Unleash the Futility:* Panthers beat Caps 3-0

Slumber party. (Photo credit: Jacquelyn Martin)

There’s no way the Capitals can lose four in a row, especially if three of the four are held in the friendly climes of Chinatown. Against the Florida Panthers– improbable. With eight powerplay opportunities– inconceivable. Shut out– should be impossible.

Prepare to have your minds blown.

We were scoreless until one second remained in the second period. Michael Frolik plopped a loose puck into a wide-open net. Halfway into the third period, Steve Bernier shoved in another loose puck after two failed attempts. Mike Santorelli converted on a late-game powerplay in a similar breakdown. That’s it. That’s the whole dang scoring recap. You didn’t even see a Capitals player in this paragraph, did you? Panthers beat Caps 3-0.

Bleh bullets

• 

  The Caps are slumping hard. Haaaaaaard.
• Semyon Varlamov deserves precisely none of the blame for tonight’s loss, and we will gladly enter Thunderdome with anyone who suggests otherwise. Both goals came from exhausted and frustrated defenders. Semyon was his typical hyper-kinetic self, and I can’t wait for him to play a game with his REAL hockey team.
• The Capitals had five powerplay chances in the first period. They put 18 pucks on net. Eric Fehr alone had five.
• Tomas Vokoun, who might have been a Caps goalie in an alternate universe, earned the shut out I suppose.
• CSN’s Al Koken reported that he did not hear the details of Bruce Boudreau’s second intermission speech, only the volume. BBBB (Bench Boss Bruce Boudreau) looked extraordinarily peeved tonight. Darth Boudreau.
• Does anyone want to keep reading about this game? If you stopped right here, I’d totally understand. Watching this game was a chore. Writing about it feels like punishment.
• BBBB’s displeasure was evident in some of the adjustments he made. For a while, Alex Ovechkin switched from playing point on the powerplay to playing low. I couldn’t keep track of the lines, but it felt like powerball– any combination will do.
• No more bullets for you.

The Capitals are slumping something fierce. This season they have lost to some of the worst teams in the league (Leafs, Devils, Panthers). They have sabotaged their powerplay, and they show no signs of fixing it anytime soon. But we shall not boo! Booing helps no one.

Stick to the sarcastic clap

What have we learned? Don’t scratch Matt Bradley.

* NOTE: Thanks to Sam Wolk, The Horn Guy, for “Unleash the futility.”