Alex Semin’s agent Mark Gandler did not respond kindly to TSN analyst Marc Crawford’s fair and balanced screed about his client yesterday. He went as far as implying legal action.

“I can tell you that’s the worst I’ve ever heard an analyst say about any player,” Gandler told CSN Washington’s Chuck Gormley. “It’s just prejudice, and there is no place for that in the National Hockey League.”

Less than twelve hours after his rant, TSN’s Darren Dreger announced Crawford has accepted a head coaching position with the Zurich ZSC Lions, located in Switzerland.

Marc Crawford has the coaching bug. “Crow” has accepted the head coaching position in Zurich. TSN will miss him,but he belongs on the bench.

— Darren Dreger (@DarrenDreger) July 2, 2012

Sounds like a good move to us. Crawford’s slanderous craw is now headed to Zurich, far away from TV cameras and our radar. For a while, Crawford was considered a candidate the head coaching job in Washington, so we’re just grateful that didn’t happen.

It’d be nice to think of Crawford’s exile to Switzerland as an escape from the riotous hordes of Alex Semin fans, but that would be silly.

So here’s hoping this is the the last time we utter Marc Crawford’s name on RMNB, unless we’re talking about NHL04 and those weird coaching strategy videos.

“I have no idea what I’m talking about.”

The NHL Network was super awesome today. They aired TSN’s three-hour Free Agent Frenzy special, in which there was precious little frenzying. As a result, TSN’s panel of uh, experts– Pierre McGuire, Marc Crawford, Ray Ferraro, and host James Duthie–  had nothing to talk about. So they dumped on former Capital Alex Semin.

Huge thanks to @TrevorCampbell8 for the video.

James Duthie: I want to talk about two of the intriguing names still left on the board. Let’s start with the forward Alexander Semin. It is the skill that nobody on this board can question. If you actually look at his numbers compared to Zach Parise’s over the last few years, if you just go purely by goals — we’re not comparing him to Zach Parise as a player — but the numbers hold up very well between Alexander Semin and Zach Parise as far as goals scored: 31 to 38; 32 to 26; 45 to 34; and 38 to 40. Very, very similar numbers. Would you take a chance on Semin?

Marc Crawford: The difference is: one guy has a ton of character, the other guy has no character [exaggerated hand motions]. One guy scores 30 goals and doesn’t help his team and the other guy scores 25 goals, but helps [his team] in every single way. So yeah, I would sign him, but he’s going to be banished to a place like Columbus or something, and that’s what those guys do, head to the island of misfit toys [evil laugh].

Ray Ferraro: What about if he goes to a place where he respects the people around him?

Marc Crawford: I feel like a place like Detroit could bring him in and surround him with a Datsyuk. You gotta have a really, really strong group. There’s an old NHL General Manager that says,”Either take a guy that’s a complete winner or a complete loser.” And he falls in that category. Maybe they can change him. [Gets skeptical look on his face.] I don’t like… you don’t change that much. I’d be cautious.

Ray Ferraro: I guess if you’re desperate for the one shot then he can give it to you. But he doesn’t give you a whole lot else.

Pierre McGuire: This is not a great teammate. I’ll tell you that right now, not a good guy to have around your group unless you have unbelievably great leadership and rely on that. He’s the ultimate coach killer, that’s what he is.

All four guys: [Nod in agreement]

Wow. Where do we start?

This is the first time I’ve heard Alex Semin called a “coach killer.” I thought that distinction went to his other Russian (now ex-) teammate Alex Ovechkin. And how precisely does one decide that “this guy has no character” — and everyone on the board casually agrees — without knowing the guy? Instead of developing some kind of insight, it seems like Crawford just ran this equation:

Not Canadian + doesn’t talk much + Russian  = Soulless.

The whole thing stinks. No more than 10 minutes later, Pierre McGuire called Canadian defensive prospect Justin Schultz — who has never played a game in the NHL before — a superhero. Meanwhile Semin, about whom not a single kind word was said all brodcast, somehow still was ranked 7th in TSN’s free agent pool.

TSN purports itself to be the authority for hockey on television, but instead of enlightening their audience they just rehashed the same tired clichés about a player who has always been cordial to his fans and beloved by his teammates.

So who is the lazy one here?

Suffice to say, Mike Green was snakebit last year. The Caps defenseman dealt with freak injuries to the shoulder, knee, and hip and also managed to miss 26 of Washington’s final 28 games in the regular season due to a pair of traumatic head injuries. Green’s 49 games-played were the fewest he’s totaled in a single season since he came up to the NHL full-time in 2006-07. His 24 points were also 52 short of his career-high set in 2009-10.

Tuesday, TSN’s Jermain Franklin caught up with Green after a workout in Calgary and the 26-year-old spoke optimistically about his health, his goals for the upcoming season, and George McPhee’s offseason moves. The two-time Norris Trophy finalist also responded to Matt Bradley’s recent comments about Alex Semin and the Capitals supposed lack of discipline in the locker room saying,”if you’re not going to be committed this year, you’re not going to fit in with our team.”

A partial transcript of the interview is below.

Green on what he’s focused on over the offseason.

“You obviously have to recover physically from the season with your injuries. And then mentally. You know, obviously, we didn’t go as far as we wanted to. It’s been a bit of a disappointment throughout the last few couple of years in the playoffs. But, it’s over and done with. You put it behind you and it’s time to move forward.”

His thoughts on George McPhee’s offseason additions to the Capitals line-up.

“I think we added some depth. We got Troy Brouwer, Ward. We got a great defenseman in Hamrilk. And to top it off: a new goalie. Vokoun is experienced. Maybe that’s what we lacked a little on the backend was experience. And we got that now. Not only that, I think guys like myself, Ovechkin, Backstrom, and Semin need to be the leaders and step up. It’s time that we get committed and we get focused on the grand prize. Other than the travel and the physical side of the game, it’s trying to stay healthy throughout that 82 games. Unfortunately, I didn’t make it. I only made it half-way through. The important thing is I’m healthy now and I’ll make sure I stay healthy this season.”

On why his numbers declined last year.

“When you’re producing and your production is coming throughout the season, it’s usually in a flow and comes in long periods. Anytime you’re out and you’re in, you can’t get that feel for the game as well. Not only that, we switched our game plan up a little bit, and I personally wanted to be stronger defensively. That maybe affected the production. You know, I’m still learning, still adjusting to try and become that complete defenseman. That was one step I needed to take to get there. So now hopefully I can put it all together and be able to do both.”

On his recovery from last year’s concussions.

“Now that I’m better you really realize the symptoms and how scary it is. I’m 100% right now and I’m happy with that. I’m not trying to think about if I get another one or if I put myself in that position.”

On Matt Bradley’s comments about Alex Semin.

“We know as an organization what Semin is about. He’s one of the best players skill-wise in the NHL. Again, it goes back to everyone being back on the same page. I feel that if you’re not going to be committed this year, you’re not going to fit in with our team. I think that’s important that we address that and Matt Bradley definitely brought it out in the media. It’ll be dealt with when we get back for the season.”

Green’s goals for the upcoming season.

“The main goal is the Stanley Cup. In the past, we’ve been great obviously during the regular season and maybe a little too confident or whatnot going into the playoffs. You know, starting on day one, we have to prepare ourselves for the playoffs mentally and physically. I think enough is enough. We’ve wasted enough time here. We feel like our time is now, and we don’t want to let [our chance to win a championship] slip away.”

Click here to see TSN’s entire video interview Green.

H/T to Global Caps Fans