Photo: Patrick Smith
How great are the Washington Capitals? I mean, how totally great are the Washington Capitals? Look at how the Capitals played in game five. They played great, so totally great, you will love how great they played. And the Penguins? Bad. So bad.
How’d the game start? Boom. Alex Ovechkin power play goal. But the Penguins came back, because the Penguins don’t respect us, they think we’re jokes, just like the rest of the world, and that’s why Chris Kunitz scored on a rebound.
But the Capitals are gorgeous so — and you’re going to love this — TJ Oshie scored a power-play goal and then Justin Williams put one in Matt Murray’s five-hole, really schlonged him there.
Caps beat Penguins 3-1.
- Matt Murray, Crooked Penguins goalie, was low energy on Saturday. He was a very low energy individual. I mean, by the second intermission he gave up 3 goals on 12 shots. Bad!
- And Swedes, how about the Swedes? You know I love Swedes. I get so many emails from Swedes and they tell me how great Swedes are, and they’re right. Nick Backstrom beating Crosby in battle, committing weird offensive-zone interference penalties on Kris Letang– that’s how hockey becomes great again.
- Justin Williams‘ five-hole goal. You see that? Did you see those hands? Beautiful hands, beautiful normal sized hands.
- John Carlson. Look at John Carlson. We hear “oh he’s such a good defenseman” but the possession polls, which are rigged by the way — we all know that, right? — say he got outshot badly, so badly. Do you believe that? Phony.
- Barry Trotz called me before the game and I said to him, Barry, we’ve got to bring the Nate Schmidt back to America. And we did. We brought the Nate Schmidt back to America. And it was tremendous. You liked it? Sure, one interference call, but that’s leadership.
- Power plays? I’ve always had such a good relationship with power plays. Alex Ovechkin? Great person, tremendous person. A real leader, and he scored a power play goal. We used to never score on power plays, but how about this whole deal with Ovechkin? Tremendous. A goal with the net and the puck and the thing? Beautiful. And then TJ Oshie, what a great American— even better. We’re finally going to win again.
- Sidney Crosby, can you believe this guy? I mean, this guy, and I call him Lyin’ Sid, always complaining to the refs in that voice– you know that voice? That whiny voice: wah wah, this guy crosschecked me, this guy put me in a headlock wah wah. And he doesn’t bring his best game, he brings the stick holding and the high sticking. Real sad performance from Lyin’ Sid. Maybe we won’t go to his cookout/pool party this year after all. He’s not very fair. Very unprofessional.
- Braden Holtby put up a wall, a beautiful wall, really tremendous and he made the Penguins pay for it. Those saves — I had so many people tweeting me about those saves. They were big saves, really tremendous saves. The Penguins, I call them the Crooked Pens, they don’t respect the Caps and they just shoot shoot shoot, but we’ve got this wall, and it is beautiful. And who paid for that wall? The Crooked Pens. Sad!
Photo: NHL
Beautiful. Just beautiful. The polls say we’re still a long way from winning, but I tell you this: we’re going to win again. We’re winners. We’re going to win and it’s going to be beautiful.
Crash the net.
