Photo credit: Francois Lacasse

Sidney Crosby, John Tavares, Jonathan Toews, and Alex Ovechkin. Those are the names most seen in the deluge of chatter about this season’s Hart Trophy, the award given each year to the player deemed most valuable to his team. Washington’s own goal-scoring leader Alex Ovechkin seems to be the underdog in those conversations for a variety of reasons, namely that he plays in a bad division and wasn’t exceptional until the middle of March. I think those reasons are suspect, but the Hart conversation is already marred by a whole lot of questionable conventional wisdom.

The Hart Trophy is supposed to be awarded to the player that the Professional Hockey Writers Association deems most valuable to his team. While the actual inscription on the Hart Trophy leaves out the whole “to his team” part, I find that little prepositional phrase to be crucial. The NHL is unlike the MLB, whose MVP award has a simpler definition (“most outstanding player“), the same one used for the Ted Lindsay Award.

The Lindsay is the NHL’s real MVP award: voted on by the players and without consideration for team quality or any of the other logical convolutions that make the Hart the cause of ulcers for everyone silly enough to care about it.

The Hart is for the League’s Best Player

The Hart is not for the league’s best player. It is for the player most valuable to his team. Says so right on NHL.com.

If the Hart were truly an assessment of who the league’s best player is, we could just calculate everyone’s GVT (goals versus threshold, a catch-all stat similar to baseball’s WAR, invented by Tom Awad). The guy with the highest GVT gets the trophy and we all go home.

But it’s not about “who’s best?”, it’s about “who is most valuable?” An insultingly dumb analogy would go like this: a glass of water is more valuable to a guy in a desert than it is to a guy with a Brita. To understand value, we have to understand context. In this case, context is the team. So let’s talk about teams.

Non-Playoff Teams Need Not Apply

The assertion seems to be that about half of all players are disqualified from contention because their teams sucked. Imagine a player who scored more than a quarter of his team’s total goals and assisted in another 15%. Is he not valuable because his team valued him too much? The logic sort of unspools there. That player was Steven Stamkos, and using the NHL’s own definition of the Hart, he certainly deserved a look for last year’s trophy.

Here’s the thing. A great player on a bad team is more valuable to his team than an equally great player on a good team. This isn’t an argument of relative greatness (let’s say they have identical goals and assists); it’s an argument of value, which is the whole damn point of the award in the first place. So yes, sadly, players with good teammates should get “punished” because they are less valuable as a result.

No Goalies Allowed Either

The last goalie to win the Hart Trophy was Jose Theodore, back in 2001-2002. He posted a .931 save percentage in 67 games that year. Since then, Roberto Luongo, Mike Smith, Jonathan Quick, and Ryan Miller have had comparable seasons without the same recognition. Perhaps giving the Hart to a goalie is redundant since the Vezina Trophy, awarded to the best goalie, already exists. But Mike Smith’s performance in Phoenix last year and particularly Lou’s back in pre-lockout Florida were extremely valuable to their teams.

Maybe it’s just that goalies play fewer games a season than skaters. Now that you mention it…

The Games-Played Cutoff

Sidney Crosby will have played in 75% of games this season. That’s a larger percentage than Mario Lemieux played when he won the Hart in 1992-1993. By conventional wisdom, Crosby should not be eliminated from Hart contention, and I totally agree. While there seems to be some kind of minimum threshold of games played for someone to be considered a Hart nominee, it’s arbitrary. That’s okay: this is and should be a subjective award based on the individual value judgments made by its voters. I’m just here to question what those value judgments are, and this one seems legit.

To me, awarding the Hart is identifying the player who is more indispensable to his team than anyone else on any team. It’s not the player who– if you replaced him with some schmuck off the streets (let’s just call that schmuck Jussi Jokinen)– his team would still win six in a row and eight of their last ten games. That replaced player may still be fantastic (in fact, this hypothetical player from Nova Scotia might still be a slam-dunk for the Ted Lindsay), but his value proportional to his team is not as high as other players’.

All the points above are important in discussing how to differentiate good players, but they’re not really relevant to players’ values to their teams, and that’s what matters. Or is supposed to matter, at least.

I don’t know who will win the Hart Trophy. If it’s Crosby, the cynic in me would feel vindicated and the hockey fan in me would be delighted. But judging by public conversations about the Hart, the deliberative process is a mess– poorly defined and clouded by all kinds of dubious wisdom.

Predicting who will win the Hart is a sucker’s game. I usually find it more illuminating to talk in terms of “should” rather than “will” anyway. Especially in the case of the Hart Trophy, which is stupid.

Next: Why Ovi should win the stupid Hart.

p.s. -

Photo credit: Patrick McDermott

Thursday night against the Hurricanes, the Washington Capitals continued their march up the Eastern Conference standings with some Ovi scoring and Brouwer yelling (what else is new) as they defeated the Carolina Hurricanes. Tonight, they looked to extend their six-game winning streak against another flailing Southeast Division team from more humid parts, the Tampa Bay Lightning. They did. It was fun ’cause the Caps scored a lot of goals, until Tampa did that too.

It started with a Brouwitzer, then a Hillen blast (just kidding), and then some Russian dude with a missing tooth. In the second it was JASON FREAKING CHIMERA, Panik for Tampa, Panik puns for people on Twitter, and a Fehr tap in. The third, as usual, was where the Caps screwed things up, with two St. Louis goals, another for Panik, and one for Purcell. However…

OVERTIME = GAME OVER GREEN.

In the end, there were wings for the people in the stands and two points for the people on the ice. Caps edge Bolts 6-5 (OT).

• Tonight was a matchup between the league’s top two scorers: Alex Ovechkin and Steven Stamkos. If the Lightning were any good, it might even be a matchup of two MVP candidates. Ovi wasted no time taking over the lead with the final scoar of Washington’s three goal first period. Forehand, backhand, one-legged flying celebration, glass smash.
• The amazing turnaround for Ovechkin continues. The hockey world had given up on Ovi two months ago; now he’s on pace to win his third Rocket Richard Trophy.
• Nine shots on goal for Ovechkin, seven for Mike Green. I hear these guys are doing well lately. Greenie won it in overtime.
• Seventeen goals in 15 games for the Great Eight. EVERYBODY TO RIGHT WING.
• Troy Brouwer is also hot hot hot. Unleashing another Brouwitzer on the power play, Troy registered his third goal in two games. Sadly, though, he didn’t swear maniacally at Alex Semin after this one.
• Also, also doing well lately: Jack Hillen. This guy’s month just keeps getting better. Contract, baby, goal, goal. Don’t look know, but JH38 is becoming a fan favorite. Seriously.
• Jason Chimera scored his first goal since NBC was worth watching — March 17 — tonight, converting a sublime tick-tack-toe with Mathieu Perrault. And Peter missed it. Again. Because he was in New Jersey. I know.
• The third line was super awesome tonight. In addition to Chimera’s goal, Eric Fehr had a tap-in tally and Matty P. had two succulent assists.
• Nate Thompson‘s unplanned meeting with a Green slap shot shows once again shows that visors are good for you. Yes, Thompson ended up bleeding all over the ice, but he could have easily lost an eye — that’s what was behind the shield.
• The Caps keep collapsing late in the game and it continues to be super annoying. This game was 5-1 at one point. Please stop, guys.
• Richard Panik put some fancy moves on while all alone in front and Marty St. Louis (that short dude) fired a delicious snipe over his catching glove to start the Tampa comeback. In the third, it was those two guys again.
• And then… disaster.
• With two and a half minutes left, Teddy Purcell fired a backhander past Holtby. Verizon Center could not believe it. The fans should know better by now.
• The Capitals gave up 40 or more shots for the second straight game.
• There’s a reason Tampa’s hockey team is called the Lightning: thunderstorms are forecasted in the area for the next three days. This information is useless to you.
• This tweet made CSN. Ian is very proud.
• Marcus Johansson deserves all the credit in the world tonight. His beautiful move to the net drew the game’s decisive power play.

Joe B. Suit of the Night

I was one of the team’s biggest doubters in the winter, but after seeing Adam Oates’s handiwork — with the system, the power play, and Alex Ovechkin — it’s hard not to think this team might be able to make a run in the playoffs. This team, believe it or not, may actually be good — as long as you play a two period game. This game was a tale of two different teams. The first one was unstoppable, as fun as those amazing (regular season) Caps teams from a few years ago; the second was pathetic. At least they still won, their seventh victory in a row.

Pete H. will back in the saddle for Leafs v. Caps on Tuesday. Enjoy your Sunday. Boo Orioles.

Request for #Caps fans: Please start chanting MVP after Ovechkin goals.

— Ian Oland (@ianoland) April 13, 2013

In Tuesday’s win over the Montreal Canadiens, Alex Ovechkin scored his 26th goal of the season. For about an hour, he was the sole occupant of the NHL goal-scoring lead– until Tampa’s Steven Stamkos recorded his 26th with a game-winner against the Senators. Stamkos are Ovechkin are now neck-and-neck in a race for the Rocket Richard Trophy, given each year to the player who scores the most goals. I’m wondering if we can figure out who has the edge here.

But first, on Wednesday afternoon Neil Greenberg observed that Ovechkin’s career is prone to streaks and slumps when it comes to shooting percentage.

[chart] Ovechkin Sh%, 20-game moving average over last three years twitpic.com/ciek2f. Won’t last forever so enjoy the ride.

— Neil Greenberg (@ngreenberg) April 10, 2013

He’s right. The rate of goals Ovechkin scores will almost certainly fall off from its current high, and we don’t know when it’ll happen. If Ovechkin can maintain his shooting percentage for the next 8 games, the Richard is his– but I doubt he can do that. Still, he still has a damn good chance, and that’s mostly due to his inhumanly high shot volume.

That chart shows how many shots Alex Ovechkin has fired per game over the last three seasons. Ovechkin’s lifetime average is a little over five shots a game, so notice how dramatically he dropped off during the Hunter era. For whatever reason, that’s when people-who-are-paid-to-have-people-talk-about-the-things-they-talk-about said that Ovechkin was washed-up. And now please direct your attention to the far right, the most recent block of games, where Ovi is once again generating shots nearly on par with the Boudreau era. If Ovi’s recent spike in shot output is more than just a fluctuation, then happy days are here again and Adam Oates is an evil genius. His pairing Ovechkin with Backstrom, moving him to the right wing, and prioritizing him on the power play have almost restored Ovechkin to the player he used to be.

But it’s early, and I don’t know if that’s true yet. So to figure out what’s happening with the Richard race, we’re gonna try it two ways. To estimate how many goals Stamkos and Ovechkin might score in the remainder of the season, we run a simple formula:

games remaining x shots per game x shooting percentage

First, here’s how that works out using each player’s career stats. That includes Ovi’s insane-o first couple of seasons and the drudgery of the Hunter grind.

Ovechkin comes out ahead by about a goal.

But Ovechkin today isn’t shooting like Ovechkin from 2008-09. The ravages of his old age (a creaky 27) and the Capitals’ shift from fun hockey to whatever last year was certainly slowed his output. So I’ll do the table again using just the last three seasons of data, when Ovechkin has shot less often and scored at a lower rate on those shots.

Stamkos is the winner.

So the real question is whether is Ovechkin truly back, or if we’re just seeing one of those glimpses I talked about the other week. But at this point, the Richard Trophy is just an 8-game sprint, and it will be probably decided by the natural variance of hockey.

As Neil’s chart showed above, shooting percentage fluctuates a lot– especially in small samples. We know both Stamkos and Ovechkin are elite scorers, so it’ll probably come down to who gets lucky, who gets more ice time against the Panthers, or who gets more power plays because some plug on the other team gives up a hooking penalty. And John Tavares is only two goals behind; it’d take just one bad night for a goalie to put him in the lead. This is a cop-out answer, but no one can accurately predict this race. And it doesn’t really matter in the long run.

Don’t get me wrong: the Rocket Richard Trophy is a big deal. Winning it would re-establish Alex Ovechkin as one of the pre-eminent stars of the sports world (and can I be the first the float the idea of an Ovi-Maria wedding in Las Vegas as he accepts the trophy?) But in the long run, what will truly matter for the Capitals is how Ovi performs next year– and the one after that.

The difference between an Alex Ovechkin who averages six shots a game and one who averages three is like 22 goals a season. Ovechkin is still going to slow down with age, but if Adam Oates can put that off for another year or two… well, then, is party now.

Photo credit: Bruce Bennett

Concussions have become the topic du jour around the NHL in the last few years, and for very good reason. Nearly a hundred cases of head trauma have been recorded just this season, and with Caps star Nicklas Backstrom missing forty games with concussion the issue has now hit DC  fans closer to home. Despite his highly physical style of play, Alex Ovechkin has managed to avoid concussion so far in his career. Still, he hasn’t been ignoring the epidemic, and for several months Ovechkin has been testing Bauer’s new trauma-preventative RE-AKT helmet. It’s now being worn by several other Bauer-sponsored NHL stars, but Ovechkin was the first to agree to test the RE-AKT — even before Backstrom’s incident with Rene Bourque.

We spoke to C.J. Ficek, Bauer’s Product Manager for Helmets to find out more about the helmet and Ovi’s decision to wear it.

The RE-AKT helmet, intended to to provide more comprehensive protection than traditional helmets, has been in development for two years, and goes on sale to the general public in May. Meanwhile, it’s still being validated by Ovechkin and more than a dozen NHLers including Claude Giroux of the Flyers.

“Two years ago, we looked at the industry and said, ‘We’re hearing about this a lot more, there’s got to be a way to produce a helmet that could better protect players,’” Ficek said. “So we set down that path of doing our homework, working a lot with the medical field, understanding head trauma and concussions and what goes into that, and then taking away all that information and trying to design a helmet that helped mitigate those risks.”

“One of those things we found out was about rotational forces — traditional hockey helmets have always been tested for more of a linear impact, a direct impact,” he continued. “We also found out from the medical field that the rotational aspect comes into play, and obviously hockey is a game of speed and motion, players are constantly twisting and turning and whatnot, getting hit from the side, it’s not always a direct impact.”

This is not the large, clunky variety of padded helmet that we’ve seen on other players – and sometimes in other sports – (Matt Bradley’s concussion-proof bucket was described as having “a CIA transmitter up there” by former Cap Brendan Morrison).  The RE-AKT is streamlined and lightweight, weighing less than many normal helmets. If you weren’t already aware that Ovechkin was wearing a special helmet, you wouldn’t have noticed.

Ovechkin has been involved with the RE-AKT’s development since the offeseason, when he began negotiating an endorsement deal with Bauer.

“He was at the office and we were in the early stages of the helmet, but we were able to show him and walk him and his agent through the helmet, and what it has to offer,” Ficek said. “He had a chance to try it on and he said, that’s the helmet I want.”

Ovechkin lays on the ice after colliding with Mike Knuble in practice (Photo credit: Andrew Harnik/The Washington Times)

Though several of his teammates have been out of the lineup with head injuries, Ovechkin’s only missed games this season due to suspension, and briefly for a “lower-body” injury. Only a few weeks ago, Ovechkin was involved in a huge collision with teammate Mike Knuble during practice, but though the hit was of the type that has sidelined many players this season, Ovechkin appeared to suffer no ill effects.

“By no means is it foolproof, it doesn’t mean it’s concussion-proof either,” Ficek said. “It just means that we have a solution that can better-protect the players, and it helps manage the impacts better than some of the traditional helmets out there.”

Ficek says feedback on the helmet has initially been very good – Giroux continues to wear it, as well as some of his teammates such as Danny Briere and James van Riemsdyk. Steven Stamkos is also involved, though having a Richard Trophy season has gotten in the way. “Stamkos was an athlete that we spoke with who loves the helmet, but he’s also very superstitious,” Ficek said. “He told us up front ‘hey, I’m on a run right now scoring goals, I’m probably not going to change anything at this point.’ It’s one of those things that when he’s ready, the helmet will be there for him.”

As for Ovechkin’s part, Bauer hopes that having the high-profile Russian star aboard will encourage others to try — and buy — the helmet. “I think Alex obviously is one of the most dynamic players in the NHL, anything he does is always in the limelight,” said Ficek. “Definitely if it creates more exposure, maybe if some of the other athletes, some of the younger players coming into the league see that, they can at least try to understand what it has to offer.”

He added; “It’s a cultural shift, we’re seeing it all the way down at the youth level, we’re seeing more and more head injuries and concussions, at least diagnosed, versus the old days when it was ‘you got your bell rung, get back out there’. We’re starting to see a good push of awareness, which is what we want. At the end of the day it’s all about protecting the players, the kids as well as the NHL players.”

Phone interview by Ian Oland, additional reporting by Chris Gordon.

Saturday’s win over the Canadiens was way too close, but two points were gained and that is all that matters. Now, in this final week of the regular season, six points remain available. The Caps kinda need all of those if they want home-ice advantage in the playoffs.

That means getting two tonight in Tampa.

What the heck happened to Tampa anyway? They were the breakout team in the east last year, going pretty darn far with a bright youngling (Stamkos), a wizened old man  (Roloson), and a magical halfling (St. Louis). They swept our Capitals out in the second round almost took a series away from the eventual champions, the Boston Bruins.

A normal sized human

This year, the team kinda blows. The big difference is Dwayne Roloson, who dropped from a .914 Sv% to an .884 Sv%. Steven Stamkos, meanwhile, is the best offensive player in the league with 56 goals. Keeping that tally stalled will be a big part of getting the win.

The Bolts no longer have Steve Downie, whom they dealt to the Avalanche, immediately halving their DOUCHEBAG/60 stat. That alone will make tonight’s game much more pleasant.

I don’t think I need to impress on you how important this game is, but I’m gonna do it anyway:

The Capitals are in 8th place, 2 points ahead of Buffalo. They probably ain’t catching Ottawa, but winning the division title is still possible. Here are all the games we care about:

Capitals @ Lightning       Monday 
Panthers vs Jets           Tuesday 
Sabres vs Maple Leafs      Tuesday 
Capitals vs Panthers       Thursday 
Sabres @ Flyers            Thursday 
Sabres @ Boston            Saturday 
Panthers vs Canes          Saturday
Capitals @ NYR             Saturday

As we’ve written about before, the Capitals suck on the road. If the Caps make the playoffs, which is likely, having the benefit of home ice could be the difference between playing golf soon and playing golf REALLY soon. We’ll know for sure on Saturday. Speaking of which: you coming to our party???

Puck drops at 7. It’ll be on NBC Sports, but I think Joe B is calling it.

Here’s a tune from last year’s playoffs:

Doug Johnson writes for Puck Buddys. And because we have the microfilm in a safety deposit box somewhere, he writes for us as well. Follow @PuckBuddys or we start executing hostages.

The Pregame: Hey now; any you guys see that show on the teevees, “Doomsday Peppers” or something? You know, the one where seemingly pleasant enough, if overwhelmingly white people happily share their crackpot theories of why the world will end any minute now and how they’ll survive by stocking their compounds with bullets and pig dung? Good times.

Meanwhile we in America’s Hockey’s Capital are not so much having da good times of late. I’m thinking closer to the pig dung. Or better – remember those snobby nuclear scientists with their finger-waggling about nuclear Armageddon, bringing us down during the happy heydays of Ronald Reagan and “Family Ties” with their elitist Doomsday Clock? (Kiddies: go look it up while we drink our Metamucil.)

Yeah. Sitting here, looking at Thursday’s game and the remainder of the season, it feels like five minutes to midnight…with the clock ticking. And here’s us, without a stockpile.

Want more feel good snuggles?  Keep reading.

The Puck Drop

The team looks (and increasingly sounds) sullen as they simply have not been able to get their act together in their own zone. That, and we keep re-learning how apparently absolutely essential Nicky 19 was to smart offense, PP success, speed off the dot and, it seems, keeping our Captain in good humor and peak performance. And how much we miss Papa Arnott.

“Oh sure, that sounds like fun!” was how we responded to writing pregamers for our Ruskie overlords. “Heck, laud the Caps and laugh at our opponents – sign us up!” Well, it’s all fun and larfs while the rented magician and margaritas keep flowing, but when things dry up, well you begin to realize how tough times can get.

Who’s Hot, And Why We’re Not

Context is for the weak.

#1: Home again, home again. Jiggity jig, said the fat cow to the little fat pig. Right before they both got slaughtered. (Don’t bother correcting us, this is what we learned on the farm.)

Our five home-game run here was supposed to raise our spirits and our standings, and it’s done neither. In fact, it has arguably sunk them both. Worse than three losses at home in a row (don’t dare call it a streak) is two shutouts – at home – in a row. And against lesser teams! Except that, well, they clearly beat us those nights.

Still, numbers – 21-10-3, just about as good as any other good team – argue there’s still some Phone Booth Magic left. We’ve downed the Bolts before, we can do it again.

Obligatory.

#2: John Carter, White Courtesy Phone. OK straighter than straight men’s men, we see through you. This whole “John Carter” yakka-yakka movie? Totes just a chance for you to go oggle stupidly beautiful men while assuring yourselves you’re really just there for the action. Admit it and get over yourselves.

Speaking of, let’s just admit that Stamkos, St. Louis (of the pee-wee pedigree,) Lecavalier and Bergeron are total he-men on the ice this season. They really are. Yet this does not make us any less of a collection of he-men on the ice. What we’ve seen from Troy-Boy, Ovie, Sasha, Knubs and others recently provides proof. Where we want to see a little more muscle flexing is from Alzner, Carlson, Schultz, HAMRLIK, and a few others.

Guys, we know you got it. Just do it.

#3: Just Win, Boys. Just win. And Sasha, keep up your huggy ways.

The Zamboni

Eagle-eyed PuckBuddy Craig noticed that Thompson Creek Windows and Hadeed Carpets have both apparently pulled their ads from airing locally during the Rush Dimbaugh Program. We can’t imagine why!

While Thompson appears to have made the smart long-term investment in Smokin’ Al, Hadeed is showing a knack for picking today’s “It” boy just as he turns a little stale (we still love you Carly!) Still, both firms are showing remarkable acumen for, well, basically not wanting to pay for the Oxycodone shakes of a foul-mouthed vulgarian by pulling their financial backing from Limbaugh’s show.

Which basically ensures that we will now exclusively use Hadeed for our carpet cleaning, and will call Thompson Creek to replace our windows that don’t need replacing. We encourage Caps Nation to follow suit.

The Fallout: 7pm home game on Comcast. Watch it. Your humble PuckBuddys have to go to some lame neighborhood meeting on development and blahblahblah we’re asleep already. The Caps began this 5-game home stand with a win. We are confident they will end it with one. Stamkos be damned: here come the Caps! Take that to the bank or call my bookie.

By the way: Tampa still smells like butt.

Meme of the Night:

Photo credit: Mike Carlson

The Washington Capitals ended their vacation in America’s unit by mixing it up with the Tampa Bay Lightning. The game featured the return of Mike Green to active duty and Mike Knuble to the top line, but precious little else.

Just 130 seconds in, a neutral-ice turnover by Dmitry Orlov led to Tom Pyatt’s puck dribbling past Vokoun. Just 110 seconds into the second period, a turnover by Matt Hendricks led to Steven Stamkos’s breakaway and the 40th goal of his season. Brooks Laich redirected a Matthieu Perreault pass into the weak side of the Tampa net to make it 2-1. A Marcus Johansson penalty nixed the team’s chances at a comeback.

• I was in the car when I heard Mike Green was playing tonight. The poor Prius could hardly withstand the flurry of air punches and horn honking.
• The Caps had a golden opportunity on the second power play. Alex Semin chopped the puck, going just barely wide and into Victor Hedman‘s glove. Hedman, who is the Steckel of the South, grabbed the puck and threw it out of the paint. Rules 63.5 and 64.7 of the NHL rulebook says that’s a penalty shot. Vokoun was later snowed by a Tampa player without justice being served, leading one to think his net has become a temporary autonomous zone during game time.
• Congrats to Steven Stamkos, who recorded his 40th goal of the year. He’s an elite talent and responsible for a lot of scoring in a league that needs more of it.
• In addition to being an emotional turning point in the game, Brooks Laich’s goal was also a great example of when Hunter Hockey goes right. It was a good shift deep in the Lightning zone, and the vertical movement from Semin to Perreault opened up the space for Brooks Laich to score. Since we’re so critical of DH32, it’s important that we acknowledge his successes. Or, ya know, solitary success.
• As your boy Mike Vogel pointed out, Saturday marks the 8-year anniversary of Brooks Laich‘s entry to the Caps organization. He was acquired in exchange for someone named Peter Bondra. This all happened during what some (e.g. us) consider the lowest period of the team’s history, but perhaps it’d be better to think of that transaction as the beginning of the Caps’ Great Ascent. Nostalgia. Le sigh.
• Jack Anderson pointed out to us that Alex Semin has 26 points in 27 games and is averaging more than a point per game this month. Is somebody playing for a contract? Absolutely. Should he get one? Maybe. Should he get one before the postseason? NYET. Sasha took a mean puck and stick to the face in the final minute of the game.
• The better Jeff Schultz plays, the less we talk about him. If we’re really quiet about it, maybe Hunter will forget to scratch him.
• Tomas Vokoun started the third period by stopping a 100-foot shot on goal. Just wanted to point out that it really is possible to stop those.

Joe B suit of the night (thanks, @rkfoster8)

Mike Green’s big comeback was kind of a quiet affair. For a guy who hasn’t played since the early 80s, his 14 minutes and change on ice was impressive, but he didn’t contribute significantly to the team’s offense.

And it was that lacking offense that cost the Capitals a win. After a string of games with ever-increasing shot totals, the Caps let down big here– tallying only 22.

The Caps gain no ground in the division or conference. They are two points behind Florida and one behind Toronto. Bummer. Two more road games.

Finally, here’s @jopierce‘s artist rendering of Joe B’s suit. Thanks!

Doug Johnson of the Puck Buddys is back from break. Follow PB on Twitter.

The Pregame: Tampa. Sh*t, I’m still only in Tampa.

Or them, technically. Meaning us. As in, them, Tuesday night, isn’t us. And us don’t like them.

As dance partners go, Tampa Bay is the nattering, grabby-hands B.O. champion* of NHL cities. The one you get stuck with while your date runs off for a giggle as you try to shake him/her/it loose, but you can’t, because no-one else will even look at them, as they are now adhered to you like dog stain on rug, like flab on hips, like a vote-starved politician (redundant!) to your wallet.

Try as you might, they just won’t go away, and the longer they stay attached to you your social capital sucks dry as you furiously look for some escape but come to realize that, no, you and this thing are now welded together in a grotesque, condemned to dancing together for all eternity, or at least until realignment. Face it, Tampa: you smell.

The Puck Drop

Wideman! (Photo credit: Christian Petersen)

So whoopee, here we go again, like another “presidential” debate, another roundhouse with the smelly Bolts, all of us fresh from the pointless All-Star Game shenanigans. And by all of us we mean, duh, Wides, who gave good help to Team Ook Chiara while the rest of the Capitals bench went to go see The Artist or pickled tomatoes or whatever it is they do during break ::coughXBoxcough::

Twice before, once at home and once down in stink-town, we shimmied out a victory against Tampa, but only in the last post-last moments. Honestly, they were both strange games. Given that a measly nine points separate us in SE division, and given the up-and-downs we’ve both experienced this year, and what with them being what they’uns is, it’s hard to know what to expect. Meaning:

What Makes Them Hot, and Not

Dwayne Roloson

1: Damn You Stam(ko).  Remember when we used to laugh and laugh at the old man antics of Dwayne “When Is Matlock On?” Roloson? Hoho,with a save percent of .882 and GAA of 3.65, we figure he’s mostly sucking down his Metamucil while in net. Sadly, we can’t so glibly dismiss Tampa’s real talents… and at the top of the list is Steve Stamkos.

Only one man can claim top honors where it counts, and Stamkos (32G/20A, plus-1) has it. Far behind, but not far enough, are Martin “Short Man” St. Louis and Vincent “Le Biz Nasty” Lecavalier. Largely nonthreatening so far has been Steve “Dryer Sheet” Downie  (minus-18?!), but of course you can’t build a team on just one or two stars, because lulz who would do that? We’ve got our eye on Matt Gilroy (off an injury and angry) and Tom Pyatt this game.

Vincent Lecavalier

2: Road Non-Warriors: So OK, the Bolts are 4 for their last 5, although only one of those (Boston) really counts by our metric.While we’re rockin’ the home games (18-6-1) but sorta sucky on the road (8-13-2), they’re also kinda getting their freak-on down at the Times Forum (13-7-1.) We’re saddled with injuries we don’t need, and the Bolts are, weirdly, largely band-aid free.

And in news you already know, the Caps have called up Cody “Squeak” Eakin and Joel “You Lookin At Me” Rechlicz from Hershey. At 1G/27A, Mr. ReSchlitz isn’t exactly a power player, except for his fists. Perhaps this is another bit of Coach Hunter’s perspective, but look for a little more aggressive play by the Caps. Which we think factors them as hotter than notter.

The Line

Puck drop at 7:30 (isn’t that like Albanian time?) on that NBC sports-mess. Expect every one of their on-air talent to be swimming madly in the pool for Tampa and whining about Ovi’s no-show at the meaningless All-Star yecch. Because I bet over my head, not with it, we’ve got Caps by 2. Yes, by two. Suck on that, Smell-ville.

Meme of the Night

*Postscript: haha we tried working in “halitosis” here but were checked by our realization that there really is no such thing except in the feverish dreams of avarice of ad-men, and that we already had one smelly reference in the joke, which is exactly enough for Tampa.

Brouwer celebrates the hatty! (Photo credit: Nick Wass)

Coming into tonight’s game, the Capitals had scored on five of their last 12 powerplays. Meanwhile, Tampa was playing their second game in two nights on the road.

Right off the hop, Alex Ovechkin took advantage of Tampa’s tired legs, scoring on the powerplay via a blast from the point. The goal, courtesy of a screen orchestrated by Troy Brouwer’s rear, was Ovi’s 18th on the year. The Hockey Gods then rewarded Troy’s hard work with a goal of his very own 1:53 later on the brouwerplay.

In the second period, Brouwer went to the second power, pushing a rebound past 42-year-old Dwayne Roloson. With 2:54 left in the second, the Lightning got their first of the night when Mike Knuble had his pocket picked by Martin St. Louis. That freakin’ gnat then dished to Tom Pyatt who one-timed home his fourth goal of the season.

Steven Stamkos gave Tampa’s comeback some steam with a powerplay goal in the third period to make it 3-2. But Troy Brouwer then responded by collecting a hat trick with an empty-netter. Still the Lightning wouldn’t die as Vincent LeCavalier deflected home a St. Louis shot with 11 seconds left. After another wild deflection in front of the net almost got past Vokoun, the buzzer finally hit zero. Caps beat the Lightning, 4-3. WHEW.

• The Capitals came out hard tonight and put Tampa on the ropes early, earning 3 powerplays in the game’s first five minutes. After failing to get a shot on net on their first powerplay, the Capitals scored immediately on their next two. The game never really seemed in doubt until…

• Mike Green tweeted and set in motion the most bizarre set of hockey plays the world has ever seen. Let’s recap.
• Jason Chimera took a puck to the face and bled in front of the cameras.
• Alex Semin hit the post twice on the same shift.
• Karl Alzner, I repeat, Karl Alzner dropped the gloves with Steve Downie and landed the only punch.
• Troy Brouwer got called for boarding on a counter hit because Martin St. Louis weights 30 pounds.
• In defense of his fallen midget, Steven Stamkos dropped the gloves and tried to fight Brouwer.
• This happened.

• For those of you who still don’t believe in the wicked power behind Friday the 13th, I sure hope you do now. And if you still don’t, I guarantee a piano will fall on your head the next time you go outside.
• Anyways, other fun stuff happened tonight as well. Troy Brouwer had the game of his life, notching his first career hat trick. In two games against the Lightning this season, Brouwer has four goals. This was his fifth career multi-goal game.
• Dennis Wideman had two assists a day after being named an All Star for the first time. During CSN’s first intermission interview, he was still humbled by the selection telling Al Koken, “it’s something I wasn’t sure was ever going to happen [in my career].” Wideman tallied his fifth multiple-point game the season and skated a team-high 27:29.
• Beyond his first period goal, Alex Ovechkin‘s most noteable moment of the night was the peace sign he flashed to the crowd when the Capitals honored him for being named to his fifth All-Star game on the jumbotron.
• And personally, I’m just a huge fan of this Alex Semin hug.

Joe B suit of the night

With the win and Florida’s loss tonight, the Capitals are now two points behind the Panthers for the Southeast division lead with a game in hand. After everything that happened in the first half of the season, this seems incredible to me.

After a 11am practice Saturday at Kettler, the Caps will face the Carolina Hurricanes at home Sunday night. And just as a heads up, it’s a funky 5pm start because of the Ravens game that day. We’ll see you then!

Sorry, Puck Buddys fans. The dudes skipped town last night and didn’t even leave a phone number. They could be in Marrakesh raising an army horde of bonsai kittens or playing Stratego with Sherpas in Tibet. We. Just. Do. Not. Know.

So yeah, the Capitals won that bout with the Penguins, but was that not one of the weirdest meetings between the two you’ve ever seen? Neither team seemed too interested in the whole “shooting” mechanic of hockey, and Matt Cooke didn’t even curl his evil mustache or malevolently pet his shaved cat once. With that humble 1-0 win, the first half of the Capitals’ season ended. It was a mess of a type we have not seen since Glen Hanlon’s reign.

But there are 41 pristine games ahead of us, starting with… [checks schedule] aw dammit! Tampa Bay Lightning woeugfbwieugwe

Tampa Bay Lightning Fun Facts

• We expected the Bolts to give the Caps a little chase for the SE lead. Instead, the Bolts are in 4th place– 8 points behind the also-struggling-but-not-nearly-so-bad Capitals. They’re atrocious on the road with a 6-15-3 record.
• Victor Hedman is the Dave Steckel of the Tampa Bay Lightning. His boarding hit on Sidney Crosby on January somethingth of 2011 ended Crosby’s season and beyond. Hedman is now nursing a concussion that he caused by boarding himself. It’s like raaaaaain on your wedding day.
• Tampa’s best player by a mile is still Steven Stamkos, who is rocking a league-best 29 goals. He’s head and shoulders above the rest of his team.
• Martin St. Louis is my giant of Lannister. 10 goals and 23 assists for a guy we make fun of a lot, but who is actually a terrific hockey player that we wish were wearing Caps red.
• But he’s not, so he’s short and weird.
• We don’t even have grudging respect for Steve Downie, whose continued employment in the NHL is embarrassing.
• Friday night will be just the Capitals’ second meeting with this Southeast Division rival. The first match was in early October, a shootout win. Alan May called the Caps “thick and proud” that night. What an odd fellow he is.
• Starting on Friday, the Caps and Bolts will meet 4 more times this season, 3 times in Tampa Bay. Have you ever been to Tampa? It’s like taking a shower in reverse. You come in clean, and then within 5 minutes you smell like you’ve been playing handball in a sauna.

Here’s the best part: You remember Dwayne “The Stain” Roloson? He was the old guy in the cage who stopped 123 of 133 shots (a modest .925 save percentage) to end the Caps’ post-season campaign. At the age of 42, Rolo appears to have hit the wall. In 21 games, he’s rocking an .880 Sv% and a GAA of 3.76. He is killing this team. Please please please let him be in net on Friday.

Evil coach Guy Boucher is not happy with his team’s work ethic of late. Check out what he told the Tampa Bay Times:

It’s like Alcoholics Anonymous. Until you say that you’re an alcoholic you can’t make the steps. Players maybe felt a sense of entitlement, so it’s good it’s internalized. Before they were being told but it wasn’t internalized. Now they realize where they are.

Weird. Contrast/compare with this infamous Bruce Boudreau’s quote, spoken about a similarly sucky squad:

If I have to teach them how to be tough … well then I don’t know how to do that.

Man, now I’m all sad again.

Okay, all better.

There are a couple good Lightning peeps on the Twitters that we got to know during the playoffs. If you’re looking for their side of the story, follow these guys:

• Raw Charge, an SB Nation blog
• Damian Cristodero, long-time coverage for the Tampa Bay Times newspaper
• Erik Elrendsson, beat reporter for the Tampa Tribune newspaper

The puck drops at 7 PM on CSN+. Yeah: Plus. Apparently the four remaining Wizards fans who miraculously survived the mass suicide called dibs on CSN proper.

The work week is over. Kick off your shoes, crack open a tallboy, and then rove through the city like a pack of wild dogs scavenging for a TV that actually gets CSN+.

Crash the net.