My girlfriend teaches a lesson to her fifth graders: RUSSIAN MACHINE NEVER BREAKS.

Sometimes there are pinnacle moments in your life when you look at your significant other and go: Yes, you are the one for me. And today was one of those days. Since I was too busy slaving away on designing Vacation Rental Websites on the other side of Columbia, I’ll let Ashley tell her story. I hope you enjoy.

As a teacher in a conservative school, it’s not often that I get a lot of choice on my wardrobe. Today, however, was the finale of our spirit week, “Jersey Day.” Though I have managed to collect a few random t-shirts from the Capitals, Ravens and the Orioles, I have never made the jump to a costly Capitals jersey. So I donned my secret weapon, my incredible smile, and allured my boyfriend Ian into lending me his sacred signed Ovie jersey.

The conditions for the loan were thus; that I not eat, drink, or go outside in it, that I lock it up when doing one of those things, and that I take pictures for RMNB.

My school had a variety of sports teams, from Maryland to the Colts. I did pose for a photo strangling one poor girl with a Roth-berger jersey, but it was too violent to publish.

I proudly strutted with my oversized Caps jersey, realizing that it’s hard to discipline and manage kids when my sleeves are too long even to show my hands. I have a good enough Capitals base at my school to hear a few whispers of, “Is that really Ovie’s signature?” behind me as I ran copies and searched for troublemakers.

Coincidentally, I had promised a few of my students that we’d play hockey today after school, and that was a blast. I got the only adult-sized hockey stick and played on the blue team, a.k.a. my homeroom. We found a few fourth graders and played 3-on-6. When more 5th graders showed up, I took the happy neutral position of blowing my whistle when the fourth graders did something annoying or odd. I pretended that they were the Penguins, and sure enough, we -I mean, my students- won the match.