Henrik Lundqvist Squirts Sidney Crosby (Video)

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The same day Boston Bruins enforcer Shawn Thornton was fined for squirting his water bottle at P.K. Subban, New York Rangers goaltender and male model Henrik Lunqvist also got naughty with his Gatorade bottle. The recipient of the liquid hate this time was soon-to-be-named MVP Sidney Crosby, so this highlight goes to 11.

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Pittsburgh Penguins star Sidney Crosby is going to win the Hart trophy at the end of the season. Not only was Sid the only guy to score 100 points this year, he is also a good defensive player too. That’s why on Friday night against the New York Rangers, I was surprised to see Crosby completely give up on a play in the defensive zone.

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ovesby

The greatest story in the history of hockey continues. I am so excited to share this I am about to puke rainbows all over the keyboard.

Our brother from another blogger, Kyle Mace of SHOE, shared this photo from Hershey, Pennsylvania. It’s the sequel to CROCHKIN, the legendary Sidney Crosby/Alex Ovechkin Frankenstein shirsey.

Ladies and germs: presenting OVESBY!

Is everyone freaking out or is it just me?

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The Caps game sucks, so let’s look elsewhere for entertainment. How about Pittsburgh, where Sidney Crosby recorded an assist on Chris Kunitz‘s first-period goal against the Carolina Hurricanes. That apple gave Crosby his fifth career 100-point season. He’s a lock for the Art Ross trophy, but that’s not why we’re writing.

No. We’re writing because tonight is the night the refs finally turned on Sid. As Crosby skated into the Pens’ defensive zone, he got smacked a linesman. We’re ethically obligated to say it was unintentional, but c’mon.

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ovechkin-hit-on-sutter

While the Washington Capitals played great against the Pittsburgh Penguins, they fell 3-2, losing another game they really needed to win. But it wasn’t for a lack of effort.

Caps captain Alex Ovechkin attempted 8 shots, 4 of them on goal, and recorded an insane 7 hits, leading all players.

His most impressive collision was his third-period hit on center Brandon Sutter, which sent the center tumbling into the Penguins bench.

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Tom Wilson Is One Of The Most Penalized Rookies Ever

Wilson has an intimate chat with Claude Giroux. (Photo: Rob Carr/Getty Images)

Well, here’s something incredible we’ve uncovered about Tom Wilson.

Playing the Florida Panthers on February 27th, Wilson’s third-period slash on Brian Campbell put him at 112 penalty minutes on the year. Those two PIMs helped Wilson overtake the teenager penalty minutes record since 2004-05.

That mark was previously held by — you’ll never guess.

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Sidney Crosby Welcomes Connor Carrick to the NHL (GIF)

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Check out Carrick’s grimace.

When I get frustrated, I try to leave the situation before I do something stupid. I go outside, I gather my thoughts, I try to compose myself.

World-class hockey player Sidney Crosby doesn’t have that luxury. He’s trapped in a 200′ x 85′ plexiglass case of emotion. Or maybe he really is an enabled and entitled goon who enjoys temper tantrums, complaining, and cheap shots. Whatever it is, Crosby lashed out again on Wednesday night. This time he took his aggression out on poor li’l Connor Carrick.

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That Sucked: Pens Blank Caps 4-0

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:( (Photo credit: Rob Carr)

Ian Oland birthday card of the night. (Photo credit: Brouwer Rangers)

Ian Oland birthday card of the night. (Photo credit: Brouwer Rangers)

A few years ago, the Washington Capitals-Pittsburgh Penguins rivalry was the NHL’s top draw. Led by the league’s best players, the teams spawned epic playoff series and fantastic regular season games. Eventually, though, Sidney Crosby got hurt and Alex Ovechkin got stale. For the past couple seasons, Caps-Pens has been a bit hollow.

This year, however, Ovi vs. Sid is relevant again: Crosby came into the game tied for the league lead in points, Ovechkin was tied for the lead in goals. Wednesday, the Caps were just one point behind the Pens for the Metropolitan division lead. With NBC in town, the good old days of the late ’00s were back — even if Brooks Laich didn’t give a crap.

Unfortunately, the game was less Snovechkin and more 2009 Semifinals game seven.

Paul Martin put the Pens up early through a screen that make Braden Holtby look foolish. Rejected Gossip Girl character Beau Bennett stretched the lead to two on a two-on-four — yes two-on-four — for Pittsburgh midway through the first. The second frame was utterly boring until ya boy Sidney Crosby unleashed an Ovi shot from the Ovi spot on the power play to put the Pens up by three. James Neal added another in the third.

Worst. Pens Blank Caps 4-0.

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What is Pierre McGuire Doing? (GIF)

The play happens at the 38-second mark.

During Friday’s series-sweeping Boston win over the Pittsburgh Penguins, Brad Marchand did his thing. But I’m not here to chronicle another Louganisian dive or a infuriating cheap shot, instead I want to take a look at what happened when he tried to steal Sidney Crosby‘s stick during a line-change.

As Crosby dumps the puck into the Bruins zone, Marchand, loading up to make a big hit, instead softly shoves the Penguins captain in the left shoulder. Crosby skates away, but Marchand isn’t finished chatting. He grabs Crosby’s stick and refuses to let go.

Marchand is a toddler, sure, but the interesting part is Pierre McGuire and his reaction. Pierre, with a look of concern, raises his right hand twice and then, after flinching backwards from the players, lunges forward, and smiles. It’s creepy.

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Carolina Hurricanes v Pittsburgh Penguins, Game One

By Reddit user vucc.

The Pittsburgh Penguins entered the 2013 playoffs as the best team in the East. Hands down. They led the league in goals despite losing ever-vainglorious Sidney Crosby to plastic surgery mid-season. It seemed like a trip to the Stanley Cup Finals would be a cakewalk, even moreso once The Kid returned.

And then.

Marc-Andre Fleury’s first round cognitive flatulence from last year made an (un?)expected return. He was benched after four fecal games against the Islanders. Opting instead for Tomas “I have a really surprising amount of tattoos” Vokoun, the Pens’ rickety ship got rightened long enough to beat the Islanders and the Senators.

But now, against the Bruins in the Eastern Conference Finals, hockey’s golden goose Sidney Crosby has been diagnosed with a virulent case of the Fleuries. Crosby had a bevy of boondoggles in game one, which I’ll document below, including a Sean Avery-esque shove of Tuukka Rask at the end of the second period that in a just world would have resulted in a They Live-style brawl. Then, in game two, on his first shift, Crosby served up a tasty turnover that led to Boston’s first goal. That set the tone for the game, which was the most deliciously pathetic thing we’ve had the privilege to watch in a long time. The Bruins lead the series 2-0, and the Pens — well, they’re in trouble, dude.

Listen. I’ve been taunted by Penguins fans all my life. This is overdue.

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