Happy Valentine’s Day to all you stupid lovebirds out there in Caps land. I hope you have a lovely day that’s not at all a compulsory and hollow gesture of affection for your significant other. If you don’t have a significant other, well that’s why Steve Jobs invented Netflix.
Me personally, I will use the occasion to share my wishes of good fortune to all our favorite Capitals players. Won’t you join me?
You guys ready for tonight? Be honest: some of you bailed on RMNB, the Caps, and hockey altogether after April. It’s okay. I don’t blame you.
I’ve made this video to catch you up on what happened over the summer and what to look forward to this season. I pounded a Mountain Dew before filming this, so it goes pretty quick. Enjoy!
Moar jokes from these two!
Before the Washington Capitals left for Olympic break, I asked the non-Olympian players what their predictions were for Sochi. That was great, but I also asked them where they were going on vacation.
Some players were heading home, some were heading back to Hershey, and then others — whom I will not name — might have fibbed a bit about where they were actually going.
Check it out.
Before Saturday’s game, I visited Kettler Capitals Iceplex and asked players for their Olympic picks. With the Caps sending five players to Sochi (Alex Ovechkin, Nicklas Backstrom, Marcus Johansson, Martin Erat, and John Carlson), I wondered where Washington’s non-Olympians would place their allegiances.
I figured that since the RMNB staff was able to put its own biases aside when we made our predictions, maybe the players would do the same and maybe even offer some hardcore, dispassionate hockey analysis.
Nope. Not even a little.
Tom Wilson has 3 fights in his first 9 games and little else. Is he going to become a bona fide NHL player or not? If so, what is holding him back?
My impression so far is that Tom Wilson’s job is to play a few minutes a night and maybe get into a fight. That might make him a fan-favorite, but I want to find out if he’s capable of more.
Let’s talk about Wilson, the efficacy of fighting, and what we expect from big, physical rookies. Plus: a bulldog cameo and the time I got in a fight over a candy cane.
In case you weren’t following closely over the summer, we’ve made this short video to get you up to speed on everything you missed. We’ve got comings (Grabo) and goings (Hendricks), changes to the rulebook, realignment, coaching staff changes, an engagement, a baby got Backstrom, and a little bit of Bailamos.
Puck drop is soon, so get ready.
This story was inevitable. Russia’s strict laws regarding gay people and the upcoming Sochi Olympics have put some of our favorite players in awkward position. Luckily, Alex Ovechkin acquitted himself perfectly well during media time on Monday. Pavel Datsyuk and Ilya Kovalchuk did not fare as well. This is going to get worse before it gets better.
Note: My opinion is my own and does not necessarily reflect all of RMNB.
A 6-5 overtime road win on a Saturday in the springtime. That’s the recipe for the ideal game recap — at least as measured by pageviews. Over the weekend I crunched some numbers to figure out what kind of recap stories get lots of readers and which get sucked in the abyss never to be read or spoken of again. What I discovered was summary evidence against the people who say the Internet thrives on negativity.
Wins drive views.
Also, my dog is in this video. Subscribe to the RMNB YouTube channel, as we’ll have a lot more stuff coming soon. Including, eventually, coverage of Actual Hockey.
Russian Machine Never Breaks is not associated with the Washington Capitals; Monumental Sports, the NHL, or its properties. Not even a little bit.
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