Oy. (Photo credit: Patrick McDermott)

[Editor's note: With RMNB's Peter Hassett out in California for the week, the PuckBuddys recap the latest Caps loss.]

Sometimes, platitudes are the only comfort we have. Like “Third time’s a charm!”  Or “All in to win!” Or “Shomer f—-n shabbos!” Yeah, like that.

Be real. We went into this game feeling queasy; like Taco Bell Doritos Volcano Nachos queasy. Walking into Verizon we were already outscored two-to-one in the first two games; an unappealing start. Some pointed fingers at Coach Adam Oates‘ inability to instill discipline. (Those worries may have been answered by Oates’ curious decision to bench Marcus Johansson and Matthieu Perreault, and then re-start Matty.) Some demurred that the team is still learning a new coach and new style, and we’re willing to go some distance here. A few fickle fingers pointed at under-production by Ovi, Holtby, Greenie, Carlson…

Enough. Tonight brought one hard answer: the Capitals aren’t firing.

The first frame saw some testing on both sides of the other’s defense. Good efforts by Green, Backstrom and Ribeiro, and a surprising amount of icing from Montreal. Michal Neuvirth made several great saves (a few too close,) and we were hopeful with Nicky’s late flick to Wojtek Wolski until Ovi spoiled that. The PPs yielded nada, leaving both teams relatively balanced both offensively and defensively (though the Habs lead with hits.)

Second period: oh crap, 5 on 3? Ovi and Brouwer leave the Caps naked, yet Beags and Carlson, while never clearing it out, keep the Caps alive. Then with only :04 in the first PP, Plekanec cracks one in (with Markov on the assist) bumping the Habs up 1-0. Moments later, Andrei Markov (with Pacioretty) snaps one over Neuvy’s shoulder bringing the Canadiens up 2-o. Oxygen slowly leaving Verizon. Can it get worse? Yes. Rene Bourque sails it down the side and snaps it to Brian Gionta, who knocks it past Neuvy, tippling the score at 3-o. You want more? Francis Bouillon, on assist from Josh Gorges, blows one past a clueless Neuvy; Habs go up 4-0, Caps fans register their displeasure.

Third quarter squishes out with pretty much everyone in the wrong spot at the right time. Shots still favoring the Caps, although you’d never know that. Time dribbles by, our RMNB editors suggest a game recap isn’t even worthwhile. We soldier on, as does Matt Hendricks. At least someone’s trying. So is Beags to Chimera to Joey Crabb! Well at least John Carlson’s hair won’t get shutout, even though he’ll get one last penalty.

SCORE: Canadiens 4, Capitals 1

• Circus of the Stars: It’s not a perfect measure, and we’re sure someone (all of you) out there will get all up in our grill about this, but this game saw better performance by those who are supposed to perform. By that we mean the stars: Greenie, Alzner, Carlson, and our newest star, Tom Poti. Of course, performance ultimately means winning, and what we’re seeing so far is more appropos of the Washington Generals. Leading to….
• It’s Not All First: These last three games the Caps have performed generally well in the 1st, actually scoring and defending. We’ve seen deflation in the second, and belated rebound in the third, too late. So, let’s shoot more in the second and third, and defend better.  In fact the Caps have spent far and away the majority of their time on the ice trailing. So that means…
• Rebound Nobound: It’s easy to say, and hard to do; we get that. But we’re seeing too many one-shot runs at the goal. Ovi, Green and Ribeiro seemed to work it hard, but we’re just not working well on second effort. We’re trying to be kind here, people.
• Mains Tied Behind Our Arrière: The Capitals roster hosts some of the most talented hockey players alive. What is going on that we have our hands tied behind our backs? Penalties have been pummeling us – just about every time we get one of our guys on the bench the other guys sink the puck. Of course it’s not time to…
• PANIC! FIRE EVERYONE! FIRE BOUDREAU AGAIN IF IT HELPS!  Oops.
• Honk Honk Honk: So hurrah, Horn Guy is back home, and the crowd rallied. The fans are ready for better. Better yet:
• RMNB Rules: So here’s something to honk about – Fedor Fedin‘s analysis was cited in the CSN pre-show AND Joe B. quoted Olie Kolzig who was quoted in Ian’s post on Neuvy’s new goalie mask. Hey, victory where we can find it, right?
• Hero: Adam Oates is a bona fide hero. Hero play maker on assists, hero turn remaking the Bolts and Devs, freakin’ here Hall of Fame inductee. So OK, we said that. It’s unfortunate he need to figure out being top coach in an abbreviated season. But that’s what he needs to do. Be a hero once more, Mr. Oates.

What Did We Learn Tonight? (WDWLT): Well we hate to say this, but Neuvy is streaky. Offense is halting. Defense is filled with holes. In short, the team does not look good. Paraphrasing the newly-signed Flyer Mike Knuble from last year, the Caps are “…playing like clowns and losers.” Oof. They don’t need us to say that: it’s obvious. So guys, stop playing like that. That’s what we learned. Oh, and maybe Sasha was actually important for the Caps chemistry. Something’s obviously missing; unless someone can give us something better, we’re saying it’s Sasha.

Joe B suit of the night

What’s Next?: Stimulating Newark!  Home of hairspray, hopelessness and the Devils! (And haha, yes we know Newark is in New Jersey, even if we were but a bit confuzled about the exact Province of the Black Pit of Winnipeg.) We’ve said before that our biggest worries this season for the entire conference exist in our Southeast Division – looking at you Tampa and Carolina. But that said, the Devs are among out greatest threats in the entire conference. Patrick Elias, Ilya Kovalchuk – even old goat Martin Brodeur.

Repeat after us: the season isn’t over. The season isn’t over. The season isn’t over.

And remember – this isn’t our fault. Although we think our RMNB masters are beginning to re-think asking us to write the recaps.

Neuvy smirks after taking a Rene Bourque slapshot off the mask. (Via @WashCapsRock)

The Washington Capitals’ season is still on shaky ground. Buffalo’s loss to Pittsburgh on Friday kept their hopes alive, but Saturday’s game versus the Montreal Canadiens held huge determinative power. Perfect time for a Comebackstrom.

After having his initial shot blocked, Alex Semin found a wide-open Mathieu Perreault in the slot, for a one-timer. 1-0 Caps. Unguarded in front of the net, Matt Hendricks hit Jay Beagle with a cross-crease pass to put the good guys up 2. Erik Cole then scored a momentum-killing goal with one minute left to go in the first.

In the second period, the Canadiens dominated. Tomas Plekanec tied it up when he went around a slow-skating Roman Hamrlik and scored on the backhand.

After multiple scoring chances for both teams in the third period, the game went to Overtime. Then the shootout. Thanks to goals by Matt Hendricks and Alex Semin, Caps win 3-2.

Do you like my new fanny pack? (Photo credit: Suzanne Kang)

• Alex Semin ended his penaltyless streak after finishing a check late in the first. Like his last penalty 8 games ago, it was a soft whistle. He’s not Matt Cooke or anything, but Sasha has certainly cleaned up his act.
• The Caps opened up hot with 12 shots in the first frame. But, like usual, they backed off big-time, allowing the Canadiens to catch up in the possession contest. This problem does not appear to be going away anytime soon.
• In fact, the Habs’ second goal was the result of the Caps being unable to sustain possession. Hemmed in their own zone for so long, Hamrlik (who looked ginger after a hit along the boards) and Wideman were unable to end their shift.
• No Nicklas Backstrom under the hood? Regardless of the circumstances, I’m disappointed.
• Michal Neuvirth took a puck to the throat late in the second, prompting Caps trainers to rush to his aid. But Mikey is made of sterner stuff and got right back up.
• The Caps didn’t play as if the season was riding on this game, but they had to have known it. A disorganized offensive effort and passive presence in their own zone convey a team that has given up. Like, ya know, the Habs.
• The guys who played best were the ones we expected least. Like Jay Beagle, whose timely goal and aggro PK service created a nucleus for an otherwise diffuse team effort.
• Matt Hendricks scored in the shootout, but that freeze move seems to be losing its mana. The word is out. Probably because of guys like us.
• Nicky is back. That’s pretty much all there is to say about that. He was a bit shy along the boards, but that’s understandable. He still managed to have 2 shots and win 12 of 18 face-offs in 19:38 TOI.

Joe B. suit of the night

Pregnant women and people with high blood pressure should not have
been watching this hockey game.

Thankfully our friends in Toronto bested the Sabres, granting our Caps sole possession of 8th place. Fruit basket to those guys– someone make it happen.

Yeah, not the statement game we needed, and not an apt reaction to the team’s circumstance. But points are points and it’s Saturday night and Nicky is back and the world is okay.

Crash the net.

Additional reporting by Ian Oland.

Backstrom in pain after taking an elbow from Rene Bourque. (Photo credit: AP)

We don’t need to tell you again. Every person in the DC area can probably tell you that the Caps need centers right now. In fact, with the new revelation that Nicklas Backstrom might be out for longer than we thought, the situation just got a little more dire – Ted Leonsis has stated that the Caps will be looking to make additions at the deadline, and there are some very specific pieces they’ll be looking for.

“I liked the team we had put together this summer. Of course we’ve only had that team on ice for eight games. We’re 8-0 in those games.” George McPhee told the Washington Post’s John Feinstein. “I still think if we get our guys back and if we can add something here in the next couple of weeks we’re good enough to win the Stanley Cup. Then again, a lot of teams are looking to add something right now, too.”

There certainly are, and it’s a thin market this year, but it certainly looks as if the Caps plan to be buyers, not sellers. With that in mind, here’s a shopping list of possible additions the Caps could make at the trade deadline, based on practical likeliness, scurrilous rumors, an idea of which teams may be looking to sell at the deadline, and other arbitrary factors.

Jeff Carter, Columbus Blue Jackets

Photo credit John Grieshop

Cap hit: $5,272,727
Covet Him Because: Those sexy career numbers. Carter has posted two 30G seasons, one 29G season, and one eye-popping 46G season so far–the elite scoring touch is clearly there. In fact, despite missing more than 20 games with the Blue Jackets this season, he still has 12 goals and 19 points.
Red Flags: They’re everywhere you look, this man is a red flag factory, he’s a bottle with a skull and crossbones on the side. Jeff Carter was unceremoniously dumped from Philly in a move that was openly advertised as cleaning up the locker room, with rumors of “Dry Island” following him out of town. He certainly hasn’t improved that reputation in Columbus, with a bad attitude to start and a losing season where he’s either been just another passenger on a sinking ship or once again – poison. He’s also got a monster contract – nearly $6 million a year until 2021, that’s right, 2021 – and injury problems this season, but despite allll of that, there will always be teams interested in a center with that kind of scoring touch.

Derek Roy, Buffalo Sabres

Photo credit Joel Auerbach

Cap hit: $4,000,000
Covet Him Because: Before this season, Roy had put up four straight 20G+ seasons with the Sabres, peaking with a 32G season. He’s a smart player, and durable for his size, and at 28 years old he would count as veteran experience for a team that could use some steadying.
Red Flags: He’s small, listed at only 5’9, and he’s also coming off a losing environment in Buffalo, but history shows he can produce consistently. Caps would have to hope this year is a fluke.

Batman, Justice League

Photo credit Alan Fichner

Cap hit: Justice.
Covet Him Because: Intangibles. This is the man you want in your locker room when you’re down one goal in a playoffs game. Besides, that voice could be scary on the faceoff dot.
Red Flags: Has previously shown an aversion to ice. Also, his habit of disappearing at random probably won’t sit well with the press.

Sam Gagner, Edmonton Oilers

Photo credit Robin Brownlee

Cap hit: $2,275,000
Covet Him Because: He’s trendy. This is what guys drinking chai lattes and listening to bands you’ve never heard of want you to do. That Sam Gagner. So hot right now. Other than that? Oh, a little thing called fourteen points in four games. Freak.
Red Flags: He seemed to be very much on the trading block before he went Super Saiyan, and then briefly back on again as Oilers GM Tambellini got dollar signs in his eyes – but then Ryan Nugent-Hopkins went down, which may or may not have taken him off again altogether. The Oilers would probably still be willing to part with him for the right price, but the Caps aren’t a team that have that arm and a leg to spare. Also, obvious talent regardless, do the Caps really want to swap one small, skilled center for another?

Tomas Plekanec, Montreal Canadiens

Photo credit Richard Wolowicz

Cap hit: $5,000,000
Covet Him Because: I can admit it. This is a bit of a pet armchair-GM trade for me, I’ve thought he’d be a good fit for awhile, but with the Canadiens tanking hard this year, it’s finally just a little bit more likely. He’s got a career .66 point per game average and five straight 20G+ seasons, but he’s also poorly used in Montreal, asked to be a leading scorer when his real value seems to lie in his skill as a defensive, two-way center and a playmaker. Want to know why Jagr got an NHL contract this year? He owes it to this guy, who made him look great while centering him for the Czech national team.
Red Flags: Plekanec is another small center for a roster that needs to add size, and as the Habs inch back into the playoff picture, they may decide they don’t need to move key pieces like Plekanec. Here’s hoping the downspiral continues in the near future so we can pick through the debris.

Wayne Gretzky

Photo credit Elsa Hasch

Cap hit: about $6,000,000
Covet Him Because: Scores in bunches, great hockey sense. Why don’t we already have a guy like this on our team?
Red Flags: He’s so small! He doesn’t hit! He probably won’t last. Besides, his PDO is way too high to be sustainable and it’s likely that he’ll regress to the mean.

Indiana Jones

Cap hit: One Aztec idol
Covet Him Because: Not afraid to go to the dirty areas to win one-on-one battles, Jones has a tenacity and resourcefulness that the team could use right now.
Red Flags: Seems to be a bit of a “wild card”. Likely will not be allowed to use a bullwhip on the ice.

Did we miss anyone? Which guy would you most like to see put on a Caps uniform? And considering how many fake options are in here just to make it look like a list, are the Caps totally screwed? Have at it, peanut gallery!

A game-changing fight? Matt Bradley fights Paul Mara immediately after Travis Moen's fluky goal. (Photo credit: Richard Wolowic)

#Winning (Photo credit: Richard Wolowicz)

Returning to the Bell Center for the first time since the ill-fated 2010 Stanley Cup playoffs, the Washington Capitals got a little bit of revenge Tuesday night, extending their winning streak to nine games in the process.

The game got off to a positively wild start with two goals and a fight in the first 1:48 of play. After Tomas Plekanec was called for a hooking penalty the Caps headed to an early power play. With a  lot help from the end boards, Marcus Johansson put the Caps up 1-nil as the dump-in from Dennis Wideman bounced right in front to the waiting Swede. Just 26 seconds later, however, Travis Moen tied things up on another odd play behind the net. Washington netminder Braden Holtby attempted to rim the puck along the boards but instead passed it right to Moen in the corner who fired the biscuit into the wide open net. Just over 20 seconds later the action continued with Matt Bradley and Paul Mara dropping the gloves right off the face-off in a bout that ended in a draw. At 13:23, Brooks Laich put the Caps on top 2-1 after picking up the perfect outlet pass from Karl Alzner, who was on the ice for nine more scoring chances and just one against. Whew. Another calm night in Montreal, I see.

Andrei Kostitsyn continued the back-and-forth play 3:28 into the second period, firing a wicked wrist-shot pass Holtby’s catching glove. Washington put forth a fury of shots in the remainder of the frame, racking up 19 for the period. It would be to no avail, however, and the teams would head to the third knotted up.

Johansson would strike once again at 6:43 in the final period, putting home a perfect backhand pass from Alex Ovechkin to give the Caps the lead. Just over ten minutes later, Mike Knuble would seal the deal converting on a two-on-one with Marco Sturm after Sturm delivered a perfect pass to the veteran winger. Take that, Frenchies. Caps top Habs, 4-2.

• Ovechstreak! Ovechstreak!
• Marcus Johansson‘s two goals were clutch. But it’s his skating, forechecking and willingness to shoot that’s impressed us. After chucking a game-high seven shots against Chicago on Sunday Johansson followed up that performance with four shots against the Habs. He was also on the ice for nine scoring chances for and only four against. Johansson’s confidence appears to be growing by the day.
• But it was John Carlson who might have been the Capitals player of the game. He drew the Caps first power play of the game 45 seconds in, rifled six shots at Carey price and blocked two more. He was on the ice for 14 scoring chances for — 10 at even strength — and only one against.
• Per Katie Carrera, Washington has outscored their opponents 13 to two in the third period during their current nine-game winning streak. That’s what I call a killer instinct.
• Braden Holtby gets a bullet not for his goaltending, but for his secondary assist on Johansson’s opening tally. It was the first career helper for the young ‘keeper and prompted this tweet from Caps prospect Andrew Gordon:
  

  If holtby gets more NHL points than me this year im going to be upset. Haha. I currently have a one point lead.less than a minute ago via txtAndrew Gordon
  AndrewGordon10

• Scott Hannan blocked a game-high six shots, twice as many as the next closest player.
• The quote of the night goes to Joe B.’s simile in the third period. After Holtby quickly broke up a scoring chance with his stick, Beninati said of the NHL’s reigning number one star “Holtby flashes the poke-check like a lizard tongue.” Wow.
• It appears Eric Fehr may have re-injured his shoulder just a minute into the second period after a collision just inside the Capitals baseline. After falling to the ice awkwardly he skated off the ice, seeming to favor his right side. The Capitals said after the game that he had an upper-body injury and would be re-evaluated tomorrow. Before sustaining his injury Fehr was on the ice for five chance -for and none against in 4:23 of even-strength ice time. It will be a huge loss for the Caps if Fehr’s services are gone for another long stretch of time.
• Matt Bradley gets a bullet for his heads-up first-period scrap with towering defenseman Paul Mara. After Holtby’s flubbed clearing attempt found its way into the back of the net 20 seconds after Johansson’s game-opening goal, it was Bradley who grabbed momentum back from the Habs with his dust-up.

• FYI: Matt Hendricks‘ no-goal was a goal. Someone tell the guys in Toronto to stop hatin.’ Regardless, Hendricks finished the game with five shots while registering three hits.
• Finally, Caps fans should send Pernell Karl Subban a thank you card for tonight’s victory. After Alex Ovechkin entered the offensive zone with a full head of steam the 2007 second round pick unwisely went for the big hit.
  

  Joe B.'s Suit of the Night

  Naturally, Ovechkin pushed him aside like a rag doll, found the puck in Subban’s skates, and tossed a pass to a wide-open Marcus Johansson for the game’s deciding goal. How did Subban react after Johansson scored? Immaturely. The Toronto native slammed his stick to the ice twice before pouting all the way to the Montreal bench. Subban is a great player, but he needs to grow up.

Now, it’s on to the Motor City as Washington will look to extend their winning streak into double digits. Won’t you join us?

Additional reporting by Neil Greenberg and Ian Oland.

It’s finally over!

If you’ve stood by your computer constantly hitting refresh like I did, then you know I am talking about the Kovalchuk Sweepstakes, which is reportedly a 17-year deal with the New Jersey Devils. Yes, seventeen YEARS. Yeah, that is a loooooong time.

We're going to party like it's 1993

How long, Neil?

Well, seventeen years ago Ace of Base ruled the airwaves, and The New Mickey Mouse Club got some new members: Britney Spears, Justin Timberlake and Christina Aguilera. So yeah, 17 years is a long time.

Time will tell if he’s worth it, but Kovalchuk has put up some serious regular season numbers in his career before his 28th birthday: 642 career points in 621 career games at the NHL level. Not bad for the the first overall pick in the 2001 NHL entry draft.

I will leave others to debate whether or not the contract is worth it or how it just laughs in the face of the current CBA, but you have to believe that at least one Russian in the DC area was intently watching these talks unfold: Alexander Semin.

With Fleischmann’s agent citing Plekanec as a comparable player for a salary increase, is it really far fetched to think Sasha’s agent will compare him to Kovalchuk this time next year looking for a similar deal? Probably not. And in a world where Derek Boogaard signs a four year deal at $1.65 million per year anything is possible.

A more appropriate comparable would be either Rick Nash (CBJ) or Thomas Vanek (BUF). Both have around 270 points in 300 NHL games since the lockout at the same age (25) as Semin’s 278 points in 275 games. Nash has 8 years left with a cap hit of $7.8 million while Vanek has 7 years with a cap hit of $7.1mil per left on his deal.

Either way, those type of cap hits would be more than the Backstrom deal – something I just don’t see the Capitals doing. That puts Semin in play on the UFA market and probably playing for another team either by free agency or via trade.

Will #28 still be in Caps red during the playoffs?  Stay tuned, Mouseketeers.

This man may be the answer to the Capitals Second Line Center Woes.

First, the Montreal Canadiens signed leading scorer Tomas Plekanec to a six-year, $30 million contract on Tuesday. Then, the San Jose Sharks sign Patrick Marleau to a four-year contract a week before he would have become a free agent. This eliminated the two best (albeit pricey) options the Caps had to fulfill a glaring need: second-line center.

So we panic right? I mean, it’s over, Johnny, right?

Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell no!

Is this Washingtonian photo contest (where my picture “ Taking in the Sights” is in second place and could use some votes) over? Nope. (Mostly because voting ends June 30th. Seriously go vote for me.)

Bet you’re asking, “Then who, hot shot?”

We’ll tell you who.

Because even though this NHL free agent season is sure to be overshadowed by a “scary” NBA Free Agent class, there’s a second-line center available that the Caps should target: Matthew Lombardi.

Don’t believe us? Okay, fine. Keep sitting there, re-reading the Plekanic and Marleau signings and entering numbers on Capgeek trying to figure out how the Caps can make a trade for one of them.

Keep on sitting there, ignoring that Lombardi brings blinding speed to the table and is one of the fastest players in the NHL contributing to a career-high 53 points in 2009-10.

Keep sitting there, ignoring that he plays good two-way hockey and is aces on the power play with 16 power play points while leading PHX skaters with 3:20 of TOI/Gm on the Power Play.

Okay, okay, he’s not a No. 1 center, but you get the point, right? I mean, Caps have a pretty good number one center now.

Speaking of things that should be number one, please go vote for me.

Let's forget tonight happened. Deal? (Photo by Mitchell Layton, Top Photo by Greg Fiume)

The time for analysis is through. This was the wrong kind of game to open the post-season especially after last year’s bitter ending. Playoff hockey isn’t cherry-picking at the blue line, waiting for an opponent to break down. Playoff hockey isn’t going 1-on-3 when your last name isn’t Ovechkin or Backstrom. Playoff hockey isn’t getting fancy and putting the puck through a defenseman’s legs.

Playoff hockey is going hard to the net. Playoff hockey is making your own bounces. Playoff hockey is ugly goals. There was not near enough of that tonight. Period. The Caps deserved to lose 3-2 in overtime, and they now trail Montreal 1-0 in the series.

Let’s get this over with.

• Each time a goal is scored because Tom Poti fails to clear the puck, that just means he hasn’t learned his lesson.
• Where was Alex Ovechkin? Every defender in the league knows he will try to cross, so it’s no wonder his shots get blocked. The Russian Machine made Jaroslav Spacek look like Zdeno Chara.
• The powerful hits populating the first half-hour of hockey were fun and impressive, but they clearly don’t win hockey games.  I’d rather see a smart pass than a devastating ka-bong.
• The power play should stop looking for Ovechkin  and start worrying about getting bodies in front of Jaroslav Halak.  Shots on net.  Shots on net.  Shots on net.
• The officials picked an odd time to start calling penalties, giving Mike Green a well-deserved minor for delay of game with 30 seconds left in regulation.  He should have gotten another two for tripping up the Canadiens’ overtime breakaway. Would have saved us some time and heartache, too.
• The inconsistency of the Caps’ offense can be traced all the way back to their own blue line. They completely failed to stage plays in their own zone or the neutral zone.
• Tomas Plekanec talked [stuff] about our goalie and then backed it up.  Good on him.  Chimera: fight him.
• Jose Theodore is an excellent goalie. Imagine how good he’d be with a competent squad of defenders in front of him and a stack of forwards who actually cared about backchecking. (John Carlson gets a bye.)
• And you know what? If Mike Green doesn’t want to be Mike Green, John Carlson will. Maybe someone should put an A on his chest.   He seemed like one of the few players who elevated their games and understood what playoff hockey is all about. Someone thank Dale Hunter for teaching this kid the right way to play. He’s gonna be a beaut.

Anyways, %$@# the ;Nads. See you Saturday.

Thursday will mark the fifth time the Montreal Canadiens and Washington Capitals face off this season.  The Internets are awash with intelligent analyses and strong opinions, and we were feeling left out.  So we got the RMNB team together and pounded a bunch of latte macchiatos with guarana infusions.

All we could come up with is five smart points that will characterize the series and then a handful of jokes.  Pity us and read on.

1. Secondary Scoring

Contrary to popular belief, having the best player in the world doesn’t necessarily mean playoff success or anything. I mean, the Caps can pretty much score at will, but that doesn’t mean we should be too bold – like, cause a “my goalie is better than your goalie” scandal. No, the only thing this Caps fan DOES guarantee is that eventually the second and third lines will have to score because the D-pairing of Spacek and Hamrlik put something on Ovechkin that Ajax can’t take off.

That’s why it’s Fehr to say I Laich Semin and Fleischmann in this series. (See what I did there?)

Japers’ Rink considers the individual match-up between Ovechkin and Markov to be key, and while it is true that Markov has played against the stiffest of MTL’s competition, consider the evidence from this season:

The Caps top line of Ovechkin-Backstrom-Knuble-Green-Schultz has one (1!) goal at even strength when Spacek and Hamrlik are on the ice. One. Goal. And that was a Backstrom tally February 10, 2010 when the Capitals lost to Montreal in OT 6-5.

Or how about during the game November 28, 2009 when Spacek and Hamrlik combined for 11 blocked shots of the night: 7 of those Ovechkin’s. You might be saying, “Well, yea, but Ovechkin scored that night!” True, but it was against the D-pairing of Spacek and Mara.

With Spacek and Hamrlik guarding him on the ice during even strength, Ovechkin has been held to 2 Assists in 4 games. And one of those assists is a secondary – not exactly Great 8 numbers.

It shouldn’t be a surprise that the combo of Spacek and Hamrlik have been able to shut down the top line of the Caps. They have also consistently played against the top opponents for the Canadiens and have a Goals Against of around 2.4 when they are on the ice, versus MTL GA average of 2.72.

Luckily for us Caps fans we have second and third lines that can light the lamp. While Montreal has their top defensive duo guarding the top line, it has let Fehr, Fleischmann, Semin and Laich pad their stats.

Vs. MTL this year:

Eric Fehr: 4 Goals in 4 games on 8 shots.
Alex Semin: 2 Goals/1 Assist in 2 games.
Brooks Laich: 3 Goals/2 Assists in 4 games.
Tomas Fleischmann: 1 Goals/4 Assists in 4 games

Yeah, these Hab Bashers sure make scoring a lot easier. I just wish they would make it easier to accept the fact that someday this as-yet-unidentified playoff beard fungus will reach my heart and end me.

2. A Well-tuned Russian Machine

Is this well-tuned enough, ladies?

Alex Ovechkin has been slumping since the Olympics, but now he’s on an uptick.  Maybe this isn’t a revelatory analysis, but keep an eye out for the Great Eight.   As stated above, the Habs have managed to shut Ovie’s out so far, but we expect this to end lickety split.

Your boy Dan Steinberg gave us the inside scoop on Ovie’s training regimen:

Ovechkin also brought his personal trainer over from Russia about two weeks ago; he’ll be here through the end of the season. His parents told me that he’s been tailoring his workouts so that he’ll be at peak condition at the end of this week, for the playoffs, and that this explained his recent scoring slump more than any concerns about being tentative.

Consider for a moment what Alex Ovechkin performing at peak levels would look like.  Once you’ve changed your underpants, we’ll continue.

I expect we’ll see a lot more action like this epic goal against Hamerlik.

3. Jose Freakin’ Theodore

Who’s got a .922 save percentage since March and a slamming playoff beard?  THIS GUY. José Nicholas Roosevelt Théodore (my girlfriend calls him “Hosay Teddy”) is playing some of the best hockey of his life, and he’s had the good taste to do it in a Caps uniform.

Jose Theodore was the best goalie, nay player, in the NHL in the ’01-’02 season.  Can’t remember what team he was playing with at the time though.  Since March, Jose has  been only .01 off his career best season average. (.931).  He’s had multiple 40+ save games and earned the adoration of the red legion.  If goalie drama dominated the first three months of the season, every moment since then Jose has just plain dominated.  The “I just work here” moment feels like forever ago.

The good folks at Le Centre Bell might have some boos in store for the Capitals premier netminder, but it won’t phase Theo.  His lightning fast glove hand is complemented by an iron-clad, analog hockey brain.  Rain pucks, Habs.  Jose’s got your number.

4. The Slumpy, Dumpy Habs

The Canadiens’ nickname is the Habs, short for Les Habitants.  Given the small number of francophones in our demographic, we’d like to offer another nickname:  The ‘Nads.

The ‘Nads have had a rough go of it lately.  Winning only three of their final 11 games, Montreal plummeted from sixth to eighth place and needed at least a point in its final game to clinch a playoff berth.  By the way, can we agree to stop saying “clinch a berth?”  It sounds gross– a wet and sticky maneuver you would need tongs to perform and then shower after.

‘Nads’ Home win percentage?  48%.  On the road?  46%.  And yet despite these stats, we get quotes like this, from Marc-Andre Bergeron:

I know there are people who are saying we won’t last long in the playoffs, but I really am confident we can win this.

Quixotic confidence, right there.  Hey, did any other players say anything stupid?

It’s not as though we were up against Brodeur or Miller. They don’t have a dominant goalie.

Yikes.  Silly, Tomas Plekanec.  He clearly didn’t read this article… which we’re still writing so that would be impossible.  Whatever.  The Caps should be glad that this sub-.500 team continues talking smack, so that they may be hoisted by their own petard that much more.  Meanwhile, Washington maintains subdued confidence.  Comeuppance will come quick indeed for the ‘Nads, unless it’s from Mike Knuble, in which case it’ll be a wee bit slower.   But it’s still coming.

5. The April Curse

Was anyone not glued to the TV set last spring?  In addition to the finale of Battlestar Galactica, we were treated to thirteen epic hockey games and one not-so-epic game.  The Capitals fought like hell to reach the third round, but they hit a wall.  By the third period of the Disaster Game, it was ugly.  The full list of injuries was not disclosed, but we know Mike Green had a bad shoulder, Ovechkin had a bad foot, someone had a broken bone in his hand, a couple people had the flu, and Donald Brashear had a bad case of suspendititis.

Merely a fraction the hockey gods pantheon

In December we worried that the Caps might be plagued by injuries all season.  Fortunes turned in the following weeks, but the final dozen or so games it seems like we might be seeing a resurgence.   H.H. Brooks Laich took a puck to the dome.  Boyd Gordon‘s 80-year old back started acting up again.  Mike Green might have had a sprained wrist.  20-year old Captain America John Carlson got banged up a bit.  Since then, Nick Backstrom had a 24-hour bug, and Jose Theodore gets a nasty whack in the arm that sent him off the ice.

Hockey gods, hear our prayer.  If the Caps must lose, let it at least be a good game.  A battle well fought between healthy teams is what we deserve.  If I have to see a grim-faced Mike Green gingerly wiping his flop sweat away while nursing a separated shoulder and H1N1 again, I’m gonna flip out.   Thanks for your time, 99.

Puck drops around 7 PM Thursday night.