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Braden Holtby’s Beard is Engulfing His Entire Face

holtbeard

During the national anthem tonight, NBCSN cut to a close-up shot of Braden Holtby standing in the crease. Look at that beard. It’s growing so rapidly that I’m worried Holtby will look like this when the Caps return home for game three.

The Holtbeard is a sentient being. Like a sun-hungry seedling, it is searching for light. It made two of Holtby’s saves in the first period. During a stoppage in play, a morning dove flew out his beard, searching for food for its babies.

Compare Holtby’s beard to the facial hair grown by his Caps teammates.

gleason-orpik

green-backstrom

caps-bench

ovechkin

Holtby’s beard wins. No contest.

Full RMNB Coverage of Game One

RMNB is not associated with the Washington Capitals; Monumental Sports, the NHLPA, the NHL, or its properties. Not even a little bit.

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