By this point you know the drill: Doug. Puck Buddys. @PuckBuddys. Read their Zach story; it’s incredible.

The Pre-Game:

“If you get down and quarrel everyday, you’re saying prayers to the devil, I say.” -  Bob Marley, 1977.

The Caps, I sense (with my wee fey antennae) are quarreling with themselves. And it’s not good.

Last season we saw a command from on high to shift the squad to a different balance of offense/defense play on ice, and the turmoil that resulted. That was Bruce. This is Dale. And now one begins to sense a new struggle to shift the team’s fight/play ratio. A struggle I again – one of the PuckBuddys who anticipated this Friday’s FBI Freakout with Anonymous, but we’re not bringing that up – fear is not going to go well. (#AnonOps knows to kiss our ass; we dare you to mess with the Russian hockey mafia.) (haha Ian, good luck!)

Are the Caps a quarrelin’, fightin’ team? Depends what sort of fight. By measure of comebacks from 1st period losses, we’re champs. By measure of fists on faces, we rank lower in the bottom 50% of the NHL. At the top of that list is Boston; at the bottom is Detroit. I know which team I’d rather be. Which fight I’d rather have. The Caps now face the same question: what, exactly, kind of team are we?

The Puck Drop

“In the abundance of water, the fool is thirsty.” Bob Marley, 1976.

Fighting, skating, blocking shots and, most important, playing all-out: none of these exclude a pugnacious play. But look, people; everything is budget. You have X minutes of hard back-check play; it’s going to come out of a certain bank account. Other players on the ice: maybe they’re defense czars and can turn lead into gold. But no alchemist can got off scott-free.

PK Subban (Photo credit: Greg Fiume)

The point: I sense the Capitals have the raw minerals to mine and forge a most mighty play…but that is a total team effort. Nicky, Greenie – and we’re sorry to say again or perhaps forever, Poti – they’re out. Key holes on O and D. But still: we’ve seen O and D step up heartily of late. With a focused play, we can move pucks into their blue zone and on net. Easy said. But some physical things are easy done, if you just share the same focus.

We have the deep pool of talent to weld this team together. It’s not just coming from Lords-On-High decries, or coaching staff moods. If you’re going to forge a sword, you begin with your ingredients. Ours

Washington Capitals: please consider your ingredients. You have an abundance of quality; a deep pool of quality. Our ingredients aren’t Hunter-style fighters (except, um…you know who)  because our ore is tempered different; more sizzle than slash.  Mixed together appropriately, they will slake your thirst, and make a most unbreakable sword. Otherwise…

Hot…Or Not?

“When the race gets hard to run. It means you just can’t take the pace.” - Bob Marley, 1979.

Today we’re not offering the same list of hockey-stat bleaugh you’ve seen and read and regurgitated before. We’ve all seen our previous battle with the Habs, and our last two games of three on the road. No one serious needs reminding of this.

All you need to know about the Habs is that PK Subban is nasty, Scott Gomez‘s last goal is two days away from its birthday, and team is tied for DFL in the East.

It’s this simple. Capitals: no more motivation problems. Replace that with this. “This”, as in the singular view of your coach, becoming the stick you will chase. Chase, catch, and break.  The shot-gun, snipe from the center, audacious play we remember. “That” is the calculated, sterile play that keeps you in your own zone, offering spittle as shots-on-goal, and open invitations to opponents to crash our net. Without “this” you are just a bunch of incredibly talented athletes circling around on the ice for an hour while the rest of us eat, cheer, drink, boo and fall asleep. That’s what “that” is.

Journalists – the corpulent ones – like to tag particular games as “defining moments.” This game is not a defining moment. (Arguably the last game was, but that’s a matter for statisticians to parse.) But this game can be a moment to define what kind of team we are, and how we run this last half of the race.

Prediction

“Wake Up and Live!” – Bob Marley.

We’re not at all clear why we landed on Mr. Marley as a muse tonight. You may speculate at your leisure.

We’ve seen the Habs once before (3-o) this season; tonight marks 2 of 4. They are not a team that has key determining factors of whether we get to the playoffs, but they are the Habs. And every win represents points we desperately need. CAPS: Wake Up and Live!

Habs 2, Caps 4.

Meme of the Night

Doug Johnson of Puck Buddys offers this game preview. @PuckBuddys.

[Ed. note: for coverage of Rene Bourque, uhhh... check out RMNB on Wednesday morning.]

The Pregame: Fun game! Everyone from a malfunctioning family, raise your hand. Or, if you’re in a public place, just give a little squee inside. Yeah, we thought so. Show me the person who says their family is perfectly normal and I’ll show you a glue-sniffing, trick-turning, psychopathic cat hoarder. You know: like [fill in hated politician here] Oh, biting wit!

And speaking of glue-sniffing (bet you thought it’d be sociopathy), we come to Wednesday’s game against the Montreal Canadiens. Les Habitants. You know: the Baldwin family of contemporary hockey. Or should that be the Donner Party? Either way, they eat their own to the amusement of all.

Oh you bet, we’ve all had a hearty laugh – a long, hard laugh – at the goonish antics of our Quebecois neighbors of late. Like watching the Spuckler family argument spill out onto the un-mowed back lawn, hurling rotting plastic chairs at one another as they jockey for “superiority” amid the weeds and used Timmy Hos coffee cups. Too much back bacon, eh?

The Puck Drop

Andrei Kostitsyn

Where to begin, presented with such a luxe buffet? Start with a hearty slab of Cammalleri’s trade… mid-game. Larfs! Kris Humphries divorce ended more graciously (or should that be John Huntsman? Oh… oops, that’s right… nevermind.)  Then again, at least according to PuckBuddys’ Habs correspondent Matt Skolnikov, Cammalleri “…was a prima donna that was all chiseled good looks and bags of beauty products in the locker room for touch-ups during intermissions but not, in my opinion, much of a hockey player.” Snaps high, girlfriend.

Beyond the other – many other – examples we could cite, the key point is that the Habs blow this season. Like [redacted, sorry guys!] blow. Les Canadiens (17-20-8) are at the bottom (ahem) of the Northeast Division, behind (heh-heh) the Sabres for Crimminy’s sake. They stink at home (8-8-1); they stink worse on the road (9-12-1); shorthanded goals have deviled them; and while they have a sorta decent PP, they munch at their primary job: goals in net (a lame 115).

Still, we – your humble PuckBuddys – have resolved to not face-wash Les Lame-o’s we’re playing, nor wriggle with delight at our opponents troubles. Which makes this whole enterprise rather comical. Whatever, here we go with

What Makes Them Hot

Lars Eller

1: Tish, I Love French!  Brian Gionta, gap-toothed menace Ryan White, and the seasoned Andrei Markov are all out on injuries, leaving the Habs to seriously regroup. Among those stepping up, center Scott Gomez. At 0G/5A, minus-2, he may not seem like a threat, but watch this kid; he’s been hot of late. Another colleague, Max Pacioretty (15G/17A, minus-1) sounds like something we’d put on a pizza, but of late he’s eating opponent’s lunch.

2: Bargain Bin. Carey Price is exactly who he is. His GAA of 2.551 isn’t King Lundqvist worthy (but almost exactly Racoon-worthy) but his .913 SA puts him right up among the best this season. Too bad he may not be playing for the Habs next season, or not. Halak or Price? It sounds like the Canadiens management may be lining up behind Price for contract renewal – perhaps at a large (don’t say it) price.

3: Loose Change: Erik Cole (17G/16A, plus-5), Danish treat and recent hattie Lars Eller (8G/9A, plus-1), and others; they all help. But Montreal’s forward play has been, ummm…lacking. So what if you’ve got hotties on the ice – can they score?

Why They’re Not

1: Home town! Teams are expected to play well at home. Teams from the elite of hockey are expected to whip opponents at home. Teams like the Habs – strike that, there is no other team like the Habs – are demanded to perform in front of the hometown audience… which means, win. This season, at le Centre Belle, the Canadiens have turned in a cringe-inducing 8-8. Hé Grenouilles, votre équipe pue!  (And by that, we mean Le Pew!)

4-time cup winner Gilles Tremblay

2: Shadows of Glory. This, even for us, is something we come to with humility. The Habs were (and we expect will be, some year) a fixture of hockey’s glory. Maybe it takes an original six fan to say this, but Montreal has been a hated favorite of mine. Boston? Dirty-playing dirt dicks, frankly. Les Habs? Right up there with the Wings: class, class, classy-class-class. Gordie Howe, meet Gilles Tromblay. Steve Yzerman? Jack Laviollette. Sergei Federov, here’s Guy Lafleur. Here’s the point, other than slobbering in fanboy daydreams: the Habs are a team of tradition, of longevity, and of class.

It is a sad fact that today, however, that tradition is rendered as little more than clown car. That, mes amis, will not end before this season. Nos bras meurtris vous tendent le flambeau, à vous toujours de le porter bien haut. Flambeau away, dear Habs; flambeau away.

3: One Word: Sasha-stacular! H8rs, the line forms somewhere between the men’s room and the exit sign. Our other Russians have mixed results – Ovi, who totes gets the whole “crash the opponent” thing, and the “crash the net” thing, too, except for the part where he actually gets the puck IN the net; and Dima – SCOARLOV! – who is showing every bearish sign of moving up and up save for the fact that he’s barely out of shortpants and is still a class act.  But we have to come back to Sasha Major. 11G/13A, plus-1? That doesn’t even start to tell the story of our heavy-metal, pipes-crashing, sniper-tastic Sasha of late. Good Sasha, you may take the stage.

Prediction

Because we’re dopes, we go out on the line. Caps 4, Habs 3.

The OT

The PuckBuddys, and the RMNB family, welcome a new addition this week. Specifically a huge, black-furred, long-snouted girl, with the adoption of retired greyhound racer and brood-mom, Uma. A home with boys isn’t quite complete without a a boy’s best friend, so we welcome her in all her giant rat-snaring, couch-hogging, mess-making fuzzy glory. Rats of DC beware: Uma is on the prowl. We <3 U.

Meme of the Night