Goodbye, Salad: Tom Wilson Has Cut His Hair


Photo: @tom_wilso

Thursday night, some of the biggest news all summer broke on Instagram. Tom Wilson cut his hair.

Let’s take a closer look at his lettuce-less salad.

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In the wake of the Caps’ season end, I was curious how the Caps fan community felt. After six years of RMNB and a decade of Ovechkin, I wondered who you thought makes up the pantheon of most favorite Caps players.

I asked the good people of Twitter, who had not yet descended into heartrending reactions to a world that is becoming increasingly like The Purge and also PokeMon Go strategy tips, to rate their favorite Caps players of Ovechkin era from 1 to 5, with one being intense hatred and five being omg bff.

What I learned will shock you. Turns out people like Ovi.

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Here’s a Photo of Nicklas Backstrom Grilling


Photo: @pt_andreas

Without NHL defensemen to smoke on the ice, Washington Capitals all-star center Nicklas Backstrom has turned to grilling to get through this summer of solitude. In a photo taken by Nicky’s personal trainer Andreas Öhgren, the Swedish center cheeses in an Under Armour shirt and shorts after a workout in his hometown of Galve. In the caption, Öhgren calls Backstrom a #grillchef.

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Lucca Carlson Stepped On The Capitals Logo


Photo: @jc7474

John Carlson’s adorable son Lucca unwittingly committed a hockey no-no by crawling on the Washington Capitals’ logo in their weight room at the Kettler Capitals Iceplex Tuesday. “Trying to be a goalie????” wrote Papa Carlson in an Instagram post.

Like most teams, the Capitals have an unwritten rule forbidding anyone from stepping on their logo. The logo is roped off in the locker room throughout the season, but the same respect must be given during the summer – even on this slide board thing.

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Mike Green Got Married, Looked Excellent

mike green married

Photo by @paul_dubs

Washington Capitals defenseman and fashion icon Mike Green has gotten hitched. Green married girlfriend Courtney on Saturday night in Calgary, as documented by Green’s friend Paul Woloshyn on Instagram.

Green, freshly shaven, looked slim in a simple tux with a bowtie.

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Alex Ovechkin Has Favorited One Tweet; It Was His Own


Tampa’s Steven Stamkos set off a mini firestorm this week just by favoriting a tweet that wondered aloud if he might ever play in Toronto. One month earlier we saw the same thing with Winnipeg’s Evander Kane, who favorited a tweet requesting that he come play for the Flyers.

Social media is a wild and wacky world; one that we as a society don’t fully understand. I deal with this a lot in my day job. Stuff is just not clear. Twitter’s “favorites” feature in particular is kinda poorly designed. It means different things to different people, and the feature is not nearly as private as the name suggests.

But the point I really want to make is this: Alex Ovechkin has favorited just one tweet, and it was his own.

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Fake Mikhail Grabovski Tweets At You, Thanks Obama

Update: This is a fake/parody Twitter account. We’re sorry for the confusion.

I guess this is a good time for you to follow @Grabbo84 (#grabonotgrabbo). He’s a bit of a character in 140 characters. I’m just gonna delicately sidestep around the Obama reference since we all know it was Eleanor Holmes Norton was the one who made this deal happen.

Either way, here comes another product of the former Soviet Union to our fair city. Time to update the RMNB tagline!

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Brooks Laich’s New Twitter Avatar is Perf (Photo)


So Brooks Laich went digging through his house and found a gem: a photo of himself as a kid with his brother (far left) and a friend who is a dead ringer for a young Nail Yakupov (middle). I sympathize the buffoon who doesn’t love Li’l Brooksy’s t-shirt.

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“I’m not a Republican. I’m not a Democrat,” 51-year-old Tim Lepard yelled passionately into his mic. After a very necessary dramatic pause, the cowboy told us what group he really identified with: “I’m an American.” The Frederick crowd roared with approval.

That quote summed up a strange night at Harry Grove Stadium, where it was both Cowboy Monkey Rodeo night and Rubber Ducky giveaway night (and fireworks too).

Somewhere in there, a minor-league baseball game between the Frederick Keys and Winston-Salem Dash happened too. It was no less weird.

Keys’ starter Trent Howard got ejected in the third inning for yelling a very audible eff you to the home plate umpire. Miguel Chalas, his replacement, then struggled with control issues, hitting four Winston-Salem batters. In the fifth inning, I caught one of five Mattress Discounters Warehouse stuffed animals trebuchet’d into the stands by Keyote, the Keys mascot. Boomshakalaka.

The Keys lost their (game-long) lead in the ninth and then won it back at the bottom of the inning when Brandon Hardin walked Glynn Davis [shudders at the thought of the name] with the bases loaded.

That was just the opening act. When Lepard came onto the field with three leashed monkeys riding dogs and four very skittish rams, the crowd erupted.

The monkeys, dressed — naturally– in wild west baby clothes, herded the rams twice, while Lepard — crowned Mesquite Champion Bullfighter in 1988 — told us things like, “I’m living the American dream.” Lepard, who’s currently filming a reality TV show with A&E which will air later this year, appeared more winded than his livestock by the end of the show.

I documented my night at the ballpark in 40 photos. Please enjoy. And yes, this really happened.

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Allan Walsh, Jason Chimera, and Androgenic Alopecia

Allan Walsh and Jason Chimera

Allan Walsh, Octagon Hockey’s sports agent supreme, represents a whole bunch of NHL players, including our own grinding forward/ice cheetah Jason Chimera. Walsh, who spent six years prosecuting gang bangers before making the jump to hockey, is a bit of a bulldog on social media. Even before the 2012 lockout, Walsh had built a reputation of provocation and antagonism towards management, the league, and the press. On Thursday, Walsh showed his softer side, inviting everyone to a friendly Q&A on the #walshachat hashtag.

We wanted to ask him something smart, but it’s August.

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