The NHL awards are always a weird hodgpodge affair of C-list celebrities and jokes that seemed funny before they were read off the teleprompter, but we got our own slice of specialized absurdity tonight, just for the Caps. In the video below, former Arrested Development star Will Arnett impersonates Brendan Shanahan — bored monotone and all — and disciplines Alex Ovechkin for a parking violation.

…Actually, we can see that happening.

Unfortunately, there were a few glaring errors that must be corrected, because we’re pedantic, fact-checking party poopers:

• First, Ovechkin drives what is basically a sexier Batmobile to games, not a Honda.
• And Mike Green rides a Vespa, thank you very much.
• If you are going to use a Brooks Laich body double, he must be at least four times more handsome than that if he is to pass for Brooks Laich.
• No way Alex Ovechkin has ever driven his car that slow. He’s more of an 88.8 mph / 1.21 gigawatts kind of driver.

And now, let’s let Nickelback play us out!