Photo credit: Else/Getty Images

On December 1st, 2010, the Washington Capitals stomped out the Blues 4-1 in St. Louis. It was a perfectly serviceable win, and insignificant by most accounts, except that it would be the Caps’ final W for the next two-and-a-half weeks. For the next eighteen days, our beloved team would suit up in their gear for the sole purpose of discovering new and exciting ways to break our hearts.

On December 19th, the Capitals finally snapped their eight-game slump with a rousing victory over the Ottawa Senators. We thought it appropriate to mark the passing of the wicked streak in the same post-mortem fashion that we gave last year’s 14-game winning streak. So this will be just like that, except miserable and with fewer free buffalo wings.

Stars 2, Capitals 1

The Capitals almost had this one tied, but John Carlson’s GTG was waved off due to goalie interference. This game saw Ovechkin pouncing on Adam Burish after an open ice hit against Marcus “off-limits” Johansson. Because it was the first game of the streak, we were of happy spirits and remarked on Alan May’s welcomed game-time commentary.

Thrashers 3, Capitals 1

The Capitals fired 46 shots at Ondrej Pavelec, but scored only once– courtesy of Alex Ovechkin, who was ending a personal goalless slump at the time. Backstrom went 5 for 17 on faceoffs. There was some awful officiating, but we knew even then that Capitals weren’t playing hungry enough.

Maple Leafs 5, Capitals 4 (SO)

Matty Perreault joined the Caps and scored two. Schultz broke his thumb. The Leafs had a dumbfounding comeback that took us all the way to the shootout. The Caps lost to a flagging team at home base because they stopped fighting. But it was looking across the scoreboard and seeing the Penguins win their 10th straight that really hammered home how bad this was getting.

Panthers 3, Capitals 0

Shutout. Brilliant. The Caps had eight powerplay opportunities and did nothing with them. The Panthers scored right before the first intermission, and HBO captured for posterity the implantation of the Capitals players’ asses within their heads. I clapped sarcastically because it’s a coping mechanism, and I am weak.

Avalance 3, Capitals 2

If Alex Semin was a stronger dude, he would have decapitated John-Michael Liles. His crosscheck earned the Caps a five-minute penalty kill and an undisclosed fine for the dude himself. The Capitals had one scoring chance in five minutes and thirty seconds of powerplay time. It was an awful game, but the coach and players gave some baffling post-game interviews where terms like “rock bottom” and “turned the corner” were thrown around. Little did they know…

Rangers 7, Capitals 0

BAM. The Rags by a touchdown. No one can score. Ovechkin has to fight. Boudreau gets frazzled and uses grown-up words. Yeah, the flu is going around, and 55 is hurt, but the play is still awful. So we decide to panic, creating a step-by-step instruction set for Caps fans who are losing their minds. And then we drop the curtain on RMNB, replacing the strident colors you see now with Lord Voldemort’s menacing maw and sad faces all around. We still await the report that Joe Beninati has burned the suit he wore that night.

Ducks 2, Capitals 1

We had pumped ourselves up for this one, thinking that our positive thoughts would make a difference. All we got was a goal from Brooks Laich and a bunch of ringing posts. Mike Green played half an hour of hockey on what we later learned as a sprained MCL, which is insane. My recap was kind of short because it’s hard to type while curled in the fetal position, weeping like it’s Toy Story 3 all over again.

Bruins 3, Capitals 2

Matt Bradley put 22 players on his back and tried to carry the team to victory up in Boston. He scored a goal and got in a fight, but the team didn’t really get in gear until the final period. That last 20 minutes of hockey was a thing of wonder: shots were 26-2, but the Caps only got one goal from the effort. Tim Thomas was kind of a stud, but then again– he didn’t face a single shot until 8 minutes in. Eric Fehr would have been scratched, but MP85 was feeling flu-y, so he played and did stupendous. I called Neil “waddles” because he played that word in Words With Friends for 96 points and beat me.

* * *

During the streak we did our share of soul searching and bargaining. Neil offered several fact-based pieces that should have encouraged us, but ended up pushing our desperation further with each following defeat. Six-game Losing Streaks are Rare made us marvel at the statistical implausibility of our pathetic fortunes. Poof! Goes the Offense had one RMNB staff member considering monasticism. Neil had the foresight to ask Is Two Days Enough? when analyzing the team’s win percentage after various rest periods. But Greenberg struck gold with How to Guarantee a Caps Win, which documented the team’s happy outcomes when the top line’s scoring chances finally convert.

For my part, I offered one attempted Eff Yeah moment, an octet of PTSD flashbacks in the form of game recaps that you can find above, and a late-night musical paean to our misery as depicted on HBO’s 24/7.

We also ran a series of stories that seemed like harmless personality pieces at the time, but in hindsight form a worrying narrative. There was some cute, plaid-wearing fun at the Movember party, John Carlson and Nicky Backstrom being darlings with little kids a the Sculpture Garden skate, Schultz and Hendricks dressed up as ‘stached 70′s policemen at the British Embassy, Brooks Laich cavorting with Justin Bieber at a Toys for Tots event, Ovie getting a clean shave, and the adorable story of one doll’s journey to HBO. All of these are totally valid and fun items to read, but they now perpetrate a representation of the Capitals that lacks the bloodthirst these games so direly needed. But if anyone has a video of Mike Green volunteering at a bulldog rescue, please send that over right quick.

So the streak is behind us. This retrospective was painful, but necessary. We’re a stronger team now– with a sturdier fan base. Coach Boudreau is somewhat vindicated: winning using his system and his motivation in equal portions. The players demonstrated palpable joy in playing a crash-the-net brand of hockey that is just as much fun to watch. And we’ve learned that the sport might turn on you sometimes, but that you should never turn on it. Grumpiness doesn’t win hockey games; it just makes recapping them really tedious.

On January 12th, 2010, the Washington Capitals got smacked down by the Tampa Bay Lightning. That game was marked by a lack of focus, weak goalie performance, and an insufficient will to win. It was only Alex Ovechkin’s fourth game as Captain, so the loss might have hit him hard (see Bradley stealing his fight). Something about that 7-4 scrubbing might have woken the team up.  Maybe that loss was the impetus for the 14-game winning streak that followed.

In honor of The Streak (R.I.P.), the Russian Machine takes a fond look back at how it all came together.

1/13, @ Panthers

The Caps would overcome a 4-1 deficit to send this game into overtime. Jason Chimera showed his speed in an second-period goal and proceeded to earn a Gordie. Mike Knuble was robbed of a goal. CSN’s Joe Beninati said, “Vokoun vacuums the puck” about a million times. The shootout (some call it a gimmick) lasted twelve long rounds before Tomas Fleischmann’s wrister ended it all. 5-4 (SO)

1/16, Vs. Leafs

The Caps soared in this match, even if it descended into fist fights half a dozen times. Mike Knuble lusted after the hat trick, but went home unfulfilled. Jose Theodore was almost perfect. 6-1 Wings!

1/17, Vs. Flyers

Philadelphia made the tactical error of placing Ray Emery in net. Alexander Semin played like Daredevil and got two points. Tom Poti and the blueliners also looked like superheroes while snuffing out the Flyers’ offense. Alex Ovechkin scored the hot wing goal on a penalty shot. 5-3 Wings!

1/19, Vs. Red Wings

Jose Theodore stops 44 pucks, which probably pissed Detroit off a lot since they outshot the Caps two to one. Matt Bradley scored a goal without bleeding in the same game, which happens less often than you’d think. David Steckel did that deflection goal thing we love him so much for (see: Playoffs 2009). The penalty killers were flawless. 3-2

1/21, @ Penguins

RMNB spent the day griping about the last time the teams met. Mike Green had the flu or something. Eric Fehr scored with a sneaky stuff. Mike Knuble picked up the trash. Flash scored on the breakaway. Ovechkin makes empty net goals a regular occurence during the streak. Japers Rink and Puck Daddy hosted a rad party. Everyone tried to act like beating the Penguins wasn’t a big deal. It was. 6-3

1/23, Vs Coyotes

RMNB uses the word “streak” for the first time not in reference to public nudity. Semin had a goal and three assists and generally looked awesome. Neuvirth played in net for the first time since the Bolts beatdown, and he played just fine. Ovie scored on an empty net again. The Caps take first place in power play conversion. 4-2

1/26, @ Islanders

Pretty much everbody gets a goal, except for Alexander Ovechkin, who surprisingly wasn’t pissed. Alexander Semin makes his two goals unassisted just to look cool. Jose Theodore tweaked his hip and had to be replaced by Neuvirth, who did a great job. 7-2

1/27, Vs. Ducks

RMNB correspondent Stevie K. attends the game and takes hilariously bad photos. The Caps run roughshod over the not-so-mighty Ducks, scoring three goals in three minutes. The Ducks decided that hockey was for wusses, so they just start fighting. 5-2 Wings!

1/29, Vs. Panthers

Those crazy kids, Mike Knuble and the Hat Trick, just can’t seem to get together. Sarge joins the goal parade. #52 gets 52 points in 52 games, then gets suspended for an elbow to the head because some loudmouths at TSN were looking at a bad angle. Bruce Boudreau for the first time acknowledges the streak and says he is “touching wood all the time.” RMNB staff snickers like 12-year olds. 4-1

1/31, Vs. Lightning

The streak begins to overtake individual games as the overriding narrative. The game is tied until 7 minutes remain, when Ovechkin got the go-ahead goal. David Steckel mindf&#@s Vincent Lecavalier into an unsportmanlike penalty in the last 5 seconds of the game. The Caps tie the winning record set by Craig Laughlin’s 1984 team. Everyone recoils from moustache flashbacks. 3-2

2/2, @ Bruins

Jose lets only one puck past him (again). Almost everybody agrees that this streak is as much his as it is Ovechkin’s. Brooks Laich grabs the GWG for the second time during the streak. Ovechkin gets the empty net goal for the third time during the streak. Alex Semin reverses his trend towards perfection with three minor penalties. The Caps set a new record, and everyone gets kinda drunk. 4-1

2/4, @ Rangers

Gaps in the defense start to show, as Jose Theodore cannot stop five goals. Nicky Backstrom has a huge game with five points. Alex Ovechkin reaches 500 career points with a stupid awesome goal: he treats Lundqvist’s pads like a ramp. D.C. and surrounding area hear word of an impending storm, but we’re sure it won’t be so bad. 6-5

2/5, Vs. Thrashers

The Snovechkin begins. Ovechkin breaks a stick, gets another, scores. Mike Green returns from suspension to get an empty net goal, the third of the streak. Mikey Neuvirth stops 44 pucks! Semin hooks Brooks up with the pass of the year, and Brooks scores. Then Semin steamrolls Neuvirth and scores on his own team. John Erskine is wicked in a fight. 3-1

2/7, Vs. Penguins

The Penguins have a hard time getting to D.C., which is buried under 3 feet of snow. NBC Sports covers the game and thinks every player is Mike Knuble. The Pens get a 3-goal lead, but Alex Ovechkin says nu-uh. Ovie gets the Hat Trick, breaking a season-long drought for the team. Jeff Schultz gets a slashing penalty for using telekinesis. Mike Knuble gets the overtime goal and the Gordie. Ian draws an awesome picture of him. The Penguins go home in disgrace, and no one ever watches NBC again. 5-4 Wings!

But not yet.  Let’s consider for a moment that hockey has changed a great deal in the 16 years since the Pittsburgh Penguins won seventeen games in a row.  Salary caps have done a lot to normalize talent across teams.  During a post-game interview on the 10th, head coach Bruce Boudreau made a compelling case that the Caps 14 games may have been harder to achieve than the Penguins 17.

So what did the streak give us?  One hat trick, two Gordies (Chimera, Knuble), three empty net goals, four games without Mike Green,  one white-knuckle shootout, four free meals of wings, two Penguin cullings, $81,606.21 in fines, heroic cycles for Brooks Laich and Mike Knuble, the Caps’ ascent to the top of the East and NHL alike, 500 points for Ovechkin, three Caps in the top 4 for plus-minus, Alex Ovechkin back in the goal scoring lead, and five feet of snow.

I’ll take it.