We’re a hopelessly gimmicky blog. There are certain standards to which we hold ourselves:
- If the Capitals are losing and we have no idea what to write about, it’s okay to post an article which consists only of baby animal videos.
- When any member of the Capitals organization is spotted with someone on Jersey Shore, we must write about it.
- During any holiday, we must solicit artwork from our readers because a) you guys do more creative stuff than we can, and b) we are desperate for non-Kuznetsov content.
So with eight-pound, six-ounce baby Jesus’s birthday only six days away, we need your Capitals-themed Christmas cards and quick! We prefer that you create your cards using a primitive graphics program like MS Paint, Adobe Photoshop 3.0, or gluing macaroni on construction paper. We want cards for all religions. After all, Jeff Halpern and the Puck Buddys are Jewish, and Jason Chimera (11 G, 6 A) obviously has a deal with the devil.
Mail your submission to thecrew@russianmachineneverbreaks.com by 5pm on Friday. We’d prefer if they’re jpegs. And for those of you who are too scared to submit, take solace in the fact that we’ll pretty much post anything. Weird youtubes of your kids dancing, pictures of an Ovechtree. Ornaments. Seriously, anything. Well, as long as it’s not super crude.
Get crackin’. We can’t wait to see what you guys come up with this year!
