013/02/09/after-horrible-start-washington-capitals-fans-sacrifice-rubber-cow-and-goat-to-hockey-gods/feed/ 16 Jay Beagle Wants to Sacrifice a Cow http://www.russianmachineneverbreaks.com/2013/02/06/jay-beagle-wants-to-sacrifice-a-cow/ http://www.russianmachineneverbreaks.com/2013/02/06/jay-beagle-wants-to-sacrifice-a-cow/#comments Wed, 06 Feb 2013 17:56:17 +0000 Ian Oland http://www.russianmachineneverbreaks.com/?p=43914 Run cow, run!

The Caps are playing so bad, sacrificing a goat isn’t even a strong enough metaphor anymore.

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