Okay, he’s just showing off now. (Photo credit: @mpoindc)

Alex Ovechkin shot a commercial for Verizon on Wednesday afternoon, and the extras were… well, pretty much everybody who walked past Verizon Center. Our own resident artist Rachel Cohen was at the event and gave us the scoop. Ovi, dressed in his full Washington Capitals gear, walked out through the front doors of the Verizon Center holding a bundle of hockey sticks. The Russian machine approached some passersby and asked if they’d like to play some pick-up with him. And then, right there on F Street, they played. Really.

The Red Rockers came out of Verizon Center to cheer on Ovi. The PA voice of the Capitals, Wes Johnson, did play-by-play. Owner Ted Leonsis and John Walton were there as well.

The game was three-on-three. Ovi picked players out of the crowd to play every few minutes. Judging by the chatter, a little game of flash shinny with the Great Eight has changed some lives.

@ovi8 you made my day when you handed me the hockey stick that you played with during the commercial

— The Social Butterfly (@cheesiepeesie) March 27, 2013

A #Capitals surprise on the streets of #DC today. Thanks for the fun, @ovi8 #Ovechkin! twitter.com/PamelaBrossman…

— Pamela Brossman (@PamelaBrossman) March 27, 2013

I was just within 10 feet of Alex Ovechkin. No big deal. twitter.com/ChiSportsLife/…

— CSL Mike (@ChiSportsLife) March 27, 2013

Hockey players are the best. They are so frigging down to earth.

Here are some more photos from the day.

Photo credit: @SergeyKocharov

Photo credit: @washcaps

Photo credit: @washcaps

Photo credit: @krenz105

Photo credit: @GeorgeWNEW

Ovi and Wes. (Photo credit: @wesjohnsonvoice)

Photo credit: @mkpanda78

Photo credit: @ZacharyLeonsis

In early August, Maryland-native Katie Ledecky won a gold meal at the London Summer Olympics. The 15-year-old had the second-fastest swim of all-time in the 800-meter freestyle. For RMNB readers, the best part about the victory however was the revelation that she’s one of us.

In 1999, when Ledecky was two-years-old, her uncle Jon partnered with Ted Leonsis to purchase a stake of the Capitals and Wizards. The night Michael Jordan was announced as a co-owner of the Wizards, Katie was photographed sitting in the owner’s box with the basketball legend scribbling in a coloring book. According to The Washington Post’s Sally Jenkins, Katie has gone to hundreds of Caps games with her brother and was a total geek about it too, knowing every player and all of their stats.

That’s why on Sunday, to celebrate her 16th birthday, Leonsis had Katie sit in the owners box once again and honored her with her very own Caps jersey.

Photo credit: @AshleyWeber

The sweater was personalized with her last name and the number one on the back, both in gold. Capitals hall of fame defenseman Rod Langway presented her with the jersey during a TV timeout.

Photo credit: @Love4Greenie

During the second intermission, Ledecky also had the chance to do an interview with CRL’s Guerin Austin and do a live spot with CSN’s Al Koken. Katie, who couldn’t stop smiling during the Koken interview, revealed that her favorite Capital back in the day was Adam Oates (photo) and that he used to go to the same Starbucks as her.

Funny how times change. Now some little kid can say they go to the same Starbucks as Katie.

Photo credit: @KatieLedecky

A before and after shot of Wes with his health coach Elaine.

On December 6, 2012, while the NHL lockout was in its 82nd day, employees of the Washington Capitals game entertainment crew reunited for hockey for the first time in seven months. The Caps AHL affiliate, the Hershey Bears, played the Norfolk Admirals in front of a sold out crowd. Hours before the game, arena employees met near the Caps locker room area for a briefing.

As PA Announcer Wes Johnson entered the room, Michael Wurman, Director of Game Entertainment and TV Products, pointed over to the man that many referred to as “Big Guy.” “There have been quite a few changes over the offseason,” Wurman said with a big smile. “And one of them just so happens to be sitting over here: Wes.”

The room gave Johnson a round of applause. “It was very gratifying,” Johnson told me in a phone interview. “And a little embarrassing too.”

“You’re probably in the last five to ten years of your life”

During a winter day a few years ago, Johnson walked out the front door of his Virginia home to run a few errands. As he made his way to his car, the 51-year-old actor, voice-over artist, and comedian, slipped on a patch of ice in his driveway. Despite his five-foot, nine-inch height, Johnson took a big tumble to the ground, ripping ligaments in his ankle.

When Wes went to get his ankle checked out, the doctor was more concerned about Johnson’s weight. With a busy work schedule and three kids at home, Wes saw his weight balloon over the years. The PA Announcer was also too charitable with his time, never quite able to turn down a request to hang out after Capitals games. “You don’t want to give up the after-the-game meal,” he told me. “You don’t want to give up going for drinks with folks.”

After years of constantly doing things for other people, finding no time for exercise, and putting no limits on what he ate, his body pushed back: hard. Johnson became diabetic and had to take multiple medicines for high blood pressure.

“You know, Wes,” the doctor began. “If you don’t do something about your weight, you’re probably in the last five to ten years of your life.”

“That’s pretty scary to hear,” Johnson admitted.

The doctor recommended Johnson have a gastric bypass, an aggressive surgery which reduces the size of a person’s stomach to force weight loss. Today show weather man Al Roker lost 150 pounds due to the procedure.

“I was nervous about that,” Wes said. “That’s a permanent solution. A permanent change to your body just so that you can make something else take over with the will power that you can’t muster yourself.”

He went home with a brace for his ankle and a lot on his mind.

A Chance Encounter

Before one of the final home games of the 2011-12 regular season, Wes went upstairs to the press area to hoard some refreshments.

“I was getting a bunch of bottled waters to take down to the penalty box area where I emcee, because once you get inside the penalty box for the game, you’re locked in there,” Johnson explained. “You don’t come out for intermissions. During a playoff game, you could suffer renal failure because you’re in there for overtime after overtime after overtime.”

As Wes was stocking up, he ran into another Verizon Center employee, Elaine Rom. Rom, who has worked for the Capitals since 1996 as a camera operator, is also a certified health coach during the day with Take Shape For Life, a division of Medifast. When Rom saw Johnson with so much water, she was intrigued. It usually signals someone who is on a diet trying to lose weight.

“For a lot of people, drinking a lot of water is the hardest part,” Rom told me in an email. “So I started a conversation with him and asked if he really drinks all that water. He said he does. Then I told him what I do.”

“Now if you’re a heavy-set guy, and if someone starts talking to you about a health coach thing, you get the same alarming sensation that you would get when a Jehovah’s witness asks for a few hours to talk,” Johnson told me. “But she was really nice. She told me that there were things she could do to get me back to a better weight. She said it in such a cool, casual way. She gave me her number, and I didn’t think anything of it.”

“I look at this way,” Rom said. “A lot of people would love to choose health over being unhealthy, most of the time they don’t know how to get there. If you don’t open this door for them, you’ll never know if this could’ve been the program to turn their health and their life around.”

The two would run into each other once or twice again. One night, she even visited Wes after a game at the penalty box where he sits. “I started thinking more and more,” Johnson said. “Maybe this is something I should do.”

Pulling The Trigger

At the end of May, after the Capitals were eliminated by the New York Rangers, Johnson continued his conversations with Rom. He decided to pull the trigger on the weight-loss plan.

“Sticking around for my family was a huge influence on me,” Johnson said. “My sons– I have two of them in college and one’s mid-way through high school– and I want to see them all graduate. I want to see them get married. I want to see them have kids.”

Johnson continued: “Being around for my wife. I’ve waited my whole life for somebody as sweet and as wonderful as her.”

There was one tiny caveat, however. Johnson would begin Rom’s plan in five weeks on Independence Day or as Wes put it: “my independence-from-weight day.” Before then, he wanted a few weeks to say goodbye to some, um, close friends.

“The last few weeks of June,” Johnson said. “You’ll never see someone eat as shittily as I did.” He called his binge “The Wes Johnson Foods-I-Love Farewell Tour.”

First, Wes went to Mario’s and had a foot-long Triple Cheese and Egg sub. “You eat one of those things and it knocks you in a coma for three days,” Johnson said with a laugh. Another night, he went to the Irish Channel and had some sirloin dips. Finally, the PA announcer went to The Celebrity Delly in Falls Church, where they have a sandwich named after him. The “Wes Johnson” is grilled roast beef, melted Muenster cheese, creamy cole slaw, and Russian dressing served on grilled sourdough.

Then July 4th came around, and it was time to get down to some serious business.

“The first week I lost 18 pounds”

On July 4th, Johnson went on the Medifast plan, a diet consisting of five small meals and one lean and green meal per day.

The first week was tough as Johnson found himself eating smaller portions than he was accustomed to. After just a few days, he noticed a difference. “Your metabolism starts to catch up,” Johnson said. “For the first time since my mid-30′s, my metabolism came back. My metabolism was suddenly working again.”

Even after just a change in diet, Wes saw immediate results. “The first week I lost 18 pounds,” Johnson revealed. “It was incredible. And then I continued on.”

Johnson lost anywhere from one to five pounds per week, posting his weekly weigh in on his Facebook timeline. He began to take brisk walks around his neighborhood. Three weeks into the diet, Wes went to the gym. He made a new friend: the elliptical machine. “At first I started walking for about 10 minutes,” Johnson said. “Then I’d go to 15 minutes,, and then I’d go a little farther.” Johnson was shedding weight.

About a month into the diet though, there was a scary moment. The family went on vacation to Busch Gardens in Williamsburg, Virginia. One day while he was there, he felt woozy, close to passing out. Fearful there was something seriously wrong, Johnson went to see a doctor.

“You know what it was?” Johnson recalled. “It was the fact that I was getting healthier and my blood pressure medication I was taking was suddenly too strong. It was over compensating. So the doctor lowered it.”

What could have been a set-back actually became a galvanizing moment for Wes’s turnaround.

“Now I’m going over 4 miles and 40 minutes on the elliptical,” Johnson said. “I love going out and walking. I go for a brisk mile walk, even in the winter time. It’s wonderful.”

Most importantly, he has the support in Rom that he never had before. “Elaine has a sixth sense. If I start to waver, I will suddenly get a text from her and she helps me out. It’s nice to have a little angel on your shoulder.”

The Less Johnson

Since Johnson began his Medifast diet and exercise regiment, he’s lost 92 pounds in six months. He’s been taken off of two blood pressure medications and, oh, by the way, he’s no longer diabetic.

Not only does Wes feel better in general, the weight loss has helped him land new acting roles. He was in a national VISA commercial with Ray Lewis and landed a role in Veep, an HBO series, featuring former Seinfeld star Julia Louis-Dreyfus. “Would I have gotten those if I weighed 90 pounds more?,” Johnson rhetorically asked. “I don’t think I would have. It puts me in a brand new weight-category as far as acting is concerned.”

Johnson’s dramatic weight loss has inspired those around him. Rom and Johnson recently met with other Caps fans looking to lose weight. After hearing his story, five of them started with the Medifast plan and are already losing weight. Even Capitals owner Ted Leonsis has reached out to Johnson. “He was proud of my effort and he said it was inspirational. Then I turn around and I see Ted’s losing weight too.” During the Capitals home game Sunday against the Sabres, CSN panned to a svelte-looking Leonsis looking on from his lower-level suite.

“Wes is this genuinely passionate and kindhearted person,” Rom said of Johnson. “You can’t help but root for the guy. He’s made me shed a tear or two along the way.”

Meanwhile, I wondered what Johnson thought about the fact that now that he’s on the diet, he can’t even eat his own sandwich at The Celebrity Delly.

“I’ve gone in there many times with people since and I encourage them to order the Wes Johnson Sandwich. But I order myself a salad. I think eventually, I would like for them to have a Wes Johnson sandwich and a Less Johnson salad.”

Yeah, Celebrity Delly. I think Wes deserves that.

Capitals owner Ted Leonsis has been the target of criticism since he was named a “hardliner” during the NHL lockout. We’ve observed the decline in his prestige, documented some fan protests, and even proffered a scheme to repair relations with the fans. Addressing the media at Thursday’s Caps Fan Appreciation Night at Verizon Center, Leonsis finally had the chance to discuss his role in the lockout, and he amiably rejected the hardliner label ascribed to him.

Regarding the “hardliner” claim, Leonsis laughs it off. He cites an opposing negotiator who called him “Uncle Ted” and says Leonsis was “really nice” during the talks. To Leonsis, the league and the union were the main parties in the discussion, and his role was more as a proxy.

Leonsis states that his main interests in the negotiations were a 50/50 revenue split and a long-term deal. He got both of those things. So…  was it worth it?

Leonsis has every right to try to make his business profitable. He says he’s never made “a penny of profit” from owning the team, and that is certainly damn good motivation to make a change.

If this is truly the time for reconciliation, then I guess we have to root for Leonsis to make some money, considering that his business has already brought so much positive externality* to the community.

So I ask again: Bygones?

* And yes, I did just use positive externality in an article about hockey. If I can work in bespoke by the trade deadline, Ian has to buy me Qdoba.

James and Shannon show off their jerseys at Front Page Arlington. (Photo credit: Ian iPad)

On Sunday, the Washington Capitals officially opened training camp at Kettler Capitals IcePlex in front of about 1,000 raucous Caps fans. There wasn’t an empty seat in the bleachers, and rows of red-clad fans, four to five people deep, surrounded the rink. It was as if the lockout never happened.

But there were some fans not in red. They stood out from the pack, and that was intentional.

Ryan shows off his awesome beard and his Swedish national team jersey.

“I wanted to come here, but I specifically did not want to wear something Caps-branded,” Ryan Fisher told me. “It’s my own ineffectual protest.”

Fisher, wearing a bright yellow Swedish National jersey with the number 19 and Backstrom sewn on the back, said he was fed up with the NHL’s latest tiff with players. “It’s annoying that it’s the same thing happening,” Fisher explained. “Three straight CBA’s have expired and three straight lockouts have happened. You would think someone would want to get their act together.”

But the NHL hasn’t. The league has lost part or all of its seasons on three occasions during the life of most fans, giving it the worst track record of all major sports in that respect.

And now some fans have found a nimble way to express their disgust for the league without abandoning the players they love: wearing their overseas jerseys.

Sitting with his wife Becky in the front row of the stands, Brandon Peiler caught my eye wearing a blue Dynamo Moscow Alex Ovechkin jersey. “As me and my wife were keeping an eye on the lockout talks, we became less and less positive,” Peiler told me. “We wanted to support the Caps players in some way.”

James Murphy and Shannon Morse, Capitals season-ticket holders who own six seats near the top of Verizon Center, also made the trip to Kettler. Murphy, dressed in a blue Brooks Laich Kloten Flyers jersey, and Morse, in a black and green Tom Wilson Plymouth Whalers ditty, stood in front of the glass near the net. They arrived early to get a prime standing position.

“We had a hockey budget, and we weren’t spending it,” Murphy explained on the jersey choice. “We were frustrated at Ted and the NHL so we spent our money on other places actually playing hockey.” Also new in Murphy’s wardrobe is a Dynamo Moscow Nicklas Backstrom jersey and a Filip Forsberg Leksands IF jersey.

Brandon shows off his Ovi Dynamo jersey.

Murphy went to great lengths to get his new jerseys. Using Google translate, he sent emails to the Kloten Flyers and Leksands websites. “I hoped for the best when I sent the emails,” Murphy said. “Thankfully, it worked out.”

The quiet protest of these fans — supporting their favorite individual players without supporting their team– marks a shift in attitude towards its owner, Ted Leonsis. For most of the last decade, Leonsis enjoyed the role of an avuncular benefactor.  He built an exceptionally entertaining team, made himself accessible to fans, had the most blogger-friendly media policy in the league, and engaged in tons of charity work.

And now, the labor dispute in which Leonsis was allegedly a “hardliner” has eroded much of that good will.

“For Ted specifically it was a double standard of he wants to create happiness and it’s a public trust to own the team,” Murphy said. “I’m not sure how he enhanced the public trust with this lockout.”

“Everyone could have predicted what the final CBA would have looked like,” Morse interjected. “So why put everyone through this?”

“I loved Ted before,” explained Murphy. “But now, he went from high-flying internet stock to an Enron-like crash.”

“He’s got to earn the trust back,” Morse said. “It’s absolutely gone.”

Regardless, the two’s love of hockey is too great.

“It was hard not to feel like a sucker coming back, but we also love the game,” More said. “We didn’t want to punish ourselves.”

Thanks to Katie Brown for the help on the interviews.

Photo credit: Michael Loccisano

Just posted on his website, via the man himself:

I know Capitals fans – and hockey fans around the world – agonized the past few months; I apologize for my role in not being able to help us reach a more timely agreement. I’m sorry it took this long.

Read the whole thing on Ted’s Take. What do you think? Is it an empty PR gesture or a genuine first step towards reconciliation? What comes next? If you care, I give it a lot more weight considering it came from the same guy who wrote The Business of Happiness (good book, give it a read).

Photo credit: Len Redkoles

Over the past eight years, there have been too many games lost to lockout, especially for a “fringe” sport that once had lower TV ratings than poker. In 2004-05, the NHL scrapped a whole season to cram a salary cap down the players’ throats. If that weren’t enough, in 2012-13, fans lost 34 games because the owners and players played chicken with record-high revenues, finding compromise only when the drop-dead date drew near. It’s friggin’ stupid.

We’ve lost 116 games in which Alex Ovechkin would have played at or near his prime.

On Monday, the Pittsburgh Penguins handled things right. Ron Burkle, Mario Lemieux, and CEO David Morehouse just straight up said sorry.

“We offer our apology,” the note said. “There is nothing we can say to explain or excuse what has happened over the past four months.”

Capitals owner Ted Leonsis sent out his own message on Sunday. There was no apology. Instead, it was an empty PR-y message that sweeps nasty feelings under the rug, assumes support, and looks forward.

“Thanks to all of you for your patience, support and understanding during this process,” Leonsis writes in his closing paragraph. This message was sent out during the middle of the Redskins’ first playoff game in five years.

I was not patient, supportive, or understanding of this lockout. I’m sure a lot of you feel the same way. Two fan comments near the top of the page articulate how a lot of people in this area feel right now.

“100-plus days of locked out hockey and you expect two paragraphs is going to do… what, exactly?” writes ZacharyB. “Show us you care? Forget it, Ted. You’ve lost this fan for a very long while.”

Mr Ka-Boom! goes a step further: “I have asked for my money back. I am done with [hockey.]”

The fact is Leonsis, reported to be one of the hardline owners during negotiations, has some fences to mend. I’ve got an idea on how he could begin to mend those fences.

Ted, on Opening Night, you should donate your suite to the loyal season-ticket holders who had been left out in the cold until now. Instead, sit with fans in the upper bowl of Verizon Center. Let your most ardent supporters eat exotic cheeses and drink fancy wine. Come upstairs. Shake hands and sit with the people who have given hundreds and thousands of dollars (a big deal in this economy) to support your team and make it among the best in the NHL. Painting “Thank you, fans” on the ice will not suffice. You know that.

This is your opportunity, Ted. Take the challenge. It’s not a publicity stunt, it’s an opportunity to genuinely interact with fans. And if you want, I can tag along. I’ll help absorb any popcorn thrown your way.

Our readers have suggested this idea and ones like it in our comments and emails to thecrew@russianmachineneverbreaks.com.

Think it over, and let us know what you think. You have been one of the most ardent supporters of RMNB; let us help you extend the first olive branch to fans this year. We promise, like everything we do, it’ll be a big deal, and hopefully, everyone will be left smiling in the end.

I guess it’s appropriate to start by saying that we’re all unimaginably happy about the return of hockey. That said, we’ve learned a lot over the four-month lockout, and this seems like the appropriate time to take stock.

Lesson 1: Mario Lemieux was right

The NHL is a garage league. I’m not talking about riff-raff players spoiling up the staid finesse hockey of a bygone era; I’m talking about business competence. Since my adolescence, the NHL has lost part or all of three seasons. Fans who have been following hockey for a decade have seen 20% of that time obscured or obliterated by lockouts.

Imagine running a business where you do work 80% of the time. The rest of the time you’re struggling to master a skill most functionally social humans learn in kindergarten: sharing. Your business plan is flawed.

The last lockout saw the NHL exiled to cable wilderness, almost literally. In an effort to limit salary expenses, the NHL ended up limiting their TV exposure for years, which had to have an appreciable effect on revenue. Revenue-sharing was at the heart of this lockout, so in some ways this lockout was just an extension of that one.

Or perhaps it’s an extension of expansion. We know many teams– particularly expansion teams– are drowning in red ink. Columbus and Phoenix have solubility problems. Nashville would be in dire trouble too if they weren’t such a good hockey team with a surging fan base. These teams exist because the NHL saw fit to spread itself into non-traditional (read: not northeast US and Canada) markets, but those teams have always struggled. Phoenix for a time was underwritten by the league itself.

I propose that the friction between established teams and small-market teams had as much to do with this lockout as friction between owners and players. In fact, the PA’s negotiating strategy initially tried to wedge the two apart. It seems hard to defend expansion as a business strategy when you consider a) the league has had to bail these teams out, b) the gap between small teams and big teams underpinned many of the NHL’s concerns in the lockout, and c) it’s ice hockey in the freaking desert– how is that a good idea?

I guess what I’m trying to say is: Gary Bettman is not good at his job. Feel free to agree or disagree.

Lesson 2: DC is not a hockeytown

Or at least, it isn’t right now. Flashback to April 2012: the Caps had captured the city’s imagination with a gritty style of hockey. The city’s football team was atrocious and without a good draft position. The city’s baseball team was plagued by injury and youth. The city’s soccer team had missed the playoffs a few years in a row. The city’s basketball team was a disgrace.

Since then, Dan Snyder made some deals to draft Robert Griffin III second overall, and RG3 then vaulted the team to an NFC East Championship. The Nationals were fantastic and made the playoffs (so did Baltimore, nyah nyah). Under coach Ben Olsen, DC United had its best year since they won  the MLS Championship in 2007. The city’s basketball team is still a disgrace.

The stack ranking of DC sports has flipped. It seems for now that the Washington Capitals’ moment has passed. It can certainly be recaptured, but right now we’re taking stock and that stock has definitely dropped.

Part of that is Ted Leonsis’ fault. The Capitals owner was listed among the league’s so-called hardliners spurring the stubbornness that led to breakdowns during negotiations. Unfortunately, Ted probably can’t comment on the CBA or his characterization as a holdout. When he talked about the NBA salary cap in September of 2010, Leonsis was fined $100,000. He’s not really in a position to defend himself, which is fine, because we’re not really in a position to give him a hard time about it. After all, he did keep the Capitals staff on payroll for the duration of the lockout.

Leonsis has the benefit of the doubt. Up until now (and excluding the Jagr era), he’s been a good owner for the fans. This is now his opportunity to reconcile with a community that has cooled towards him.

Lesson 3: Evgeny Kuznetsov and Dale Hunter were right to leave

Throughout 2012, Evgeny Kuznetsov vacillated over playing in the NHL or staying in the KHL. His new marriage and the upcoming Sochi olympics probably factored in to his eventual decision to stay in Russia for two more years, but the loss of half this NHL season makes that choice even more prescient. We’re no longer inclined to criticize a player for making a business decision that has worked out great for him so far.

Same goes with Dale Hunter, a coach for whom I had no shortage of criticism last season. Hunter chose to leave the Caps after just one partial season as head coach. He’s back in Ontario, coaching a team he also owns, which plays in a league that doesn’t implode every 7-10 years. However we disagreed with his coaching tactics, Hunter’s choice was the smart one for him, his family, and his farm. Even Bourne agrees.

Lesson 4: There was a cost

As The Washington Post’s Katie Carrera wrote last month, the lockout has been devastating to businesses near Verizon Center. The end of the lockout will come as great news to the Penn Quarter/Chinatown neighborhood, who rely on the collective thirst and hunger of Caps fans to pay their bills. Here’s hoping all our favorite joints can staff up in the coming weeks.

Same for the workers at Verizon Center, who lost hours due to the lockout.

Then there’s the marginal players who couldn’t make a pro roster once the ranks got crowded with eligible NHL players.

And don’t forget the esteemed hockey writers who had to lower themselves to menial and demeaning tasks like writing about football just to fill up the hours.

There’s lots of people with jobs related directly or tangentially to the Caps, and most of them had a leaner Christmas than usual because of the lockout.

It’ll take time for the coffers to fill and the wounds to heal, but it will require a spirit of reconciliation for that to happen. That’s why I’m not supporting any kind of boycott. Just the opposite actually: I want to go to Iron Horse and Clyde’s and Rocket Bar and scarf down a ton of food and a few too many adult beverages. I want to tip the good workers at Verizon Center and tell them how glad I am to see them again.

And I harbor no hard feelings towards Evgeny Kuznetsov or Dale Hunter for making the right choices for their careers and their families.

And I hold no grudge against Ted Leonsis for whatever role he played in the lockout. He’s got a sterling record of fan outreach, and I bet that will continue.

Gary Bettman, on the other hand? Well, let’s just say that when the Stanley Cup Finals arrive, I’ll be joining in on this tradition:

Alright, that’s my piece. What did you learn from the lockout? What did I get wrong?

Leonsis and Bettman attend a screening of ‘Nanking’ back in 2007. (Photo credit: Brad Barket)

On Wednesday, Gary Bettman and Donald Fehr exchanged new proposals to once again try and avoid a lockout. The NHL sweetened its offer to players, proposing a new six-year deal that would initially give the NHLPA 49% of all hockey revenue (down from 57%) and not force a rollback of salaries. The NHLPA countered with a deal that would start them off at 54.3%, and which over time would drop their slice of the pie to 52.7%. Bettman is also threatening to take the NHL’s current proposal completely off the table if it’s not signed by Saturday.

There have been no new developments since then, however, and the actual signing of a new CBA before midnight on Saturday still seems unlikely. So in that vein, Washington Capitals majority owner Ted Leonsis sent out an email to the Caps season ticket holder base early Thursday evening explaining protocol on what would happen if there is a work stoppage and declaring “that the NHL’s priority is to reach an agreement with the players.”

The full text of the email is below.

Dear [Season Ticket Holder],

As you know, the National Hockey League and the Players’ Association are in the process of negotiating a new collective bargaining agreement. The current CBA expires Sept. 15, and while we hope to successfully reach an agreement by that date, there remains the possibility that negotiations for a successor agreement will not be concluded and a work stoppage may ensue. If that happens, training camps may not open on time and games may be cancelled. If that occurs, we have adopted a set of policies and procedures regarding your season-ticket holder account.

Obviously we will not charge your account for any NHL game, preseason or regular season, that is not played. If an agreement is not reached by Sept. 15, we will suspend our monthly payment plan and your account will not be charged until further notice. In appreciation of your continued support and loyalty we would like to provide you with a 1% APR interest on the funds you have on account related to games that are not played. In the days ahead you will receive additional information that goes into greater detail regarding the interest and refund policy.

I want to assure you that the NHL’s priority is to reach an agreement with the players. We all want to talk about exciting games, upcoming opponents and great plays, not the nuances of labor negotiation. We get it – and I empathize with you.

All of us at the Capitals appreciate your support and the passion you bring to Verizon Center. In a few short years you have turned our arena into one of the best and loudest buildings in the NHL. We all appreciate your loyalty, and I hope to see you all very soon at Kettler Capitals Iceplex and Verizon Center.

With my appreciation and gratitude,
Ted Leonsis

With only two full days left in negotiations, it’s not looking too good.

Monday night, Brendan Shanahan suspended Alex Ovechkin three games for his hit on Penguins defenseman Zbynek Michalek. Tuesday morning, George McPhee announced that Ovi would be pulling out of the All-Star Game and its festivities in Ottawa. “Because he’s a suspended player, he doesn’t feel like he deserves to be there, so he’s not going to go,” McPhee told the gathered media. “He doesn’t want to be a distraction to the event.”

Fair enough. Yet Ovi’s decision to skip All-Star weekend has been met with criticism from some and anger by others. St. Louis Blues winger Andy McDonald tweeted a “a classless move by Ovi ‘opting’ out of the NHL Allstar Game.” What they don’t seem to realize is that Ovechkin has lots of other important things to be doing with his time. First things first, shaving-cream pie Mathieu Perreault.

It’ll be twelve days between when Ovechkin was suspended and when we next see him on the ice, so in the meantime, here are a few things we think he might be up to.

Record his First Solo Rap Album

Featuring the smash hit “Nuthin’ But a Red Light Thang”

Get a New Pet

“Ghera gon’ love this.”

Play Basketball with the Washington Wizards

… and get Flip Saunders fired again.

Go Bird-watching

I saw it! I swear Gah!

Take his Girlfriend, Maria Kirilenko, to Disneyland

And apparently get some new tattoos.

Go to Dinner at the White House

He doesn’t want to be a distraction to this dinner.

Catch Up on “Downton Abbey”

so sick))))

Learn to Eat His Vegetables

Russian machine needs its vitamin B and E!

Start a New Fashion Trend

“I call it: pants on top of pants on top of PANTS.”

Learn to Knit

“Gon’ stich new number hat for Sasha!”

Join the Red Rockers

C-H-A-R-G-I-N-G!

While Shirtless, Present Signed Pucks to Chad Kroeger of Nickelback

Luckily, Chad Kroeger already has a song about being sad about a photograph.

Learn to Drive Safer

“Look, Ted!! No Hands!!”

Play in a Ball Pit

Shortly after this Ovechkin was suspended from the ball pit for three days.

Feed the Ducks

Bruce, is that you?

Additional photoshopping and hilarity by Ian Oland. The kangaroo is all his fault.