Enhance quadrant 17-Theta.

That’s hard to see, but I think that’s an iPhone, folks (CONFIRMED). Alan May, the ascendant scribe/scryer/sage of Comcast Sportsnet Washington and survivor of nine punishing NHL seasons, has a cute little smartphone in addition to his iPad.  He’s one man straddling the digital divide: one foot in the hardscrabble hockey days of the 80′s and 90′s, the other standing firm on cloudsourced megagigabytes of self-replicating memes and videos of animals that sound like people.

His tweets no longer @mention himself, and he’s adopted a dichotomous wise/fool tone. He’s engaging commentators and spreading his love of tough-as-nails hockey. But he’s also playing Scramble during commercials breaks and placing online orders for Chipotle so he doesn’t have to wait in those ridiculous lines.

The age of digital Alan May is here. Your move, Internet.

Hmm, what is that? Enhance quadrant J-7.

By Crom! Alan May has an iPad.

This raises a few questions:

1. Most importantly, has he bookmarked RMNB?
2. Did Nicky Backstrom buy it?
3. What apps does he have?
4. Is he playing Angry Birds during commercial breaks?
5. Does he have Words With Friends? (If so, please challenge username peterhassett to a brawl.)

Still: check out May getting all tech-savvy. He’s on Twitter now, @mentioning himself in almost every tweet, and blogging a righteously bloggy blog for CSN. Next thing you know, he’ll join a World of Warcraft guild, do some trolling on 4chan, and make some Sad Keanu‘s for his tumblog.

Yeah, I know. Slow news day.